My boyfriend claims a daughter that is not his biologically. His ex-girlfriend raised the daughter by having her believe that my boyfriend is her dad. Its been hard for me to deal with but i knew this before going into the relationship. He is a great dad to her and she is blessed to have him since her mom is not very stable. At times I'm uncomfortable because I feel like he will never have a family with me. I hate the jealous side of me because it is not the child's fault and she is a good girl. Some of my friends admire him for this and other people think its wrong.
There is nothing wrong for raising a child that is not yours if the ex has moved on?
2006-10-10 17:44:49 · 17 answers · asked by m_harvery 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I also would like to add that he is aware the child is not his. He dated the mother when the child was a baby and from that moment the mother had the child call him daddy. The mother is now married and he is cordial with the ex. I mean he speaks with her regarding the child and he has accompanied her on school outings with the child. The child and
I get along but its hard for me. My boyfriend and I were engaged before but this was one of the reasons why the wedding was called off. It was a new relationship for me and I didn't think I could deal with it. I love my boyfriend deeply and I want our relationship to work. I get jealous at times because I don't know if i can have children of my own. I'm trying real hard to be accepting of this relationship and its been difficult. I thank you all for your answers and its helping me to grow up. He loves children so much and I know that if we have a child together he will be a great dad.
2006-10-10 18:02:20 · update #1
thank you very much to everyone who responded. You have given me great insight.
2006-10-10 19:10:04 · update #2
If he is the only father the little girl knows, and he is helping raise this little girl and being there for her regardless of whether he is her father biologically is incredible. There is not many men out there that would do that. Just because the relationship ended with his ex-girlfriend, doesn't mean that his relationship should end with this little girl who he is the only father she knows. I do think that you should admire him for doing what is right. You are right; it is not the little girl's fault, and I would assume he is only trying to do what is right for her. I think it's only normal for you to feel a little jealous, so don't feel bad about that, your only human. The important thing is just to remember that he is in a relationship with you and this little girl, not his ex. Be supportive of his decision, and grateful that you have found a dedicated boyfriend that is willing to continue being a father to this little girl and if you do eventually start a family with your boyfriend make sure that the girl doesn't feel left out. You can truly make the best of this situation if you have a positive outlook to the situation. Good luck.
2006-10-10 18:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by me_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not only O.K. but I agree with those who say it's admirable. I'd say that it's a POSTIVE sign of his ability to have a family with you. It's proof positive that he's a father. (being a father is an attitude more than an accident of conception) If he cares that much for a child not his own by biology, think how he's going to approach parenting of his own children. It shows that he takes fatherhood seriously. Ask yourself this: If the daughter WERE his biologically, what would change? I don't mean it in a mean way, but it may be that your in conflict with his having continuing relations with an ex. It's not the first time the issue has ruined a relationship, so don't think I'm picking on ya.
2006-10-10 20:03:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with it, my husband does the same thing, but i feel like if you are asking bc in the back of your mind you might have a problem with it, a child is a huge responsibility and even though they are a blessing I'm not gonna lie at times can be VERY trying on a relationship. the real question here isn't is it wrong for him to raise this child the question is can you raise this child bc that is pretty much what you are going to help do if you stay in this mans life and only you can answer that!
2006-10-10 17:52:38 · answer #3 · answered by rachelhaggerty82 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me this man is a keeper. Just as long as the relationship is strictly with the girl and not the mother. If he loves the child like a daughter he cant simply just forget about her. It is natural to feel funny because it is a little weird, but imagine what a good father he'd be if you had kids and I'm sure he wants more. He is a good mature man
2006-10-10 17:52:11 · answer #4 · answered by kristina n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm rather sorry on your loss. in the experience that your BF is listed on the delivery certificates using fact the father, then confident. From the IRS information superhighway internet site: newborn born alive. you're able to declare an exemption for a newborn who replaced into born alive in the process the 12 months, whether the newborn lived purely for a 2d. State or community regulation ought to manage the newborn as having been born alive. There must be evidence of a stay delivery shown by making use of an genuine rfile, which comprise a delivery certificates. the newborn must be your qualifying newborn or qualifying relative, and all the different tests to declare an exemption for a based must be met.
2016-10-19 04:39:15 · answer #5 · answered by connely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am married to a man who has step-children(he calls them) from two different women that he used to date a while ago. I wasnt cool with it at first but then I thought about it... He took care of these children and treated them like his own.. I have a 3 year old from a previous relationship and he takes good care of her and I thought if we ever parted i would love for him to still be in her life as a role model... that is unless I found a man. It doesnt mean that if the ex is still around that he has to have a relationship with her.
2006-10-10 18:01:01 · answer #6 · answered by *SexXyLuV* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That little girl only knows him to be here father so why should he take that father figure away if he already has a good connection with this little girl. You should be happy that you have a good man cause most men dont take care of their own biological kids.
Dont be jealous hes doing whats right for the sake of the little girl.
2006-10-10 17:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will it depends. If he claims a child and it's not his than he better watch out because if the real biological parents find out about it, then he can be put to jail for kidnapping.
If he Claims a child were the real parents passed away or something like that, than it'll be ok. that means he's helping the child be adopting.
2006-10-10 17:49:21 · answer #8 · answered by jigenlo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did state the mother is not stable ,every child deserves to have stability and love even if not from family,a girl needs her father and everyone knows a father and daddy are two seperate issues,sometimes the best daddies aren't are fathers.,but men that come along early in our lives and love us enough to stay no matter what,and we're better for it.Also think if this man is this thoughtful to do this for one not his how lucky and secure yours is going to be if you have one by him?
2006-10-10 17:52:15 · answer #9 · answered by juscause 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the man some credit for taking care of a child that isnt his! alot of children would love to have someone like him! this man deserves a award for being able to do something like this!
2006-10-10 17:47:28 · answer #10 · answered by rebelicious_angel228 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋