affair and pregnant?

Question

i had an affair with a man from work and am now pregnant. i know it is his. i am married to a man i love, and want to be with him 4ever, i just made a really stupid mistake when i had this one and only affair. the man i had an affair with looks very similar to my hubby, and doesnt want anything to do with the child, he just wants to forget the whole thing.

should i have the child and not tell my hubby and just let him think its his? i do not believe in abortion.

has this happened to any other women in here and what did you do?

Answer 1

If you would seriously consider having a child and letting a man you SAY you love think it is his, you don't deserve him. How can you be so cruel and ignorant. You can't love your husband, I'm sorry. How can you say you love someone and then sleep with another man? It wasn't a mistake, he didn't fall in you. You have a mind and you CHOSE to do it. Be honest, at least do one right thing out of this. Tell your husband you cheated, let him decide what HIS life should be, not you. As for your last question, NO I never did it, I'd NEVER in a million years cheat on any man I was with, let alone my husband, who is the one true constant love in my life. That is not love honey. Did you think the man slept with you to have kids with you? Get real, he got his piece and wants no part of a beautiful baby he created!! He is a poor excuse of a man also. I don't mean to be harsh, but I'm so sick of this preoccupation with marital infidelity in this world. Doesn't anyone have morals or honesty and integrity any longer? Bottom line - don't marry if you don't take your vows seriously before God.

Answer 2

I hate to say it, but you are up the creek without a paddle. You really messed up.

How on earth do you know it isn't your husband's? And if you are THAT certain.......then do the math.....he can probably count back to and see that it wasn't him

If you are sure, and it's true, then you better fess up. You DO NOT want having your husband love, care for, become attached to, and help support this child only to find out that it isn't his. He and the baby will be devastated. He may not be able to stick around....he would be crushed, and so would the baby all because "mom" wanted to be selfish.

That is too much. You should break up with him. Don't tell him you are pregnant, just end it. This is the bed you made, now you have to lie in it if abortion isn't an option. I am not advocating abortion, because I don't necessarily agree with it for my own self either.......but it is a statistical fact that 90% of women in the US (If you are even from the US) are killed by husbands or boyfriends, and the MAJORITY of these murders occur when the woman is PREGNANT.

How much more so would he flip out if found out that his wife is pregnant with another man's baby. That would ASSASSINATE his pride. So.......break up with him. Go on with your life. Raise your love child, and get the other guy for child support. He shouldn't have laid down if he wasn't willing to accept the consequences of whatever it brought about.

You are in a tough situation. I feel sorry for you. =(

Answer 3

To make a man devote his life (or even part of it) to raising a child that is not his is the worse thing a woman can do to a man. Eventually the truth will come out. He will have been robbed of his child and of all the years of his life he could have dedicated into a child of his own. From a biological or religious point of view, you are denying or jeopardizing his chances of "perpetuating" himself in favor of him helping you out in perpetuating yourself.

On the other hand, imagine what it must feel for a child or grownup to be robbed of a father? Twice? If your son/daughter finds out that his/hers father (hero, protector, role model) is not the father, how do you think he/she will feel? And what if he/she then is too old to connect to the biological father (who might not even be a bad guy) or if by the time the truth comes out the biological father is dead.

What happened, happened and can not be changed even if you had an abortion or miscariage. That guilt is yours to carry and deal with, but the "crime" is just something that can happen whne you join the Earth bound creatures. However, what you are considering is the incomparably selfish, cruel and coward. That is a crime that can never be forgiven.

Answer 4

You have few choices.
1. admit your infidelity, and ask your husband to forgive you, and to raise the child as his. Do whatever it takes. If he says no, then you go to choice number two. When the child is an adult tell him you went for a sperm donor.
2. Ask for a divorce, after you've had an amniocentisis. With an amnio, they could prove the paternity of the father, one way or another. Your feelings have little to do with actual evidence.
Once paternity is proven, and it's the other man, then you file for child support. You'll need it.
3. Have the child, but put it up for adoption, but first notifying the family of the other man, to give them the option of taking the child.
Make certain you notify the other man, and put his name on the birth certificate.

You need to gather your best friends now. And you need gather your cash, and look for a lawyer. Be prepared for a divorce, and be grateful if you don't need one. But chances are, it could still happen down the road. It depends on the quality of the man you married. Do not tell your current husband until the paternity of the child is known, if possible. YOU don't know. Don't presume until, the dna test is in. Good luck

Answer 5

You have no choice but to tell your husband now before he finds out. He'll find out whenever your child's DNA is compared to his and he finds there is no match. This comparison can occur at anytime, so the sooner you deal with your infidelity, the sooner your husband will either forgive and forget, then accept and love your child as his, or he'll bail, which by the way, most men would do to a cheating lying wife. For the sake of your unborn child, start now by being honest with your husband, your child, and then yourself! What would you do if he did this to you?

Answer 6

I just read someone else in your shoes before I ready your comment and boy is she up shits creek without a paddle. to makke a long story short she also had affairs and her children are not from her husband. now he's going to find out as its spreading around town so now she wants to own up. if she knew she never would have been found out i doubt she would own up.

So My best advise is to tell him. Yes you made a terrible mistake but by covering up now will even make it more worse down the line. He will Find out somehow some way only a matter of time. don't kid yourself. and by you lieing to him will only make matters worse.
He has the right to know . and then let him be able to make his own decison if he wants to be father to this unborn child of yours or not.

Answer 7

If you tell him, I doubt he will ever let you live it down. Every argument, when he gets mad at you and other times he will come back at you with it.
If you don't tell him, you will have to take this to your grave. Unless the child has an illness that will require one of you to be an organ donor, then he will know for sure, other wise I say keep it a secret. Men are not forgiving creatures.
Good Luck

Answer 8

Stupid!
Why do women always say it happened only 1?
Why ask if other women have the same problem? Goodness, from what planet are you?
This happens every day, or don't you read, watch TV, movies and other.
Married and not using protection? Sorry, but you must tell your husband or live with the lie forever.

Answer 9

my friend did the same thing...affair and baby...cept this guy she had the affair with actually moved to the next city over and quit his job..

my friend....Lacy...she had the child let her husband think it was his but had a guilty consious and eventually told him when her daughter was about 4

my husband thought he had a daughter for 2 years and then suddenly one day found out it wasnt his...event ho the girl and him was not together when she got prego just **** buddies...it tore him apart..so you got to think about whether or not you'll be able to handle that secret and for how long and how he would react if your hubbie found out.....good luck tho

Answer 10

your husband has the right to know, since he might be taking care of this child, if he loves you, he will stay with you, and help you, if not then, you made your choice by cheating on your husband. Have a DNA test done, your hubby will want one.