I had an affair with a man from work and am now pregnant. i know it is his. i am married to a man i love, and want to be with him 4ever, i just made a really stupid mistake when i had this one and only affair. the man i had an affair with looks very similar to my hubby, and doesnt want anything to do with the child, he just wants to forget the whole thing.
should i have the child and not tell my hubby and just let him think its his? i do not believe in abortion.
has this happened to any other women in here and what did you do?
2006-10-10 16:38:44 · 14 answers · asked by amy 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Odds are, you can't keep this secret from your hubby. Consider when the child's blood type comes up when he's born. You also need to stay somewhat in touch with this other man if you can as knowing his family's background may be important if your child becomes sick (God forbid) or if there's any risks that you need to be aware of.
Maybe you and your husband can work this out. If not, it's going to hurt but now you have a little one to raise. You're in a horribly tough situation and I wish you the best. Just be sure to raise your child in a healthy and loving environment...one parent or two.
2006-10-10 16:51:00 · answer #1 · answered by Suse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be an even lousier thing to do than having the affair. The affair can end, but a lie would have to go on forever or else go on for a long time and hurt him more if the truth came out.
If you're honest there's the possible chance he'll be willing to live with it. There's also the chance he'll want out. You should at least behave with that much decency and give him the option and the truth. If you love your husband and want to be with him forever you may have to face the reality of losing him because of the choice you made with the co-worker.
Don't make more of a fool of your husband, and don't risk hurting him far more than the truth will. At least have the decency to be honest with him now.
2006-10-10 19:59:29 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you do have the child and keep it from your husband and something comes up like a disease, or a disorder and you guys have to be tested either genetically or by blood type your cover could be busted...the guy could change his mind later on and that could pose a problem in the future. Honestly, I think you should tell your husband...Honesty will be the most difficult thing for you at this point (besides aborting) but the best. If you are a religious person, it's time to lean girl...would you want your husband to tell you if he fathered another child?
2006-10-10 16:53:07 · answer #3 · answered by C K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my friend but alittle differently.....she met 2 guys in the same week and slept with them both, she ended up being with one of the men seriously. She got pregnant and she knew it was the other mans, but she told her BF it was his. in my opinion i would never do this.... I wouldnt lie to my child and to my husband just because i was a coward...you should tell the truth.. how would you feel, when your child grew up and found out the truth!?!?!?
2006-10-10 16:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not want to preach or anything so I will just say this:
You either tell your husband the truth because if you bring this child to the world HE NEEDS to know.
OR you have to stop the pregnancy. If you were against it and did not want to hurt anyone's feelings you would take extra precautions.
Good luck.
2006-10-10 23:37:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you have probably realized by now there is no good solution to this. The "experts" may tell you to come clean with your husband but in my opinion (assuming he loves you) you should go forward assuming that your husband is the father. (he may in fact be) In all probability that will be better for both your child and your husband.
2006-10-10 16:50:04 · answer #6 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im thinking you should tell your husband. just because the man you had the affair with looks like your husband doesnt make it right...
2006-10-10 16:47:25 · answer #7 · answered by Alicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow... that's opening yourself up to all sorts of **** in the future. I know of woman who this has happened to and yes they lied and told their husband the kid was his.
You imagine it, bringing up a child for 18 years and then finding out that its someone else's. That will kill your relationship and hurt the child and the father. All trust will be broken
2006-10-11 01:32:28 · answer #8 · answered by tay_jen1 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell the story to your real husband,,dont keep a secret !
you have to responsible for what you did ... you should be brave
good luck !!
2006-10-10 16:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the truth always has a way of comming out, better it come from you
2006-10-10 16:46:44 · answer #10 · answered by michael m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋