Some of the answers I received sounded as though we were having sex in front of the child? Do couples not have intimate realtions while their children are suppose to be in their rooms asleep? If so when do they have a chance for this? I have tried to give her chores,tried to help with homework,tried to give her all that she ask for. It doesn't seem to matter to her. I've offered her an allowance to help out around the house but all she seems to do is continue to make messes and not offer to clean them up. As for boyfriends, she says she likes older men which I tell her is wrong. A 13 year old and a 25 year old seems a little much to me but her natural mom has no problem with that. It may be wrong but when I do her laundry I have started getting rid of what I call slutty clothes(clothes that are way to small for her or way to old for her) I know teen agers need to be just that but I also don't want men looking at her like she is much older than she is. Am I being childish and wrong?
2006-10-11 02:08:16 · 12 answers · asked by rose v 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Keep protecting her, someone has too! I had to do the same thing with my daughter, with the clothing. Bottom line is..you are the adult...she is the child. If she doesn't like that then too bad for her. As for the 25 year old....tell HIM to stay away from her or you will call the police. And stick to that. Any 25 year old who is interested in a 13 year old needs to be in jail!
2006-10-11 02:16:16 · answer #1 · answered by Sunspot Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! you are not being childish or wrong.....What does the father think??? If I were you, I would report that, that is wrong. A 25 year old has no business even looking at a 13 year old.
Being a step parent is sooooo hard to do. Seems like no matter what we do, we are always in the wrong.
If she is making messes and refuses to clean them up (here is the hard part) discipline her. take away things, ground her, but what ever you do, make sure that you have her fathers support.
As far as being intimate, yes every couple has that right. You need to find a time when she is not there, or make sure she is asleep.
Keep getting rid of the "slutty clothes" replace them with clothes more suitable to her age. You could also tell her that you do not allow clothes like that in your home, that those things need to stay at mom's.
Sorry, I am just rambling, but I do hope this helped a little
2006-10-11 09:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by ame_369 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatly, anything you do or say to a teen (especially a teen girl) is wrong-- even if you werent the "wicked step mom"-- Teenagers are just wired diferently than the rest of humanity.
Throwing away her clothes--honestly--wont help a bit-- my sister was similar to your daughter--all she has to do is keep her "fun" clothes at a friends or at school--and switch over from presentable to whorish when youre not around. A 13 year old and a 25 year old is wrong -- but to me anyway-- its not showing your daughter in a bad light--its showing this 25 year old creep poorly--- whats wrong with him that he cant find a 25 year old girl?
Think back to when you were 13-- if an older guy showed interest--wow thats pretty unbeatable-- but to act on it--thats a whole diferent story-- she will --in the long run--know you do the things you do because you care for her and not to punish her-- but in all honesty-- how do you get that across to a 13 year old who thinks shes 21? I havent a clue. I wish I knew the answer-- but for all its worth-- you ARE doing the right thing by NOT condoning her behaivor-- if her "mom" allows it-- well.... its almost impossible for anyone to make the girl see whats right.
Whats her dad's part in all this?Also just want to add- the majority of the people who will post answers will most likly BE only about 13-16-- so keep that in mind.
2006-10-11 09:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooh this is a tough one
what you are dealing with here, is the fine line that exists between being a biological mother versus a stepmom when raising a child
its a shame that there isnt an easy way to 'be a stepmom thats why!' in the same way that you can just be the mom....aka like them or not they are my rules
you didnt mention a word about your husband
does he not care about the issues or the two of your issues (you and the girl)
does he back you and your decisions>?
if so, when all else failed, id get the backup
you are trying to do the right thing by her
good luck
2006-10-11 09:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by iammissmess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you not wrong cause i would do the same thing.If you got to be there with her then you need to have a say in what is going on there.If you sat there and say nothing then you is saying that it ok what she is doing.If her mom think it ok for her to date a guy that old she need to keep her.Because the first time something happen they going to blame you for all of it.So don't let that kid run things you are the adult and she a kid that need to stay in her placed.Do what you think is right and one day she will thank you for it.
2006-10-11 09:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by Happy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in the right.A 13 yr old had no business with a 25 yr old. It's illegal!! Talk to her father if he won't do something,I don't know what you will do.Getting rid of tramp clothes is good. You don't want her to get pregnant!!!Good Luck!! You seem like a great step-mom!!!
2006-10-11 09:15:03 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre out of line editing her clothing without her consent.. but 25 on 13 is illegal everywhere I know of. Continue to do the best you can with the help of the father...if you dont have that youre out of business.
2006-10-11 09:12:42 · answer #7 · answered by David B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
neither, your just being over-protective. There's nothing wrong with that but, you can't just through out someone elses clothes but i understand why. And about the age thing, I think she wants to get attacked.
2006-10-11 09:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Kendall S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you're not wrong. i would put any 25 yr old that is seeing my daughter in jail. my husband and i lock our bedroom door to have relations whether the kids or asleep or not. good luck to you and just hink she'll be gone in 5 years. :)
2006-10-11 09:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by notyours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all - I think your doing better than her "real" mom. Stick to your guns sister!!!
2006-10-11 09:12:04 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋