well i got a internet lover, we talked and stuff for 8 months and got together and planned to meet. after month he got me and his ex wife friends i felt uncomfortable, she has a big part in his life with 3 kids. All she did when we talked was ***** about him, money everything i ended up hating her. then me and my partner talked about marriage, kids just talk?? as they was friends he talked to her about me all the time and she was like if you marry her behind my back u wont see ur kids and then everything we talked about he told her!! she changed his mind and i got mad?? One time he said were ever she moves to we will have to follow for the kids i felt like the third wheel. she suggested the kids come with him to when we meet and he agreed, she has a partner for two yrs whom she cheated on with when she was with this guy i talk to. should i dump him as i cant live like this?? or be a shadow and let his ex get all her way?? or am i being stupid
2006-10-10 21:05:09 · 18 answers · asked by mandy b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
personally honey i wuold ditch him he sounds spineless and trust me no man is that close to his ex i would be suspicious of anyone who behaves in that way. can understand he wants to see his kids but shes a total cow threatening him like that, its none of her business and she should keep the hell outta it. and if hes not telling her to keep out of it then hes not worth it, get someone who is worth your time. You are worth more than that.xxxxxxx good luck
2006-10-10 21:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by caroline17nov 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him he's using you to make her jealous. They obviously still have feelings for one another. Besides if they have kids together if you two ever got married you'd never get rid of the ex. But sometimes it doesn't hurt to listen to what the ex's say. They've been in the relationship and although it sounds harsh probably alot of the things said are true whether you want to believe them or not.
2006-10-11 04:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi there, i feel sorry for you, you obviously really like this guy. If it was me, i would call it aday. The man has kids he is always going to follow and obey his ex so she doesnt take the kids off him. he sounds like a good father. You will ALWAYS be the third wheel, i cant see his ex ever letting you to settle down. I would put the ball in his court. I would say, i really love you (like) i really want to make ago of things and i respect you have children, but i need to focus on my future, i want us to be together and some day have our own children (if thats what you want), but having your ex control your life is making things hard. Either go to court and apply for custody of the kids even if you get them for the weekends, or start putting your foot down on your ex and tell her where it stands. or im leaving............ I know its blunt but there is no other way to deal with this sort of situation. He loves his children so much that he will do as he is told. for a women to use her kids against the father to get what she wants is a disgrace,. i really hope it all works out for you. take care
2006-10-11 04:15:32 · answer #3 · answered by chicken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a bit complicated and if its going to cause arguments all the time then i think you should both talk about the situation, let him know how you feel and if he realy loves you e will try and work to please you and his kids. His wife sounds like a very selfish person she is the one causing the problems. If you both realy want this relationship to work it will but if one person is not willing to compromise then i dont think this relationship will work. I think the best thing to do tho is get advise from others but only listen to your head whatever ur head is telling you thats what u should go for.
2006-10-11 04:38:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOA,WOA THERE,my goodness what a complicated life you are having at the moment--he,she,they,kids,me,her,him,us,them,we,that guy,this girl-bloody hell your post is such a blur of words-and non of it relevant,at all,,,tell you what-just leave town and go up in the hills for a day or two,clear your mind,get some fresh air,take some time out just for YOU--you are not being stupid dear,but i really dunno how you manage put up with all this crap,and you DON'T have to live like this,you are right-its FAR too complicated,so just leave...best thing you could do.
2006-10-11 18:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same situation myself and i have to say that i only stayed in that situation because i loved him and i thought that he loved me.
We was together for 5 months before he finished it with me because he could not handle the hassle that he was receiving.
9 weeks on and i am relieved that i am out of it, I have met someone new and it feels so much more relaxed and calm that we are enable to enjoy being with one another.
I think personally all the time that the ex wont leave him alone you will never really have the chance to enjoy your rel.
I think that you could be happier with someone that wants to be with you and enjoys being with you.
It says great volumes when his ex can still influence him in changing his mind when he has decided on what he wants to do.
you have to do what you feel is best for you. listen to your heart, enjoy your man!
good luck
2006-10-11 05:16:28 · answer #6 · answered by blondegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to have doubts about this relationship. OK so he has kids with his ex, but he's so close to her and daren't do anything without her say-so.
I would dump him and find someone closer to home - not on the Internet - for a better relationship without baggage!!
2006-10-11 07:59:18 · answer #7 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need someone you is going to put you first in their life not matter what baggage they have from the past. Tell him he either gives you the attention you deserve or you will leave, that should buck his ideas up and make him realise what he could lose, if it doesnt then he isnt worth having!
2006-10-11 04:40:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him he is a first rate tw*t!!!
I have two kids myself and cant see how he can have a relationship like that with his ex.There must still be something there between them!!
I cant stand my ex, she has turned into a nasty piece of work hell bent on cleaning me out!!!!
2006-10-11 04:12:18 · answer #9 · answered by HIMSELF 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. He is using you. His ex probably has been used by him as well. Dont become an abused woman. He wont change
You must become the boss of your own emotions
2006-10-11 04:16:51 · answer #10 · answered by Joanna M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋