My finance smokes. He has promise to stop smoking before our wedding. Hoe do I assist him acheive this.?

Question

This is kiling me because i for one don't like smoking as a habit. Anytime he is angry he ask for a smoke. He has manage to stay a day without smoke but he said is like being caged. I don't know what else to do to help. And now he is telling me that i can't stop him smoking by stayingh far away from him; that mean we have to get married first before i can help stop the habit. I am thinking about asking to chose between the cigarette and me, but am afraid of what his reaction might be. I don't know what else to do.

Answer 1

First and foremost, he has to want to quit. You can't force him to do anything, he'll only resent it and possibly you. If he's quitting for him, and not anybody else, he's more likely to succeed. You have to be supportive, and try not to criticize him if he slips once in while. The more you are there for him, the better his chances of success are.
Make sure he has some form of a stop smoking aid. Whether it's a patch, gum, or pill, they makes it easier to quit since they help to control both the cravings and the anxiety. Then make sure his place and yours are clean and don't smell of smoke. Deodorize both places, and throw out any ashtrays. Make him go outside, regardless of the weather, to have a cigarette if he wants one. If he doesn't have to live with the smell, he less likely to want one. If there are no visible reminders, the cravings won't be triggered by seeing them. If either of you have friends or family that smoke, make sure that you tell them to please not smoke in front of him. If they come to either of your houses, they should step outside to light up. If he's at their house, maybe he can leave the room while they have their cigarette.
Whatever his usual smoking routine is, find a way to distract him when it's time for a cigarette. Like if he gets up in the morning and has coffee and a smoke, then give him something small to eat instead. Eating breakfast is healthy anyway, it gets your body's metabolism going for the day. Since many people depend on the oral stimulation to relax, get him some gum, hard candy, or whatever he likes, to occupy his mouth when he wants a cigarette. Also, try to find him something small to play with when he finds he doesn't know what to do with his hands. Something he can squeeze can be a big help.
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The more you distract him and keep him busy, the less he'll think about smoking. Moments of boredom can trigger a craving.
You might also want to look into ways for him to work off any anxiety and stress in a positive way. Things like a punching bag or strenuous workout at a gym can give him an outlet for all the feelings he will experience. Plus, it will help him to stay in shape with any extra eating he may do while trying to quit.
If it was me, I would definatley make sure he had quit before the wedding, and make him stick to his promise. I wouldn't set a date until he had achieved his goal to make sure he was going to go through with it. You shouldn't make him choose, it's not really fair to him. You started dating him as a smoker, and you said yes to his proposal when he was a smoker, so you love him in spite of the bad habit. Just make sure that he understands that while you will be there for him in any way you can, you want him to quit.

Answer 2

I understand your situation, however I don't recommend you to convert. First, Islam is based on the 7th century Arabia. It has advanced a little. Cigarettes were not popular back then, so no wonder it is not haram. Technically, Quran only mentions wine as haram. But, scholars interpret it as drugs and alcohol nowaday to just make it sound more scientific. Go take some Cultural Anthropology and Ancient history courses at a community college. Alcohol consumption and Pork are taboo in many so called pagan traditions/cults. It has nothing to do with health. Everything we eat has some side effects. It's the ******** that Muslims come up to justify their stupid laws. All animals are technically dirty, go to a farm or a meat factory, you will be disgusted. If you think Christianity was a fairytale, I have to tell you that, Islam is no better than that fairy tale. It is like comparing Harry Potter with Twilight. Just because Twilight is newer and more exotic, it does not make it any better or the real fairy tale! There's really no true religion, if there was one, there would not be this many traditions. Religions are man made, to relief pain, answering depressing question with convincing answers, making profit, system of mass control.

Answer 3

Natural Quit Smoking Magic

Answer 4

You can't make him stop. Only he can stop. This can be a relationship breaker, but if he hasn't stopped by now, chances are he won't. I would suggest you break off the engagement and move on. Tell him you don't want to be married to a smoker. If he cares enough about you to stop smoking to get you back, you will know its meant to be. If he doesn't, you know he was never planning to anyway.

Answer 5

For some people it is very difficult to quit smoking. Remember, it is an addiction. The decision to quit smoking is on the smoker. It will be less likely to succeed if he is forced or isn't doing it for himself but for someone else. Ultimately it needs to be his decision. If you give an ultimatum and he ends up quitting, there is a good chance he will start to smoke again shortly. If you love him and want to marry him, gentle reminders and support are very important. But if smoking is that disgusting to you and that is what you base your decision on for marriage, then you have some thinking to do.

Answer 6

If he has a brain in his head and cares about you he will quit smoking. I'm an ex-smoker so I know how hard it is to quit. But once a person makes their mind up to do it, they just do it. The only way to quit is to stop lighting up. It's not rocket science. To quit doing something you just stop doing it.
If he wants to quit he will. If he doesn't want to quit he won't. You need to decide how important it is to you. If you will not marry him if he won't quit just tell him so. Make up your mind though if it is that important to you and be prepared to move on if he won't quit.

Answer 7

If you are ready to lose him if he doesn't stop smoking, then you are certainly not ready to get married. My wife smoked when I met her, and I let her know right off that I thought it was a disgusting habit. I wouldn't kiss her if she even smelled like smoke. I wasn't punishing her, I just didn't like it. Her wanting to kiss me made her decide to quit. I guess that's one of the things that made me want to marry her. Hmmm, I never thought of it like that before. I think I'll go give her a kiss. Good luck!

Answer 8

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GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

If you don't want to live with a smoker, don't marry him. I doubt he will ever really quit. I once smoked. My fiance never asked me to quit, but I quit on my own because I loved her.

Answer 10

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