Do you think marriage is stupid or great?

Question

I'm talking to my boyfriend about getting engaged, and I'm really happy about it. But I guess the divorce rate of America scares me. I don't want to end up getting married and having kids only to get divorced. I just want to know if you regret getting married or if you think its great. Thanks

Answer 1

I think marriage is great! Strong families are the backbone of our society. Of course, that backbone seems to be getting weaker as the number of strong families seems to be on the decline.

That being said, the value and importance of marriage for most of us is based on spiritual and religious beliefs and also customs and traditions. Some people claim it is just a "legal" arrangement between two people who love each other and that the paper really isn't necessary. However, it's not about the paper, it is about the sacred vows. The paper just makes those sacred vows legally, socially and-if you believe in the sanctity of marriage-morally recognized. Plus, it's the traditional and practical way of tracking families who make those sacred vows.

Everyone should have values based on something. It's those values, which vary, that tell us how important marriage is and how we should live our lives. For Christians, for example, those values are based on the Bible. If you choose to get married, it is critical to share common values about marriage, family, childrearing and finances. Those are the ones that come to mind immediately.

You'll also need to discuss roles in advance of having children. Who makes decision regarding this or that. And finally, who get's the final decision in the event of conflict. You will not always reach a concensus on everything. That is the trouble with believing that love will conquer all in a straight 50/50 partnership. Someone has to be in charge, occassionlally, someone is going to have to submit.

One more thing, marriage is pointless, in my opinion, if both partners are not serious about the "...until death do us apart" portion of the vows.

Good luck to you! And no, I don't regret mine for a second!

Answer 2

I think marriage is great. It shows commitment on both ends. It really didn't affect me and my husband. Our relationship is the same as it was before we were married. (Except we have a 6 month old now). Many people do enter into it lightly. They know there is an alternative if something goes wrong.
Dont get me wrong. There are people that change after years of marriage and this can cause a divorce to.
I am very happy we married and I would do it all over again if time turned back.!

Answer 3

I think it's great if the people are really in love. Today people get married who are in lust and not love or because she got pregnant. If you are going to go into a marriage, make sure you are 100% in love and you could live with that person forever. I've been with my husband for 10 years and married for 9 and to this day I love him just as much as I did when I first fell in love with him. I wouldn't change it for the world. Even when I am mad at him, I still love being married to him. I wouldn't look at the divorce rate for others, this relationship is yours and not everyone elses. There is nothing out there that will tell you if your marriage will work but if you get in to it for the right reasons then it should last.

Answer 4

It's both stupid and great, but mostly great. It takes a lot of compromise and hard work. My pastor always says "marriage is suffering." That sounds a bit morbid, but if you look at it from that perspective, things can only improve. What I think he means is that it takes a LOT of personal sacrificing to live as one with another person. But trust me the good times greatly outweigh the bad. I advise that you tell yourself that you will never get divorced, don't even let it be an option. Try to remember that you two are together because you love each other, not hate each other. I don't regret it. I'd marry him again. He made me want to cut him last night, but then he gave me pancakes in bed this morning... so, you've gotta take the good with the bad. Do it!

Answer 5

The idea of marriage, the concept of two people co-existing in a monogomous, loving, nurturing relationship, with the legal paperwork and/or spiritual or civil ceremony to back it up...it's an ok idea...i just don't think it's meant for each and every one of us...no matter how great you might think your relationship is now, once you get married, it really does change things...so be sure to go into a marriage knowing that we're all human, we all mess up, and there are NO guarantees...anything can and does happen...and you are still YOU no matter what happens in your marriage...remember that you don't need to be married to know and feel and give real unconditional love, or validated as an adult...and just do the best you can...

Answer 6

Marriage has a lot of legal bennefits/drawbacks, depending on the situation.

I think that in order for a marriage to work, it has to be between two people who have a good idea of what they want in life, and have the maturity, respect and love to make it work. You have to wake up every day wondering what you can do to make your mate happy...and your mate has to do the same. You have to actually miss your partner when they are not there, and not have that sense of relief when they are "out of your hair".

If your relationship is like that, and has been like that for years, then maybe you should think about it. That's right, years, not weeks, or months...years.

Remember that the divorce statistics don't tell the whole story. There are a lot of people out there who only stay together "for the children", or are involved in a game of "Last One to Die Gets the House." The divorce numbers are only the unhappy people who realize that they need to start living their lives again...they don't reflect the whole situation.

Answer 7

I've been married and recently divorced and yet whilst that particular marriage was rubbish I still value the concept behind marriage.
If you are sure about the person you are with, and have lived with him, then marriage is great. Remember all relationships require a lot of hard work and it takes two to sort through problems.
Don't be scared, marriage is wonderful, and there are many loving, successful marriages out there.
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Answer 8

I'm not a huge fan of marriage. I think too many people get married because of these reasons:
1. they're afraid that there will be no one else and they settle for just anyone
2. they think they *need* to be married and/or have someone in their life
3. they are afraid of being alone
4. they feel its expected out of them


I did this and let's just say I've learned a lot over the years. Getting married is the easy part, wanting to stay married is HARD WORK. Can you trust him completely? Can you picture growing old with him? And also, does he get a long with his mom? If he doesn't, then be very careful. i wish I would have remembered that because it would have saved me a lot of time and heartache.

Answer 9

I got married and am now divorced looking back there was signs to be seen that I didn't but I think marriage is a great idea if your both willing to work at it.

Answer 10

If you two are truly in love, I think marriage is a great thing! I'm not married, have never been married, so I'm not sure what marriage life is all about, but if you two are happy with one another, I'm almost certain y'all will have a happy marriage. I wish you the best, Good luck! :)