I been married 10 years,&just found out his been cheating on me for long time,I am getting a divorce,but I istill think some how to sleep with his friend,to get back at him(friend is on the bord with this idea) what should I do? iam 30+
2006-10-11 02:11:13 · 50 answers · asked by Jazzy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why would you degrade yourself for such a flimsy excuse of revenge? In the long run, you'll regret it. That might even drive a good man away from you... think about that!
When you fight evil with evil... only EVIL wins! Why would you want to become the horrible monster you hate? Doesn't make sense, really.
Don't go to bed with his friend (his friend will go along as long as he's getting a quick, easy and free "lay" but he's not looking out for YOUR best interest; he'll also want to brag about it and make you look cheap in the long run; if he's willing to betray a friend, what makes you think he won't also betray you in some way?)
Keep your head up high and keep your dignity and always conduct yourself like a lady! Don't EVER give him the excuse to be able to say, "That's why I cheated on her." You're getting a divorce because of infidelity and you'd be willing to lower yourself to HIS standards? I don't think any good man who finds out will approve of this behavior, do you? (If he steps on dog s h i t, do YOU also have to step on it?)
The best form of revenge is SUCCESS.
Conduct yourself like a lady at all times, especially in front of hm and his family, and do whatever is necessary to improve yourself (take night courses, read, "Word Power Made Easy," by Dr. Norman Lewis to help you understand more of what you hear and read, to express yourself better when you speak and write... to enable you to learn new skills and spend less time studying; read this book, there is nothing to study or memorize, just read 20-30 minutes a night and try to make sense of what it says; that's all).
MAKE him regret losing you but never give him the edge or excuse of getting rid of you! Remember, YOU are a lady, those that he cheated with are BELOW YOUR DIGNITY TO IMITATE.
2006-10-11 02:45:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, no, no...Don't do that, it will only help him justify what he has done and he will make it look like you have been doing it all along and that is why he is cheating on you. Besides, that would make you no better than him and what he is doing. You need to take the high road, be the better person and above all, Maintain Your Self Respect and not do it. You may think it is pay back for him, but all you will do it cheapen yourself in your own eyes and you end up losing again. Get the divorce, move on, be happy and successful and it will be the best pay back you can get.
2006-10-11 02:20:49 · answer #2 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are just doing it to get back at him, don't go there. You will regret it in the long run, and maybe the short run as well. If you want to get back at him, just stay calm, and let your lawyer earn his money.
Sleeping with his best friend will not hurt him as much as his infidelity has hurt you...You had trust, and a broken commitment that were the main issues, and now, he will expect you to try to get back at him...there are no trust issues there, and the relationship is already gone. You could just be getting yourself set up for a video tape session for use in a counter-suit.
Revenge is something that will eat at you. It escalates...and turns into a very destructive cycle. Just move on, and be successful...send him a post card from Hawaii after you get your life back in order. This will go over very well if he has to work 2 jobs to pay spousal support...and it'll only cost you a buck or two...sleeping with his friend can cost you self respect.
2006-10-11 02:33:28 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No! Don't lower yourself to his level. Hold your head high, and just walk out of his life. Get a divorce, and move on. Don't think twice about it anymore. Whats done is done. Plus, what if he really doesn't care if you sleep with his friend? What if he thinks "she's only doing it to get back at me and doesn't have feelings for him..I'm still in control" or something like that? Don't let him make you do anything out of character.
2006-10-11 02:55:40 · answer #4 · answered by shondak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs don't make a right. You're already getting a divorce, why go to his level by giving yourself to someone you don't even care about. To get back at him only hurts you in the end, because clearly he doesn't care about you or he wouldn't have cheated. Leave with some dignity, don't let him take that away from you too!
2006-10-11 02:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going threw. But sinking to his level and comprising your own morals will not make you feel better in the long run. Just Waite for the divorce to be final and then move on with your life. There is someone out there for you and if you don't sleep with someone out of revenge you'll fell much better about yourself.
Good luck to you and I hope you find happiness.
2006-10-11 02:15:26 · answer #6 · answered by Icara4ewu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should stoop to his level. Wait till you've got your Decree Absolute before you go bed hopping. If you sleep with his friend before you're divorced from him you'll be no better than him even despite the divorce proceedings. Also, do you think you'd really feel better if you slept around now??? It might seem like a good idea but it's not.
2006-10-11 02:14:00 · answer #7 · answered by yes darling 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it hurts and you wanna get back at him. Perhaps the better way to handle this would be to heal yourself and focus on you rather than him! Let the lawyers avenge him and you handle your circle of control. Right now he is outside that so what u do may not even affect him. Of course his best friend would wanna sleep with you, he's a male with testosterones. Besides if his is your husband's best friend and he isnt being a good friend to him, he definitely doesnt have your interest at heart.
2006-10-11 02:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by always angry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bet his friend has this idea. He just wants a good time from you. What a loser he is!!!
Your self esteem is at an all time low right now, don't make a stupid mistake you will live to regret later.
Act like a 30+ year old and keep your legs together, improve yourself, dump your husband AND his friend.
2006-10-11 02:16:41 · answer #9 · answered by lofolulu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It won't matter to him so don't do it. Men pass around women from one to the other all the time. It will be no big deal, just a big joke for the next 40 years between them. Also, he can use it against you in the divorce proceedings.
2006-10-11 02:49:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋