I know this was asked befor but do you or have you ever discussed your spouses sexually history? Age 36 and I've been with 2 women and my wife (35) has been with 8 men. She says she feels like a "slu*t" now because she has been with many more partners then I. Sexually she is kind of prude. Is this because she is trying to not show me the she has experiance? Is it wrong to talk about her experiances (sexuallly)? I think i would like to know what she has done sexually. Would you want to know or tell your partner?
2006-10-10 19:10:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Her history does turn me on in a strange way.I dont know why? I would love to know more about her...
2006-10-10 19:19:12 · update #1
It's not a issue for me as much as it is for her. I dont understand why...
2006-10-10 19:37:20 · update #2
yes, my partner and I have discussed our past partners, depends on the relationship. Find the strength in the knowledge and know that you are the one who pleases her now. You find it exciting possibly in a level that you are the big stud now :)
Keep your communication open and understand that you both are loyal and have a low amount of partners.
Focus on communicating how to please her now, ask her how :)
The more you know how to please her, the more secure you will feel. She may seem like a prude because she hasn't had a good partner up until you, keep finding ways to ring her bell and she will be raving .........!
The past is the past!
2006-10-10 19:42:42 · answer #1 · answered by Keanu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should ask.
She apparently feels embarrassed or ashamed of her past sexual partners, and asking her to go into detail just to satisfy your curiosity would be difficult for her.
I doubt prudish behavior is put on to camoflauge sexual experience. If she's in her thirties, it could be that she had sex with past fairly long-term boyfriends (as in, it doesn't necessarily mean she just hopped in the sack with random guys), and even a shy or "prudish" person can have sex if in a committed relationship.
I already know that I don't want to know. That could be just opening a whole can of worms, because you might find out some things you don't really want to know.
The only legitimate reason you have to ask her any questions about her sexual history is in terms of STD risk. Other than that, unless you're both comfortable with talking about it and secure enough to deal with anything that is said, you should try to just let the issue go.
2006-10-11 02:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a chat with my partner about this. I found out some things I didn't like that he'd but we talked it through and it turned out ok. I would rather hear it from him and deal with it than hear something from a stranger. I have slept with more people than my partner and neither of us care. Why should we? What you do in your past, makes you who you are today. You have to accept people for who they are. I think it's good to be totally open as it builds trust in the relationship. Explain why you'd like to know and make it clear that you will not judge her in any way and make sure you don't. If you feel you will, don't ask.
2006-10-11 02:14:13 · answer #3 · answered by Seahorse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is healthy to be able to discuss anything in a solid ,good,trusting relationship.
If you or she do not feel comfortable discussing such things,then you need to ask why.It is normal curiosity to want to know.
Explain to her it does not bother you,and she should not feel bad about it.People have more than others,and that's what makes them different.
If you or your partner do not feel comfortable ,or cannot be honest with one another.Then how can you trust each other.
If a person is not mature enough to discuss such things,then they should not be in a relationship.
When you marry or have a relationship,you except everything about that person.If you don't it won't last,and you will end up hurting you and your partner.You can't choose what you want to except about that person and what not to except.It's all or nothing,and to think you can is just selfish.And you can't change the past,so deal with it.It's part of life and love.
Good luck to you and your wife,remember be honest,and respectful.
2006-10-11 02:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by seandebra17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think its very important to know your partners history. I think she feels that if she shows you that she is sexually experienced you would think other wise of her. She doesn't want to take away your man-hood/ male pride. But talk to her & tell her how you feel & you might not be happy with the fact that she has been with more people than you. You must use it to your advantage! Good Luck!!!
2006-10-11 02:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by DEE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont ask and don't tell, beyond the necessary info needed to know to maintain good health. It's nice to know there's this one little mystery that will always exist. Even when we're old and wrinkly...I'll never know and he'll always wonder. If it's a good relationship, and one that lasts a lifetime, it's enough for me to know that every relationship before me just laid the path to this one.
2006-10-11 02:22:25 · answer #6 · answered by Angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 at age 35 doesn't sound like a slut to me. Most people by that age that are not married have many more than that.
2006-10-11 02:18:37 · answer #7 · answered by Flip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why I'm happy my wife and I were both virgins at our wedding night. We didn't have any sexual partners and I don't have to worry about any history concerning them.
2006-10-11 02:13:43 · answer #8 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been asked how many woman I've been with by some of my ex's, and it only causes problems. I don't believe it matters on HOW MANY rather WHO WERE THEY and if protection was used. Who cares how many. The point is they are with you now.
2006-10-11 02:22:49 · answer #9 · answered by lifescircle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you both have a normal sex partner number between both of you maybe a little more or less than normal i don't know for sure but it's hardly enough to make her sound like permiscuious woman
2006-10-11 02:15:12 · answer #10 · answered by keoni_21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋