How can I avoid becoming attatched to people?

Question

It is possible to love people and be detatched from them, but how? I get very attatched to people and seem to care about people a lot more than they care about me. This includes everyone from friends, aquaintances, family, everyone. I remember everyone's birthday, am considered the sweetie, go out of my way to do nice things for people (I love it!), but then I guess expect the same to come back around to me, maybe not in the same magnitude, but I can't escape the feeling that I just want too much from people. I seem to be maybe too needy or to wanting of something. I don't know what it is but I know I have been trying to figure out detatchment and right when I thought I had it down someone let me down even further than I expected.
How can I keep myself grounded and real? What is the appropriate way to care for someone?
I practice compassion and love for my fellow human being every day, but I get attatched to everyone. That's bad. Help.

Answer 1

You are ok, being friendly is ok. But you just need to practice
learning to LET GO....... You can't hang on to people or things.
This life on earth is a short one....so Jesus said not to get to
attatched to anything. Worldly things. I used to be needy too. But
I'm not anymore cause Iv'e worked on myself alot.......I write in a
journal all my feelings, then re-read it, maybe save it for a little bit
then just throw it away. Believe me, by throwing out the papers
you will get used to letting things ..go. Try and find peace within
yourself. Everything that matters.....is in YOU. Not out there......
AND, stop trying to please everyone, you can't. You can only be
a light....

Answer 2

Girl nothing is Wrong with you, I bet you just get Used by people cause you are kind, it is OK to Give, but to Give is a good thing but not expecting anything in return..sounds like you really don't have real friends, so maybe you need to just relax, and give to the needy, like send A few $$$ to a child that you can adopt, from African, etc. Go visit the Older people in rest homes, they would love the attention you have to offer...so just give to people that need your Love, this way you will be able to give with all your heart...and feel good about yourself, and you will be Blessed too by God...for giving

Answer 3

I mean this in compassion, but it is the "needy" part that sounds like the key. I get the picture that you're giving with the need to have it returned. The need to be loved is present in all of us who're human. But it can become an overpowering need. I don't know if it's the case with you, but it's usually a sign that someone is seeking approval from others, rather than approving of themselves. That leaves one completely vulnerable to even mild rebukes. The way I overcame this in myself is to see things I don't like in myself and defeat them like I would any enemy. Avoiding conflict, I studied Karate. Fear of heights, I began rock climbing/sky diving. Boats: I'm a certified scuba diver. (all prequel to a millitary career, but they were achivements in themselves) It gives one confidence that they can handle what fate throws at them, and an incredible sense of accomplishment, hence sense of worth.

Answer 4

ask urself whether u do all of this sincerely or not girl....of course every people in this world do anything in order to get the return..but u see, dont put a high expectaton to something that u cant guarenteed it to be the way u want it to be...sometimes u need to slow down on what u r doing coz if u dont,ppl may thought that ur appreciation is not special to them....dont put too much effort on comforting ppl coz u will not be able to get 100% from what u have given to them....how to stay grounded??wll...just be nice...slow down....n do eveything sincerely n tell urself that u r not doing all of these thing to get a return n u will not able to get one...before u become more frustrated with what other people do to u,,pls act like normal people k......do like what they do to u...
gud luck k.....!

Answer 5

I have felt the same way about my husband's mom & friends I have had. It's not bad at all to be like you are, the problem is (that I have learned) is that I have to STOP expecting people to reciprocate. If I do something for a person & do it because I want to,( nobody has been able to find a way to get me to do something I do NOT want to do..HA HA HA!!! ) Then, I expect them to appreciate it. I don't consider myself needy, it's just that when someone does something for me, especially when they go out their way, I APPRECIATE IT!!! & I THANK THAT PERSON FOT THEIR THOUGHTFULNESS!!! I guess our problem is is we expect too much from people. I guess we should just set our sights lower. Not expect people to be anything they aren't...
Sad isn't it when a simple THANK YOU is too much work for people................

Answer 6

You may want to seek professional help, because this is form of excessive behavior..No you aren't crazy , but there are ways that you can stop this and their a trained individuals who can help, I know because i am the same way..A constant giver not because i have to but because i want to, and when I don't get the same in return it hurts...Talk to someone you won't believe the results you get.. Good Luck!

Answer 7

There really is nothing wrong with being attached to people as long as you are also able to let them go. It is wonderful to do nice things for people. It isnt so nice to feel under appreciated. You should talk to your close friends and family, tell them when you feel under appreciated and the people that truly love you will be more considerate of your feelings. You need to be careful people are not taking advantage of you though. Be certain to continue to be nice to people, but don;t financially go out of your way to please people.

Answer 8

well there is nothing wrong with you and it' not really a bad thing. i wish i could become attached to people but i push them away before i get the chance. so maybe we should sit down and talk and teach eachother a few things. lol.

Answer 9

theres no way for u 2 change u have a big heart dont ever change they dont make people like u anymore