I love my husband verymuch, but when I met his friend ( let's call him Ben ) i can't stop thinking of him. Someday I can't help my self, I told my feeling to Ben, supprisingly, he love me too. We often mets, while my husband not around. I feels so guilty, but I can't control my feeling. Then My Husband realized that something going on between me and Ben. He ask me to choose between him or Ben. I Can't I love them both. I want them both in my life. Nor my husband or Ban won't let me go too. One day, Ben personaly ask my husband to marry me. It's a shocking. My husband so angry with this, but several days later he met Ben again, they talk for so long, then they called me. My husband said that he finally understand the love between me and Ben, but he won't let me go ( neither do I ), he offer us to try a polyandry as long as we don't have sex in front of him. We'll stay together. Truly, I want it very much, and Ben wa agree as well. Please give me advise how to manage this relationship
2006-10-10 17:40:03 · 21 answers · asked by Maggie T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
u suk
2006-10-10 17:42:06 · answer #1 · answered by hookiejr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a marvellous opportunity to go find some island and establish a community where polyandry and matrinlineal sociey is the norm. You ought to make a new reality tv show about it, and while you're at it, do a web site and a book on it.
Heck, you could even do a fashion line of clothing, condoms, birth control pills, and accessories.
So what are your views on raising children? And would you keep your men in some kind of male harem quarters? Would they be allowed to bring home other sex partners? I guess at some point you'll have to explain this to the kids.
2006-10-11 00:51:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to love two people at the same time. You will have to take turns with each husband. Some people may not agree, but you can have a happy life as long as the rules are followed. No sex in front of the other are things like that you know. I commend your husband for being a big enough man to understand your feelings. good luck to you all.
2006-10-11 00:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by konala 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its possible to love two ppl
its possible to have lust for two ppl
its possible to love one and lust for the other
we are designed to like variety,
and get bored with the same person we are with for years.
thats where the promise comes in
to hold back from straying
or
as i believe
you can have a open relationship
or a restricted open relationship
just you three
but outwardly
as it appears to society
most of us in open relationships have one to love
and others to have sex with
we can love them as freinds
love them as special friends
love them for the great sex they bring
our society dont easly accept open relationships that are out in the open!!
unless you live in los angeles
so keep them both for now
mormons have several wives
so why cant women have several husbands
again
only in los angeles (maybe other places too?)
but expect pressure to choose one
not just from them
expect pressure from society
unless you can blow the whole world off
investigate open relationships and ask how they do it?
but whats unfair to your husband is, this is not what he signed up for
my fiancee and i are in an open relationship
but we both know this from the start
im not surprising her
she is not surprising me
talk to husband like your discussing that you have learned a new life style
and be fair to him
he didnt want this when he married you
you may let one go as you realize some one is getting hurt
more than he can handle
my fiancee and are not hurt at all by being in an open relationship
we benefit greatly from this
and i love her tremendously
and she s crazy about me too!
we are guenuinly in love
but thats for me and her.
stay with both,
for now
but think about what you gotta do.
cause its not gonna last if you 3 dont come to an agreement
kids?
whose kids will you have a few years from now
dont just let the cards fall!
P.S. mormons with several wives
each have an assigned night
you can have husband one night
and go to sleep with ben the next night and alterntate this way
2006-10-11 01:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by alamoblue2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in your husbands shoes. Say it was the other way around & your husband was in love with your friend, and your friend was in love with him. How would you take it? This won't work out. If he trully loves you, his man instinct is going to come out! That is usually not good at all. Forget about Ben, don't sleep with him 'cause it will drive your husband to sleep with other women. If you have sleept with ben and ur husband knows, he will do the same. You wouldn't like that would you? A person who loves another won't share! Sharing Is not caring in this CASE!! I know I'm greedy when It comes to my woman!
2006-10-11 01:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Marcosdrummer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to choose one or the other. Ben maybe right for you while your husband may not. OR Ben could just be a fling and not anything long term. It's easy for him to talk long term when you are with someone else
2006-10-11 00:44:04 · answer #6 · answered by Trojan8408 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just all join in together in bed, soon ben, i can gurantee that is his real name, will grow tired of watching you being done by your husband and he will leave the trilationship. Then you dont have to choose, problem solved. Make sure to do a paternity test when you get pregnant
2006-10-11 00:43:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are getting yourself into a real mess that you will regret for the rest of your life. Dump the friend and pray that your husband will forgive you for being unfaithful if only in your heart.
2006-10-11 00:44:10 · answer #8 · answered by Royallady1947 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're the woman. Your sex life could be satisfying. If one is not around, the other is available. But think again. If you get pregnant, who would you call Daddy to your child. Think not of yourself. Think of the consequence. How would your relatives, and neighbors react about your secret.
2006-10-11 00:51:56 · answer #9 · answered by junior 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop with this nonsense and adulterous mentality at once! What, you come on seeking some touchy-feeling advice and sympathy from liberals? Knock it off!
2006-10-11 00:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nature for women to want to spread their love. Your husband will probably start sleeping around now, and you can basically count it as 'over', even if you don't sleep with him.
2006-10-11 00:44:35 · answer #11 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋