need help help help help?

Question

i lost a baby 4 months ago, i was 5 months pregnant. i am feeling low, i feel like my life has come to an end, my marriage is falling apart just like me. ive been to my docotrs, and he just gives me drugs. can someone help?

Answer 1

Go to see a therapist, and take your husband. I'm really sorry this is happening to you. My mom lost 2 babies before having my sister and me. It really takes a toll on the family. You both need to get your feelings out in a neutral environment. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Hi there, I know how you feel. I lost 2 babies in the span of a year, and it was the most depressing thing I ever went through and I felt the same way that you're feeling right now. I wish that I could say something that would make you feel better.. but I can't. I know from my own experiences, that no one ever said anything that made me feel better. There was nothing anyone could say or do that took the pain away from me. I just needed time.

Join a support group or find a friend that will just listen to you . Cry.. just sit there and cry. Crying does help. And make sure that no one is belittling you for it. You just went through one of the most horrible experiences that a woman can go through. You need time to grieve your loss. You don't need pills, you need to cry it out.

Remember, that you can have another baby.. and this one will be all the more special to you. Good luck. If you need someone to talk to , PM me.. I'll listen.

Answer 3

First of all accept the fact that you are in moorning so is your husband, so sit down and talk about your baby
try to avoid the drug that the doc been giving you if you can
I misc 2 babies much earlier than you lost yours
and I had to take time to grieve, I was lucky enough to have my husband, and we spoil each other
you need to understand that you may have carry this baby but he has dream about it,like you he probably feels pain everytime he sees a child in the street or pregnant woman
I understand that you are in pain but don't turn aways from your marriage, communicate, talk to each other about the pain that refuse to go away,
It will not go away you will live with it until it become easier
just don't get lost in it
my first misc was 2 years ago, I remember last November11
my hus ccome from work around 11 am to tell me it will have been our baby birthday (he thinks it was a girl) that when I realized that while I was letting go he was and no one pay attention to how deep he was hurting
You guys will have other babies, but for now Take care of each other
Try to be a couple again
Live is full of tests, and bump in the road
Take the tests, cross the bump but try to do it together
it is much easier that way
Good Luck

Answer 4

I am truly sorry to hear about your baby.
Talk to a counselor or find some others who have faced the same thing. My sister-in-law lost her baby at 7months in May. It was finally the son that they have been trying for for 20 years. She can no longer have children now. But the best thing you can do is talk about it to your husband and others who have been there. You may not even need the drugs. Get God in your life.
Plant a rose bush or something like that so that you can have a memory of your baby. start a journal. Find a support group. Stop beating yourself up about losing the baby.

Answer 5

I am so sorry about your loss and I feel your pain.I have been there too I lost twins that were 6 months 1 week old in my womb.It totally broke my heart because I prayed for God to give me twins that were boys and i got my wish but i was too sick to carry them to term.it is not easy i know cos months later i was waking up every nite to cry over them.I also started having problems withy my husband cos he was grieving too.
I advice you try to talk to your husband give yourselves time and most of all try and get pregnant again i think that was the only thing that really consoled me the fact that i got pregnant shortly after without expecting it.The fact that a new baby was on the way gave me hope and something to look forward to.
May God grant you the fortitude to bear your loss.

Answer 6

I am so sorry you lost your baby. I have been in your shoes, and it hurts, deep. You are in mourning, and that's okay. I know right now it seems like it will never get better, but I promise you it will. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next week. But it will get better.
Meantime, as much as you dislike the medicine- it does help you face the days until you can see the light at the end. Losing a baby is a challenge for both people, and can tear them apart if they don't get some help. I discovered when we lost our baby that a lot of people seemed to understand my loss, but not my husbands. They would comfort me, and ignore him- even though it was his baby too. We were able to get help through our church, through our priest and through him we met other couples who had lost children for various reasons. They helped us cling to each other and help support each other until we could get through the worst of the pain. Perhaps if you ask at the hospital or social services, or even through a church, they will know of such a group that can help you as well.
I won't tell you that you will ever forget, or that the pain you feel will ever completely go away. You won't. But the pain will dull over time, until you reach a point where you can look at things and put them back in a proper perspective. At this moment in time, you can't just yet. But you will, one day. You will heal.
What helped me, besides the medications for the first bit- was finding something to occupy myself, that didn't allow me to think about myself quite so much. I volunteered at the local hospital, crazy as that sounds. But I was a paramedic, and my skills were useful to them.
My husband and I took off some time to be together at home. We had a nice dinner and a bottle of wine, and shared our mutual misery. We both cried, but we both remembered that we loved one another and wanted the other one to feel better too. Once we realized we were our own best comfort, things did start to improve a lot. With the help of our support group, we did eventually put the pieces back together.
We still have a moment together each year on the anniversary. Elizabeth was not ours for long, we lost her before she drew breath. It still pangs our hearts. But in the years that followed, we did have a family of our own. They never replace the one we lost, never can, and were never intended to. But we now have an ability to cherish them for the precious gifts they are, that I don't think we would have had otherwise.
I wish I had better to offer you than words. All words seem hollow to you now, I know. I can only offer you a means to live until you reach your own peace. I assure you the day will come, and until then, I will wish you peace and remember you in my prayers.

Answer 7

you should go see a councellor together because i loss like this is going to put strain on your marriage i kn ow you probably dont want to but the best thing to do is talk about it together let each other know how you are feeling! im so sorry you had to go through that and when you feel well and fit enough again you can try for another baby! it will get better dont worry it doesnt always seem like it but it does theres always a light at the end of a tunnel! but go seek proffessional help for both of you you need to do it together you need each other! take care xx

Answer 8

i am sorry that you lost your baby. i know that is a really hard thing to go through.

it sounds to me that in order for you to begin to feel better and accept the fact that you have lost a baby, you need to go to someone profession to talk to. maybe not your doctor. how about a nurse practitioner, or a counceller at a womens center? those are people who will listen to you and try to help your bad feelings go away. if you are willing to spend more money maybe you should call a therapist who you can talk to weekly about what you have been through.

Answer 9

Aw babe, stay strong. Let your husband know how you are feeling and how much you love him and how you want your marriage to work. Remember that your baby is looking down on you from heaven. All I can say is stay strong and look forward to the positive and simple things in life. Plus I would say try and stay off the drugs your Dr is giving you. Good Luck <3

Answer 10

I'm so sorry for your loss. If your doctor's solution is drugs and you don't agree w/ it then maybe you should ask for a referral, to a psychologist/psychiatrist and seek out a marriage counselor as well. You can normally find marriage counseling w/in your church, if any.