What is a fear of intimacy and how does it manifest?

Question

Would holding onto a past relationship and comparing the current one to the old one be a fear of intimacy? Or crushing on someone you know you can't have ex.) because they are married , could that be a fear of intimacy? Or having lots of lovers but none that you are close to, is that a fear of intimacy. Ultimately what does it mean? Why is there a fear of intimacy?

Answer 1

fear of intimacy manifests therough unsuccessful attempts to be intimate with someone.

Todays society gives people pressure about how everythig revolves around sex. TV and media showign images of models to show how perfect we should be. Of course most people aren't exactly perfect and people have high epectation from the opposite sex. By believing this, you lose confidence to approach and be intimate with someone because you care too much about your ego and have too much pride that the other person might reject you and destroy you.

Because of fear of getting hurt and damaging your ego, people live in their comfort zone that is far from the edges. To be intimate with someone is to open up to them. That means getting your guards down which means risking getting hurt....thus manifesting a fear of intimacy

Answer 2

There was a wonderful article in Psychology Magazine a few years ago entitled "Intimate Terrorism."

People are afraid of becoming close for fear of winding up apart. People become close anyway but wind up further apart.

The roots of domestic violence lie in the concept of intimate terrorism where either partner uses violence to drive the other partner away only to show remorse when desiring closeness.

http://www.wwnorton.com/catalog/fall96/intimate.htm - book