Marriage - to be or not to be?

Question

My partner and I have been together nearly a year and a half. We went out for lunch with some friends last week and the subject of marriage came up. My partner stated that he never wants to get married as it affects a relationship and it would interfere with his business. The main thing I want in life is to buy a house (with or without someone), get married and have children, but it is long on the cards yet.
Since he has sed this, i find i am disliking his company.

Should I stay or should I go??

and he never puts out :)

Answer 1

Easy answer........GO....couples have to have the same goals in mind, otherwise there will be conflict and in the long run contempt. It is fine to know what you want & find your happiness, but he doesn't have the same feelings (not even in the bedroom)......how could it possibly work?

Answer 2

It perhaps was not good timing, however the cat is now out of the bag. You and he have different views of your relationship and where you want it to go. It is major rift and is impacting the emotional aspects of your relationship as well. His reasons for not wanting to get married mainly has to do with him and has nothing to do with you. If you got married, you would not be on the front burner of his life.

I would leave, go so as to avoid the awful heartbreak that you would feel finding out that marrying him would not be good for you or for him.

Marriage is a wonderful institution unless you make the wrong choice. The unrelenting cynic will tell you that love is temporary insanity cured by marriage. I wish you the best that life has to offer you.

Answer 3

I think you should tell him what you want and if he is not willing to commit go your seperate ways. I honestly do think it is an exuse aswell, he should want to commit to you especially when yous have been together for a year and a half. It sounds to me like he wants to have the fun life and be basiclly a career man, which is different to what you want. Things might change in a couple years time but the key word there is MIGHT and do you wanna waste your time waiting to see what might happen.. Also when it comes to communication with you and him yous both just cant talk to each other. Its crazy, It is like your relatioship together is more habit than actually still wanting it, but that seems more on his part i think. I honestly think he is with you still because thats what he is used to. And he does his own thing anyway so its like not even having a girlfriend to him.

Answer 4

Well, he at least in my opinion, is not for you. You could be with someone for 10 years and realize he/she is not for you so thank God its early. First I would talk to him and ask him why he doesnt want this or that, that you eventually do want. Especially because you're not enjoying his company, it might mean that you realized subconciously that he is not right for you. I just got engaged about 4 months ago, and its still going perfect. We want to be out of college before we get married so we have about one year but our entire relationship is built on love. If you dont feel like this is the only person, the ONLY PERSON, you could ever spend the rest of your life with, there is a 100% guarantee that there is someone out there better for you. Dont waste years of your life, find the right person!!!!!!!

Answer 5

"True marriage is based upon recognition of the individuality of both husband and wife which brings voluntary, not compelled, co-operation in all the departments of family life. Only when souls, flowing together, acting as one, distinct in individuality, but united in their action are thus mated, are the psycho-physiological laws met and satisfied.

When husband and wife come to know the soul of the other in its perfectness, on then knows love and to honor. The love and loyalty pledged on the wedding day are nothing as compared to the love and loyalty of an open vision. The abiding happiness fulfills the promise of the past."

In peace and reverence marriage becomes a holy bond of matrimony. Each bears to the other a noble allegiance, not as a fetter but as a garland."

Answer 6

If i were you, I will exit myself in that relationship. If he never wanted to get married then what's the use of that relationship. I think what he wanted is just mere companionship but without commitment. And I think its so unfair for you, who i feel wanted some commitment. If he doesn't want to commit then he's just playing around with you. Why suffer for a longer time, get out and enjoy with your friends and eventually you'll find that there's alot more life without him. Somebody must be born for you. Just pray.

Answer 7

He's using his business as an excuse. Unless he's People Magazine's Hottest Bachelor and he wants to keep that status, htere's no reason it would effect his business. In fact, some people get married sooner than they planned because of insurance and such.

Don't waste another year and a half.

Answer 8

This relationship is going nowhere. Ask him directly if he ever wants to get married because if he doesn't and you do...then you're in a conflict which will cause you both great emotional damage. Leave him if he doesnt' want to be committed to the person that he loves.

Answer 9

You both have different goals in life and unless one or the other is willing to compromise your relationship can't work. You can't force someone to want the same things are you do so unless you're ready to give up your dreams, end the relationship and find someone else.

Answer 10

I don't think you should stay with him, as you would like to get married some day, and he dosen't want to at all. Also, how emotionally available is he if he says that being married would interfere with his business?