truth is she wouldnt have crapola if it werent for her live in BF....how can i get through the family gatherings without biting another hole through my tongue?
2006-10-11 02:47:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
While you may not care for your husband's family, they are still the family that you married into. I understand that it may be hard to bite your tongue but have a girlfriend or someone who you can talk to about this as a way to vent. If you talk too much to your husband you can create bad vibes after all it is his family that you can't stand. To get through the family gatherings take that friend with you and y'all can kind of do your own thing. It may be very difficult to see the good in some people, so maybe ignoring them is the best thing. Keep things polite and good luck!
2006-10-11 03:05:44 · answer #1 · answered by Luv My Corgi 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know EXACTLY what you mean, and I had this problem until I did a few of the following things:
1. I learned to be completely transparent. If there's something that I didn't agree with with, I politely voiced my opinion and said that I couldn't with a good conscience surround myself with poisonous people.
2. I set limits on how many family gatherings I go to, as well as the hours I will be there.
3. I try to have as many of them at MY house as possible, so that I can control what's going on. Poisonous people like to get you into their "den" so that they can feel OK with acting the way they do. Get them into your "den" where they hopefully will see that your home and lifestyle are positive and not filled with drivel, and they might behave better. Make SURE there are limits, such as when the party starts, ends, and what will be going on.
4. If your husband can't handle your doing any of the these things, let him know that protecting your honor should be the most important thing to him, and that if he can't do that, he's choosing his family over his wife, and that he can now go to gatherings alone.
I hope this helps. I've been there, so hang in there!
(I'm adding this after reading some of the responses):
You DON'T HAVE to be a victim, grin and bear it, just be nice etc. If you allow problems to continue and let them continue to walk all over you, it will only get worse and you will just be filled with more and more resentment, although you're putting on a "face." You HAVE control of your life, and you should take control over it so you don't later regret that you could've had those hours back to spend more time with your children, learn a skill, read a book, relax, etc.
2006-10-11 09:57:37 · answer #2 · answered by TrainerMan 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The same way my Wife does to my family...
Be extra kind to them! Offer to help them in any way you can. My Mother cant stand my wonderful Wife, (well, she doesnt care for me too much either, so, I guess we are in the same boat, eh?), so, every time my Wife is near her, she offers to help her in any way possible, and my Mother "still" abuses the privledge of rudeness to her every time!
I always didnt pay attention to my family, because they are rude, and told my Wife not to bother with them either, but, she still insists on trying, and I will give her credit, after 27 years, she's still in there slugging away!
Some people, you just have to learn to ignore. I do, and its worked for me all these years, and some people wont take no for an answer and keeps trying...learning a lesson in futility.
I think my Wife finally has had enough, since my Father's birthday, when we were invited out for cake and asked to come out at 7pm. I offered to come out sooner, but they "insisted" it be at 7! So, what happens? My Brother and my Mother goes in half for the cake, and "he" comes at 5! "Insisting" that the cake be cut, and he took half of it HOME WITH HIM! Well, it was my Dad's 80th birthday and we went out at 7 and my Wife was LIVID!! She wanted to take pictures, and wouldnt take "half a cake" worth of pictures... Mom made excuses and Dad did too, (like THAT was going to help), and I told my Wife, thats the way they are, so forget it... I think she finally has had enough now.
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-10-11 09:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Grin and bear it. That's all you can do. Promise yourself something really cool if you get through the gathering without hurting someone or snapping! Maybe that will make it easier.
2006-10-11 09:54:55 · answer #4 · answered by momofmodi 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Secretly send her the book, Overcoming Materialism by John Mac Arthur.
2006-10-11 10:10:26 · answer #5 · answered by Judles 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
pity them. someone who only thinks about money has nothing to live for, especially when it isn't even her money.
2006-10-11 09:56:24 · answer #6 · answered by yonitan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would have to be anti-social around them.
2006-10-11 09:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by Mujer Bonita 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just ignore and think about what it would be like if you were part of them....
2006-10-11 09:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by ♥LADY INDIA♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
vodka and vicodin.
JUST KIDDING
2006-10-11 09:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋