I am thinking about comeing out at church. The pastor knows and is cool. I go to a United Methodist in east Tennessee. Should I? Any one got any advise?
2006-10-11 01:57:20 · 17 answers · asked by Ritchie D 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
What's the point? I mean really, aren't you guys there at the Church for spiritual naturing? Please don't misunderstand my point of view. I believe in being honest with others and sharing yourself for inspiration. In as much; in your case leave it along. If someone ask tell them. However; don't make it a focus point in your life. You are like a diamond with many facets. Your sexual orientation; isn't the sum of your existence.
2006-10-11 05:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by Swordfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, I would agree with some of the answers here. You should feel out the waters before taking the plunge.
However, it's been my experience that the United Methodist Church (as a whole) is a very understanding organization. Most people within the church aren't as closed-minded as other religions and are open to more ideas. Methodists happen to be one of my favorite sects of Christianity because there is very little hypocricy in the ranks.
However, I also know the societal acceptance level in Tennesee. It's not very high, unfortunately. Many communities are full of narrow-minded bigots. For that, I would say, be careful.
However, if you've been going to church there for quite some time, you know those people. By knowing them, you have probably witnessed some of their world views. Once you come out, it will probably be spread like a wildfire you can't stop. Consider everything and everyone carefully and make your decision from there. Coming out is a very personal thing.
I hope this helps.
2006-10-11 02:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am also United Methodist. My church, in MN, has adopted a Mission Statement to be inclusive to everyone no matter what their gender, race, nationality, disability or sexual orientation is.
Talk with your pastor to see if your church has a similar policy. This way you know that the church as a whole will support you no matter what. The Methodist Church is one of the most welcoming and accepting of churches.
2006-10-11 02:10:43 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie D 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Coming out in a church is a wonderful idea - particularly if your pastor is supportive.
To answer an earlier comment - we need to come out so that people in the general community realize we are everywhere, and we are not bad or frightening. Research shows that attitudes change when someone actually knows a gay person.
Letting this congregation know you would be a great gift to them, and would help our gay community continue its march forward to equal rights with everyone else in our society.
I don't know how your church works, but if there is a time for personal testament, then I would start by saying something like "I have been living a lie for the last xxx years. I have kept something important from my friends, relatives and this congregation. But it's something joyous and wonderful and I want to share it with you now. Many of your know my 'friend' xxxx, but you may not have realized they are actually my life-partner...."
Depending on your circumstances of course! But that would be the start of what I would say. I'd also ask if there were questions, that they see me after the meeting for a private discussion.
Who knows - there may be others in your position in that congregation wrestling with that same issue - and you will inspire them to live their lives openly and proudly.
2006-10-11 02:31:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I personally wouldn't announce that I'm gay to my church. If there's members of the church who you want to know then you should tell them individually, people talk so the word will get around believe me. My church preaches that homosexuality is a sin but the minister has preached on about "coming out the closet" and confessing your burden. We had a guest speaker who made it seem like you can stop being a homosexual and clearly he was preaching on a subject that he wasn't too familiar with. It can be really damaging to a persons mental health.
What's your proposes for telling them that you're gay? You might need to tell them your story but know it goes against religion and it might not sit too well with people who don't understand homosexuality.
My propose would be so that others who maybe suffering inside with the secret of being gay or bisexual will find the courage to come out for themselves and live there life. Some might expect that you come out and stay away from the gay "lifestyle". That's 1 reason I feel the need to expose my sexuality to other people, I don't mind at all helping other people free themselves to live there authentic life but some people might feel that you should change once you tell them.
2006-10-11 03:13:33 · answer #5 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What would be the purpose of your announcement? Why not just continue your church life as you always have and simply be yourself. Pattern your behavior after the other church members. Be honest but recognize that you are going to be misunderstood and that is going to be a problem for alot of people. I'm glad your pastor is cool with it, but I'm wondering how cool he is going to be when he is brought to task by the church elders. Have a talk with him and see what he really thinks about what you want to do. You might look for a Metro Community Church in your area, the MCC ministers to the GLBT community and would be a welcoming home for you. Good luck.
2006-10-11 02:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dude, I am in a United Methodist Church in Tx, and if your church is anything like mine, they will so accept you. A lot of churches are being more and more accepting to the gay community. If they don't, let us know.
2006-10-11 03:58:42 · answer #7 · answered by andywpickard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're very lucky that your pastor is so understanding. But the rest of the congragation might not be. I would say, start having conversations about gay people in general with those that you care about in the church and get a feel for how they would react.
If you pastor is willing to stand behind you on this one, then you have a strong footing. Heck, it might even be a great way to make some change in the world. If those that know you and love you, in your church, can accept you for who you are, then there is hope for us all.
Best of luck!
2006-10-11 02:17:57 · answer #8 · answered by Two Spirited 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i came out to my church and lets just say things didn't go so well. Since then I've move to a different church that accepts the fact that I'm a Lesbian. So if they are not accepting find a new church but i hope all goes well. good luck mate
2006-10-11 03:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd question the wisdom of that. Regardless of whether or not the pastor is "cool" with that, I'd be willing to bet some, if not many, of the paritioners aren't. There is a place and time for everything and honestly, "coming out" in my opinion is best done on an individual basis, to friends and family, not large random crowds, no matter how "safe" you feel with them around.
2006-10-11 02:10:37 · answer #10 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋