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my best friend found out a few months ago that her 15 year old daughter had sex. she was very hurt by this. i love her daughter as my own and she is very close to me and confides in me. well, she told me she had sex again last week (she told me the same day) and i have been thinking hard of should i tell her mom. well, i told her tonight and i feel like i am betraying the daughter. but i know it was probably the right thing to do. tell me do you think i did the right thing or should i not have betrayed her daughter?

2006-10-10 18:05:30 · 14 answers · asked by malibu29130 4 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

i told her mom to not tell her i said this. i trust she won't. and yes i am so worried of her getting pregnant or a disease because she is having unprotected sex.

2006-10-10 18:11:34 · update #1

14 answers

Of course you did the right thing. If I was the parent, I would like to know if my daughter is having sex or not. Also what you should do is try to advise her by using a condom because there are diseases out there that can ruin her life. Also having a baby isn't so easy not in these days. I'm 19 and I have 2 month old daughter and it wasn't what I expected. Try to help her. So don't worry about telling her mom (your best friend). Also it's a good thing tha tyou told your best friend not to tell her daugther that you told her because if her daugther found out that you told your friend, than maybe she won't trust you anymore and won't tell you anything anymore.
That's what friends are for. You're doing a great job by telling your friend. I'm proud of you.

2006-10-10 18:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by jigenlo 3 · 0 0

The additional detail convinced me. You did the right thing. The betrayal issue aside, unprotected sex in this day and age is sheer Lunacy! With that info, I'd say you'd have been betraying the girl by NOT telling her mother about it. You might just have saved the girl's life. I understand the qualms about betrayal of trust, but it's little different than if she swore you to secrecy then admitted to a love for playing russian roulette with a loaded '45.

2006-10-11 01:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You did the right thing. Even though the daughter will feel betrayed. Someday- she will understand why you did it. Yes, your friend will greatly appreciate your openness. If it did not come out now, it would eventially. So at least your being honest with your friend. Your friend will know that you a true and honest and are looking at the best interest in the teen. A lot of times, teens are seeking advice and help and are to scared to go directly to their parent. It is a compliment to you, that she felt comfortable talking with you. When she makes comments to you, just let her know that you care for her very much and are concerned for her. Let her know that you do think of her as a daughter and want the best for her. Let her know that your still there if needed. I comend you for your honesty to your friend.

2006-10-11 01:14:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

She trusted you enough to tell you this and you went behind her back and told her mother. If she wanted her mother to know, she would have told her. If she is like a daughter YOU should have given her "motherly" advice. Granted she should not be having unprotected sex or ANY for that matter, but you shouldn't have told her mom. She most likely told you to get advice, not so you'd tell her mom

2006-10-11 01:17:45 · answer #4 · answered by KS 2 · 0 0

as her mothers friend, yes you did the right thing. Your the adult right. children don't always like what we do because they haven't yet experienced the consequences of all their actions.They forget we were once their age too. Only diff is we know full well the outcome. So don't worry so much about how the daughter will feel if she finds out you told, just remember they eventually grow up and learn the same lessons and one day she maybe be grateful. don't fret.

2006-10-11 01:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by peachy 2 · 0 0

I hope the mom, even though hurt, was proactive about her daughter's health after she found out she was sexually active... is the girl on birth control? did you do right? probably cept that you may have permanently damaged your relationship with the teen and people teens can confide in are precious to them... if I were in your position, I woulda told the kid that I was going to share the info with mom... let her be prepared at least... but that horse is already out of the barn

2006-10-11 01:11:43 · answer #6 · answered by dornalune 2 · 0 0

Yes you did with any luck the mother can talk to her daughter and convince her to stop or at the least get her daughter to practice safe sex.You may have helped to save this little girl from ruining her young life.

2006-10-11 01:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by Robert H 1 · 0 0

I don't think you should have betrayed her trust. You should have told her how she should not be sexually active right now and that she should be talking to her mom about things like this.

When she finds out you told on her, she's not going to tell you anything anymore.

2006-10-11 01:07:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You are in a dilema. Just ask yourself where your loyalties lie. Would you rather not tell your friend and have her daughter get pregnant at an early age and ruin her life forever?

2006-10-11 01:08:14 · answer #9 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 0 0

Sex with a minor is a crime. She will feel more cared for because you did it. Girls who lash out and do it are looking for someone to care for them. I did. I wish someone had told my mom, looking back. I was a victim of statutory rape at least a dozen times, and none of it was ever fulfilling. I didn't even know what I was doing. Please help her! She will love you when it's all over.

2006-10-11 01:09:35 · answer #10 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 0 0

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