I am a 16 year old girl with a 21 year old boyfriend my parents dont know and the olny way that i can talk to him in privat is in my bedroom, however my parents have their ear against the wall whist i am talking to a `friend`, how can i make them understand that i need to have a privet conversation alone.
2006-10-11 02:30:35 · 24 answers · asked by samantha j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
They're only worried about you. My dad used to be exactly the same. All you can do is try and earn their trust and as you get older, they'll become more relaxed.
Alternatively, put some music on so they can't hear you!
2006-10-11 02:34:05 · answer #1 · answered by Wafflebox 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First it's hard to trust a 16 year old with a 21 year old to start with. Although you both might be very trust worthy kids he is older and considered a man and you are still a teenager although you may feel older. Any time you are having conversations in your bedroom it throws up a red flag. Try sitting on the porch or going for a walk. When your"friend " comes over spend some time with your parents so that they can see his intentions are respectful. They love you and they simply do not want to see you hurt. At sixteen school, your grades and your future should be the first focus. I have to agree that your bedroom is not a good place for the two of you to talk unless maybe you leave the door open . Then they wouldn't have to have their ear against the door.
2006-10-11 02:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by rose v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I'm not sure about your house rules when it comes to having boyfriends over but when my daughter was 16 and brought her boyfriend home my rule was there would be no closed doors. they could talk all they wanted and I didn't bother them. It wasn't my daughter I didn't trust at that age, it was her boyfriends. Try talking to your parents about it, without the yelling and accusations. If the only time you feel you have no privacy is when your boyfriend is over think about why that is. Your old enough to know the reason why, don't be so naive.
2006-10-11 02:48:00 · answer #3 · answered by francis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing having a 21 year old boyfriend, is not in your favor, may be if you had someone near your age, they may feel better. But most parents do that, just try and follow the rules, and then they can try and gain trust in you, then and only then will they slacken up on you, They only care about you, and want to stare you in the right direction. Yes! it is hard, but it will be easy on you, if you accept what they are trying to do for you! I know you are saying, I do not need this, But they only care! and love you.
2006-10-11 02:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job, get a flat, pay for your own food/bills etc, then you'll have no worries about snooping parents. Failing that try that strange thing called communication. If they feel you are being sneaking around like a naughty kid they will never trust you. More to the point, why hav'nt you told your parents about him? Are you ashamed about him or something? If you were truly relaxed happy and confident about the relationship you wouldnt be sneaking around.....would you?
2006-10-11 07:42:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if they are listening to your conversations then they are suspicious. Do they have any inkling that you have a boyfriend? perhaps if you were more open about it they would have nothing more to fear and leave you alone.
If you behave as though you have something to hide instead of in an adult way and telling them about your relationship then they will treat you like the child you appear to be.
2006-10-11 02:37:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to sit them down and gently tell them that as you are getting older you now need more privacy.You already know that you need to earn it but reassure them that you just feel abit claustrophobic and it would be good for you to have more freedom,space and privacy but your mature enough not to take advantage.Keeping secrets regarding your older boyfriend is not a good idea as secrets have a nasty habit of coming out in the open,tell them that you are in the early stages of a relationship and ask if they would like to meet him to judge for themselves.Understand it from their point of view as well,your their little girl and they just want to protect you,trust me i am 26yrs old and my dad still calls me his little girl,embarrassing or what.....Good luck.
2006-10-11 03:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by sarah y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only one way, sit down and have a frank conversation with
your parents. Ask them what are the alternatives they can
give you. If none suit you, tell them that you are going to
a convent to become a nun. Stun them and perhaps some
common sense will prevail.
2006-10-11 02:38:51 · answer #8 · answered by Ricky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. With you having a 21 year old boyfriend i think they have every right to be nosey, Dont be mad because they care for your well being, Seriously girl.
If you cant understand that you Shouldnt Be dating, period.
2006-10-11 02:34:39 · answer #9 · answered by smile4me936 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you become an adult it takes your parents a long time to change from looking after you to respecting you as another adult. However hard you may find it, its definitely something you need to discuss with them. This will probably be hard because its a very adult thing to do, but you are an adult so don't feel embarrassed.
2006-10-11 02:45:53 · answer #10 · answered by gosseyn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋