I feel as if I am loosing my husband. He has changed since he came back from Iraq. He hasn't really wanted to put his heels back into the family.He has a job now where he is always working & signed to be on call 24-7.Is my mind just playing tricks on me or am I facing a big problem? I feel like I'm just here for comfort.
2006-10-11 01:16:45 · 17 answers · asked by "karma" 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's been home for 6 months & i really don't fuss or argue cause i agree he has been through alot but I feel so lonely & confused.
2006-10-11 01:37:58 · update #1
You are just there for comfort. That's what we do when our partner needs us. There are so many changes and he's having a hard time coping. It's hard for us home folks to understand what they go through. In fact we can't. Yes, you are facing the hardest trial of your marriage. Now go get help. You get help, for you. There are a lot of groups out there, don't try facing it alone. Get together with other wives, see how they are dealing with it. And let your husband know you're there for him. If he'll go for help that's great, but I almost see him as saying he's dealing with it, or there's nothing to deal with. It's hard but neither one of you are alone. Even if he won't admit to anything, always let him know you are ready to listen and really listen he'll let you know what's going on but you may have to catch it on the fly. Remember you're not alone, don't try to do it alone and never go behind his back, let him know straight up front that you are finding this difficult too. Best of luck.
2006-10-11 01:32:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your mind is playing tricks on you at all! The war has obviously affected him severly. He needs counseling and so do you. He may have seen and done things that he can't deal with so is withdrawing completely. He may not want to talk to you about them because either he can't or he doesn't think you can handle that and he also may not want to expose you to the horrors of war. There seems to be a lot of service people coming home that are having adjustment difficultes. In the past wars, it took a lot of time for men to come home from war. By the time they were discharged and took a boat home they had months to deal with what had happened. Now they are discharged and home all within a few days or weeks. How do you go from killing one day to being a family man the next? That would be extremely hard for anyone. i hope you and he are able to get counseling and become stronger because of the experience. if he doesn't get help he may go off the deep end.
2006-10-11 08:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by Stephani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and be supportive of him, you must remember he has had a very traumatic experience. Don't be fussing about him working, all the time, at least you know where he is, he needs an adjustment. Try and be their for him. He does not need you to be putting so much pressure on him. Some men when they come back, they need to get into counseling. Try and have a happy home when he comes home, that will make him always want to be their!
2006-10-11 08:25:51 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's because he really seen some bad things over in Iraq depending what his duty was over there. Communicate with him and tell him how you feel. I am sure it's just hard right now to adjust back to normal life once again with his family. Put some flame into the relationship once again. Make him a bubble bath a nice candle light dinner and definitley talk to him about this issue. Good luck to you
2006-10-11 08:34:51 · answer #4 · answered by MizzSweetness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Four Letters for you:
P: post
T: tramatic
S: stress
D: disorder
It is normal for those who have been Downrange to experience this. Some more than others. I have seen it in various Stages. My friend who was in Nam experienced it for years after returning and was seeing someone at the VA. My DH has been Downrange twice and hasn't had any of the Symptoms.
Please check out the many Links I have included. They should be of some help for you. You can also do a Search yourself for even more. Just put in PTSD in whatever Search Engine you use.
Good luck....and hang in there...
2006-10-11 08:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by BITE ME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
behind every sucessfull man is a women, u are a great women because u try to solve ur marriage problems. maybe theres something bothering him much, but one thing for sure, if he is working, means that he work to support the family, means that he loves u and want u to be happy. At this ten second, he may forget about his family for a while, but if u help him and support him along the way, surely he will realize the wrong path he takes... dont give up, support ur husband, dont think with emotional, think rasionally...
2006-10-11 08:27:28 · answer #6 · answered by zal_mie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MEN coming back from the war are tramatized. LOOks like you both may need counseling. BUT what those men saw over there he may never be normal again.IF you cant take no more i suggest you move on. LOOKS like it will be a long haul a head.
2006-10-11 08:21:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Then comfort him. A good wife comforts her husband, just as a good husband comforts his wife.
I never been in a war, but I've been in prolonged stressful situations. These things are not easy for a person to go through. Ask him if he wants to talk about what happened there, what he saw and did. If he does not want to talk about it, let him know you are on his side, you love him, and want to help. then support him just as you would want him to support you.
2006-10-11 08:22:21 · answer #8 · answered by bigdogthepirate 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like maybe something happened to your husband while he was in Iraq that changed him. If you can try and get him to go to counseling with you. Some people deal with things that happen in their lives in different ways. That may be what he is doing.
2006-10-11 08:22:02 · answer #9 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Speak to him, tell him how you feel. While none of us can imagine how it must be over there (my husband has also been over there and is due to go over there again soon) We can still be there and listen. He needs to know that he's loved and that you'll always be there to listen to his problems.
2006-10-11 08:23:14 · answer #10 · answered by Bodieann 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋