i had an affair with a man from work and am now pregnant. i know it is his. i am married to a man i love, and want to be with him 4ever, i just made a really stupid mistake when i had this one and only affair. the man i had an affair with looks very similar to my hubby, and doesnt want anything to do with the child, he just wants to forget the whole thing.
should i have the child and not tell my hubby and just let him think its his? i do not believe in abortion.
has this happened to any other women in here and what did you do?
2006-10-10 16:37:34 · 15 answers · asked by amy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if u realy love u husband and want to be with him forever u would never cheat on him! and u did so r u fool of s*** or what?
thats what u get from cheating. u cant lie to him and tell him that is his of u know if this other guy. if one day he will find out after some years its gonna get worst.... dont do this to him....
be honest, pay for what u did
2006-10-10 16:44:34 · answer #1 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a soap opera... I don't like soap operas because it has so much drama. No one can just tell the truth up front and always trying to cover up mistakes with lie on top of lies. The major problem is that it is hard to balance all of those lies on top of the simple truth. And once you get off balance and fall down, guess what's at the bottom... THE TRUTH! Living a lie is not living at all. Yes the truth hurts; but those wounds heal. Lies are soars that never heal because someone is always picking at the scab making the wound bleed all over again. Love conquers all things. If there is true love in a relationship, it will prevail in the long haul. Think of love as the molder in between the bricks. It bonds the bricks together, yet it keeps the bricks apart at the right distance in order to make the house beautiful. It won't be easy telling the truth sometimes, but eventually, the truth will come out. Sooner is better than later. I have been there.
2006-10-10 23:59:54 · answer #2 · answered by Preacher 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you realize how many men cheat and say that it was a one time thing and it will never happen again? The shoe is on the other foot now. Your husband has a right to know and the child when he/she is old enough really has a right to know. You don't cheat and lie and then make it better by telling more lies. Clean up your mess. It may not end up like you want it too but at least your life will be honest. This in not 1950 anymore, no one should grow up with a family secret hanging over them.
2006-10-10 23:50:49 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By the fact that you say that this guy looks like your hubby tells me you are seriously thinking of carrying through with your lie. Just by contemplating your lie, you are making yourself out to be your own worst enemy, that's what lying does, it makes us a different person.
Furthermore, you cannot tell me that the affair as you call it, was in a moment of weakness. This affair didn't just happen, there is always a reason. Basically, an affair is a running away from a present problem ( in the home).
What's to be done about this dilemma, you cannot pass it off as a simple matter, easily solved by what you prepose to do. For one thing it would never work, as the guilt alone would eventually wear you down, not to mention what it will do to your relationship with your husband.
It would be better if your husband learned of your " error of ways " from you and not from someone else. Your husband will naturally be very angry and unresponsive to your pleas of " forgive me " at first, but eventually he should calm down enough to talk about it. You will have to work through the pain and humiliation that he probably will experience, but it can be done if he truly loves you.
You see, true forgiveness is wonderful, it heals the wound, erases bitterness, and reconciles couples back together. Keep in mind that a person who can't forgive, has to be blind to his own faults. You'd think that he has never done anything that needed to be forgiven.
I honestly and sincerely wish you all the best and prayfully hope that you can work things out.
2006-10-11 01:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by trieghtonhere 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
people cheat for all kinds of reasons and i will not judge you but you have to learn to resist temptation especially now that you are married you cannot just have sex with a man as if it's nothing so please work on that. if you want to tell your husband it's up to you. he may leave you or he may stay with you and it is a hard decision. my opinion: tell him so he can have a choice as to what should be done and if he says he will leave then let him go maybe he will suggest an abortion if you don't believe in it then don't do it but you will be a single mother as none of the men will have nothing to do with you so maybe abortion is an option if your husband will not accept the child. if i were in your shoes i would have the abortion and keep my legs and mouth shut maybe not a good advice in some people's eyes but that's what i would do. if you pass the child as his lets hope nothing will happen where you will need a blood transfusion. good luck
2006-10-11 00:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by sexylousleo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me. All of these other people in here who are saying nasty things to you are full of crap ok? No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, don't ever forget that. So, while they are being so judgemental of you...remember...they have f'd up sometime in their life too.
My husband had this happen to him, only his ex wife got pregnant by a man of a different race. It is very obvious this child is not his, but he loves her beyond all measure and he signed her birth certificate and she is legally his child.
I don't know how your husband would react if you told him, only you know him well enough to estimate his reaction to the truth. If you don't think he will take it well, I wouldn't tell him. It may well be that the truth keeps the two of you from raising a happy healthy child in a loving home. If he knows you are pregnant and is excited at the prospect of a child, then let him share in your life and joy of the greatest gift you will ever have.
I know our situation is a little different, but we have full custody of this child who is not biologically either of ours and I wouldn't take all the money in the world for her. Your child deserves a two parent home if you can provide that, then do it. My husband became attached to her before she was born, simply because he thought she was his.
Best of everything and congratulations on your little miracle!
2006-10-11 00:13:16 · answer #6 · answered by stacye5398 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well i dont mean any disrespect but if you truely loved your hubby then you wouldnt have cheated on him,i think your hubby deserves to know the truth ,plz dont lie to him and make him think that child is his ,it will only make matters worse..my mom always told me "no matter what you do,you never get by with anything someone will find out and in the end there are no secerts.good luck to you ,just remember if you lie to your hubby you will be lying to your child
2006-10-10 23:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by JENNIFER D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to tell your husband because if you do not and someday hopefully this will never happen but what if your child needed something that you could not give them, sometimes medical problens happen,( I hope it never does it could be something even an eye appointment where the doctor has to know family background. Like I just told my husband that had an a fling with his ex wife the truth will set you free.
2006-10-11 00:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by short but sentimental 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just need to be honest and accept whatever may happen. Ask yourself if you could live w/ a lie forever.... I bet the answer would be no. The truth always comes out. Hope you make the right decision
2006-10-10 23:58:41 · answer #9 · answered by Princess T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well apparently you don't really want to be with your husband or you wouldn't have cheated on him. If you want to be with him forever like you say then you would have kept your legs closed. Now your going to bring a child into this world with a messed up family. How are you going to ex plane to your child when it grows up that your loose?
2006-10-10 23:49:11 · answer #10 · answered by kristal930 k 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋