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I have a friend that's been depress lately, her boyfriend broke up with her about a year ago. She mention to me that she can't still forget about him, that she's still in love. Due to the depression she also mention that she might cut herself or do drugs to relieve the pain, she's done this things before but she stopped. Am afraid that because of the depression she'll really start doing it again!. What is some good advice I can give her???...

2006-10-10 19:42:14 · 10 answers · asked by TepG 2 in Family & Relationships Friends

10 answers

Well well my dear, its great to have a friend like you. Love to have you as my friend. The first thing you need to do to help your friend is to talk to her and get her to express herself completely, coz the more she talks about him you get to understand her feelings for him. You need to convince her that what has happened is for her best. Try to make her understand that its is not the end of the world and that her best guy is yet to come. Make her understand that even if he comes back to her, life is not going to be a bed of roses, she will still have lingering doubts and feeling of insecurity that he may leave her again. So ask her not to isolate herself rather be happy and assure her of your support. Tell her that inflicting pain on oneself is causing her only harm and discomfort. Whatever she does, even if she kills herself, that dumb guy is not going to come back . Last of all tell her that life is a gift given by God and is precious and what we do with our lives matter a lot. My prayers are there for you and your friend. Take care.

2006-10-10 20:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by Cutie 2 · 1 0

First thing that your friend needs to do is divert the attention towards something that will help her forget the pain. Basically right now it seems that her mind is occupied with those negative thoughts only (probably because there is nothing +ve to think about). I am not sure if your friend is still studying/doing job/not doing much (idle most of the time). If she is idle then that needs to be changed very fast, whatever she is doing its probably something that she is not interested in. You can advice her to do something that really interests her and that will help divert her mind.
Tell her not to forget that there are people around who suffer from far great stress and problems and yet they don't give up. That she should thankful for what she is instead of getting depressed for some boy who was not meant for her.
According to me positive thing about her is that she is not as weak as it seems. The fact that she started drugs and came out of that suggest that she still has the mental strength to come over the sorrow. Just that energy in her need to be channelized..

2006-10-11 05:03:08 · answer #2 · answered by Ra 1 · 0 0

I have depression. Just want you to know that before you read what I say.

For the most part, people who talk about how they're going to kill themselves would have done it already (you don't tell someone you're going to do it if you really plan to, because they will do anything to try to stop you.) However, if she's done it before, and you're honestly concerned she could do it again, you have to get her help.

Unfortunately, "getting her help" is more easily said than done, and it will require you to treat her in a way you wouldn't normally want to. She's not making good decisions for herself, so basically, you (and anyone else in her life who cares for her) have to force the good decisions on her. This means you may have to keep her on watch with not much independance, get her to a doctor to get meds and then, like a child, watch her take them, and remove from her reach anything that she could use to hurt herself. If all this is too overwhelming, and you really think she might try to commit suicide, you're obligated to call 911. At that point, she's a threat to herself and others, and is not thinking clearly. They can get her in a behavioral health center for treatment. In these cases, taking someone's freedom away temporarily is necessary to save their lives.

What strikes me the most, though, is that you're looking for advice to give her. Since you're not a professional, she needs to see one. As her friend, you need to be there for her. Use any means necessary to stop her from wanting to kill herself.

Using guilt to stop someone from committing suicide is hard to do sometimes, but it can be effective, depending on her personality type. Let her know that if she chooses to take her own life, she will be inadvertantly causing you and the people she loves (and mention them by name) immense pain. Typically, if someone is going to commit suicide, they are convinced the world would be a better place if they were gone, and that no one would miss them. Let her know in no uncertain terms that you will miss her A LOT.

Another strategy is to do a chain of events. She kills herself because she can't live without ex-boyfriend guy. You kill yourself because you can't live without her. Your mother kills herself because she can't live without you. Where does it end?

This is in extreme cases. Regardless, she needs to talk to a mental health professional, because this is too deep for even the most caring of friends to deal with.

Good luck.

2006-10-11 03:04:39 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0 0

Its good to be concerned about ur frnd. U can take her to various places she enjoyed going to n make her live life to the best. Talk to her n tell her that he was not worth n that its fate n no1 can change it. Tell her that life has to go on n there r lots of other people who love her n that she will surely find another guy who will love her even more. Keep her busy all the time for her not to think of the gone.

2006-10-11 02:49:01 · answer #4 · answered by Lovlyn 2 · 0 0

there are many fish in the sea,come on get over it tell her she'll find a guy whose probably better that her so so ex boyfriend.

2006-10-11 02:46:50 · answer #5 · answered by pepper 1 · 0 0

talk to your friend. remember we can only influence but shes still the master of her own self., you have done your part. if she want it then let her do it...in the end she will realize that you are correct.

2006-10-11 02:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by star 2 · 0 0

just make sure that you are always there for her when she needs you. whatever you do, don't pressure her. Just make sure that you are a friend. and i don't know about how you feel about religion and all, but i would also say for you to pray for her.

2006-10-11 02:52:47 · answer #7 · answered by Confused & Young 4 · 0 0

she needs to get out and remember how good life can be....as a friend encourage her to socialise if you so not notice a change in her then i suggest you talk to her parents.......

2006-10-11 02:45:04 · answer #8 · answered by askaway 6 · 0 0

just be at her side... listen to her... take her out of her room...
go bungee jumping...

2006-10-11 03:22:57 · answer #9 · answered by toni 2 · 0 0

take her to see a christian counselor
that should help her....
please do not wste anymore time...

2006-10-11 02:44:47 · answer #10 · answered by DonnyD 3 · 0 1

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