whats wrong with him?

Question

When me and my partner of 4 years go out with my sister and friends we occasionaly drink and things are fine until we get home he starts yelling and screaming saying i dont go near him im always with his friends but he is imagning it i only talk to his friends if they ask me for a cigarette other than that i am with my sister we only go out about once a month but i am so faithful to him and he thinks i dont want to be with him. And we have a 21 month old daughter i dont wasnt her to lose her father but i get one break a month where my mum takes her and is it a crime that i let lose for one night? Honest thoughts please. From parents would be helpful

Yes we do go out together. We spend alot of time alone when the baby is asleep and its never a problem its only when we go out we have the problems i dont know whats wrong he feels im not affectionate enough but he wants me hanging off him the whole time we are out but i cant just be with him all night i need to talk to other people to thats the whole reason we go out to socialise

Yes we do go out together. We spend alot of time alone when the baby is asleep and its never a problem its only when we go out we have the problems i dont know whats wrong he feels im not affectionate enough but he wants me hanging off him the whole time we are out but i cant just be with him all night i need to talk to other people to thats the whole reason we go out to socialise

Answer 1

Let's see if I got this right--you both go out together?? What he is complaining about is that you leave him sitting alone and mingle with others?
You say you only get to go out once a month, I'm going to assume your partner also only goes out once a month and you go out together. Together is the main word here. If I go out with my husband I don't mind if he mingles, BUT, I don't want to spend the whole night sitting by myself either. We go out to be together, that means we actually spend time together.
You sound tired. There has to be some way you can relax even when you're at home. Rent a movie, make some popcorn after the little one is in bed the two of you snuggle on the couch and watch tv. You have to make time for each other. Some men start to feel like the baby takes all the love and they get lonely, and cranky too. My hubby and me are always sneaking in hugs and lewd remarks when the kids aren't looking. It's a game.
Can't your sister watch the little one for a few hours and you and your partner go out alone?? How about leaving sis home and going out just the two of you? Spend a night focusing on just each other without someone else intruding.
I can't guess from one paragraph, sounds to me like you two need to talk.

Answer 2

I think he may be suffering from a condition that men can get after their partner has a child. It is because most of your attention was focused on him before the little one came along and now it is mostly focused on your child.
I am not sure on how to deal with this although I think that there may be some resources on the net and some good books about maternity and childcare do cover the subject.
It is something that the two of you will have to work on.

Answer 3

I was married to a guy like this. It only got worse. To the point where he didn't even trust me going to my moms 15 minutes away. I never cheated or even looked at another man. He became abusive and I got divorced. Put your foot down now and if he doesn't shape up, then get out. You'll be miserable. You're still young and should enjoy yourself without worrying about the reprocussions when you get home and how he'll act.

Answer 4

You should be able to go out every now and again without catching crap for it. My ex was the same way. Always acusing me of being with his friends and sneaking around his back. Over a period of time, the verbal abuse became physical. Don't let this get out of hand and don't by any means change yourself to make him happy because these kind of people cannot be made happy no matter what you to try to please them. I hope you have a happier ending that mine. I wound up in the hospital and him in jail. Good luck!

Answer 5

This man is an ABUSER and Controller. I know you don't want your daughter to be without her dad, but do you want to take the chance of her being without her MUM as well? That is the direction I see this going....GET OUT while you can!

Answer 6

I think it is fair that you should go out once in a while.
In my opinion it sounds as though there is something on his mind and he is looking for ways to vent his anger.

Answer 7

im not yet a parent...and it doesnt take one to kbnow that your hubby is obviously insecure of himself... just fill the relationship with love,,, for the marriage's and your baby's sake..