I am doing a project for this, and there this sentence i am not sure if got anything wrong. Need your kind help here.
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
Please read this sentence, is there any mistake? please correct for me as i need to submit this tomorrow and thanks for your help.
2006-10-11 01:52:21 · 14 answers · asked by wishingforpeace 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Teaching
It's a run-on sentence.
2006-10-11 01:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
omg too long of a sentence to say it all in one breath. Try breaking it down a little bit like this.
Today, as we continuously search for breakthorugh enhancement, we are are proud to present to Axion Pte ltd our heartfelt congratulations. The official launching of yet another grand Axion Autohaus, which is located on Maine Road, aspires to be at the forefront of the industry.
2006-10-11 02:02:01 · answer #2 · answered by Ruth Less RN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as "breakthrough enhancement", unless you are talking about the enhancement of breakthroughs.
When you say "we are proud to present" in the way you have said it, it means that you are "proud to introduce". If you are presenting Axion Pte Ltd with an award of some kind, you have to say so.
It's redundant to say "most heartfelt".
You can't say "aspired to be" in the way you've said it, because you're using "aspired" as an adjective, when it's a verb.
It might be better, if you were to re-write your introduction as follows:
Today, we are proud to introduce Axion Pte Ltd, and to congratulate this excellent firm on the launch of its newest Axion Autohaus store, located at Maine Road. We are confident that the opening of this new location will help to place Axion Pte Ltd at the forefront of the industry.
2006-10-11 03:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by Larry Powers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey try this
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough in enhancement, we are proud to present and offer our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching yet another grand Axion Autohaus, located at Maine Road, aspiring to be at the forefront of the industry. "
2006-10-11 02:01:25 · answer #4 · answered by sandysden135 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Today,as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd,for officially launching yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
2006-10-11 02:00:33 · answer #5 · answered by donniotran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry. "
Well, you almost got it right. There are a few things wrong with the sentence that don't make sense, so here's the version that's corrected.
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, which aspires to be at the forefront of the industry."
I hope that helped.
2006-10-11 01:59:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Today, as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement and aspire to be at the forefront of the industry, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road.
2006-10-11 01:57:10 · answer #7 · answered by Miranda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry. "
Well, you almost got it right. There are a few things wrong with the sentence that don't make sense, so here's the version that's corrected.
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, which aspires to be at the forefront of the industry."
I hope that helped.
2006-10-11 01:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by SRS 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are a few parts that don't make sense:
"...Axion Pte ltd for officially launch the yet another..." should read, "...Axion Pte ltd for officially launching yet another.." and the last phrase doesn't really fit: "aspired to be at the forefront of the industry." I think "poised to be at the forefront of the industry" is better, but still not exactly right. Could you make it a new sentence, like maybe, "Our congratulations to you as you continue to place yourself at the forefront of the industry."
Good luck!
2006-10-11 02:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by Noelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pty ltd for officially launch yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
i presume that the Pte was meant to b pty
2006-10-11 01:55:49 · answer #10 · answered by sweet - angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comma after today. Pty not Pte. Comma after present, then comma after congratulations. Launching, not launch. Take out 'the' after launching. Full stop after Road. 'Axion aspire to be at the forefront of the industry'' might sound better.
2006-10-11 02:27:08 · answer #11 · answered by cloud43 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋