I am doing a project for this, and there this sentence i am not sure if got anything wrong. Need your kind help here.
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
Please read this sentence, is there any mistake? please correct for me as i need to submit this tomorrow and thanks for your help.
2006-10-11 01:53:25 · 11 answers · asked by wishingforpeace 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It is a huge run on sentence to begin with.
2006-10-11 01:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by JustJane 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here is how it should read:
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspiring to be at the forefront of the industry."
I would cut out the last part starting with aspired, it doesn't make sense to me. But if you're going to use it, make it aspiring. The sentence is a little long.
2006-10-11 01:58:59 · answer #2 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching another great Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
I think that might sound a little better
2006-10-11 01:58:08 · answer #3 · answered by Adam D. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I'd rework the whole thing; it's a bit wordy.
Try this:
"As we continuously strive for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to congratulate Axion Pte Ltd. as it aspires to lead the industry and launches a new Axion Autohaus on Maine Road."
It's a bit cleaner that way.
2006-10-11 02:06:14 · answer #4 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Today*,* as we continuously strive for breakthrough enhancement*s*, we are proud to *bestow* our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launch*ing* yet another grand Axion Autohaus*.* The new Maine Road location is destined to be at the forefront of the industry.
All of that is too much to cram into one sentence, it had to be broken up. I think "bestow" works better than "present AND give", and is more fitting with the flow fo the statement. "Search" doesn't really get the right point across, I think "strive" works better. Some of the tenses didn't quite match.
2006-10-11 02:04:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As we continue to search for breakthrough enhancements, we are proud to give our most heartfelt congratulations today to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road. We anticipate this location to be at the forefront of the industry.
2006-10-11 01:59:06 · answer #6 · answered by DrVodka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for (officially launching) the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
or use (to officially launch)
2006-10-11 01:57:13 · answer #7 · answered by shampi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Today as we continuously look for breakthrough enhancements, we are proud to present and heartily congratulate Axion Pte ltd for its official launch of the yet another grand Axion Autohaus at Maine Road, truly aspired to be at the forefront of the industry!!
...Hope this helps.I couldnt make it better.This covers both US/Indian and European Language style..
2006-10-11 02:16:33 · answer #8 · answered by kmehra_hs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
search for a breakthrough enhancement...
present is to give so use either present or give
for officially launching yet another....
2006-10-11 01:59:33 · answer #9 · answered by Maria S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ltd. launching. take the "the" out between launch and yet.
2006-10-11 01:56:05 · answer #10 · answered by Phoenix Rising 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋