I've recently put together a bunch of things I've always known about myself and think that I am probably a lesbian. I recently ended a 7 year relationship with a man, and want to be by myself for a while...and then, I really, really want to date women.
I know that in hetero relationships there is a lot of pressure on women to be very thin and perky-breasted, and to sort of look as close as we can to a Playboy bunny. Are there any of these types of body image issues in lesbian relationships? I realize that some of this would depend on the people in the relationship. Personally, the woman I am incredibly attracted to right now is rather plush, and I think she's super hot.
I just wondered because this is a whole new thing for me, and it's scary to be realizing your sexual orientation at 29 and then realize that lots of the dating/sex stuff you knew about may no longer apply. Thanks very much for any advice! :-)
2006-10-10 16:35:52 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I think lesbians and bi women have a much higher tolerance for a bit of "plushiness", depending on the group. (Some super-glammy women don't.) Some women actually have an anti-glam ethos that makes them pull away from a woman who spends too much time on her looks! But whatever you like, someone else is going to like it, too.
As a big girl, I have gotten jealous of my wife because she's tiny, with killer abs, and can eat whatever the hell she wants. She's been jealous of my breasts and threatened to buy herself a pair of her own. (I've begged her not to; so far she's listening!) That kind of stuff can eat away at your relationship if you don't acknowledge it.
I hope the woman you think is super-hot thinks the same about you!!!
2006-10-10 16:45:02 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I don't think sexual orientation matters it depends on the person. I have a really big butt for a white girl and find that I don't date men or women who aren't attracted to a little bootie.
If they like what you have you will feel great about it. You should like what you already have anyway because every woman is beautiful in her own way.
I like pretty women who are femme but I don't like them super thin and I don't need a play boy bunny I want a woman with natural beauty and curves.
good luck hun
2006-10-11 02:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by BabyBella 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First off: Many people realize they are gay at an age much older then you.
Second: Don't pin a label on yourself. You may just be testing unknown waters.
Third: Like any group of people you have the image thing but in the lesbian world it is basically about who you are and not what you "Think" you have to project.
Last but not least: The type of person you are attracted to is all up to you and you alone.
A person's personality is way more important in my book.
Take your time and never rush anything and you will do just fine.
2006-10-10 23:46:12 · answer #3 · answered by dragon 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That's a good question. I think in some ways lesbian women are more tolerant of a less than perfect body. However you have some women watching the L word and thinking that's how lesbians should look.
My ex is "plush" and when I see her, i'm panting like a dog. So I dont think its necessarily the body, its the person inside it. And if they are confident and carry themselves well, big or small, it doesnt matter.
2006-10-11 01:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by angelajock 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Darling when it comes down to it who you are the way you look and how you act is up to you. you should be they way you are. Don't hide your true self behind stupid barriers. Some times i feel I'm over weight or I'm to short, Or i don't dress pretty enough. But when I think about it i realize I'm not fat at all. yeah well so what if I'm a little bit short and hey I'm comfy in the clothes i wear.
There is no way to pre-pare yourself to date women or anything like that. All you have to remember is your a girl and so are they so it should be easier for you to know how to treat a girl your with. All i have left to say is don't get to stressed over it all hunny and good luck, you'll do just fine I'm sure.
2006-10-10 23:49:48 · answer #5 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It of course depends on the person and group. Everyone has their own opinions. Not every relationship is based on appearance alone. In fact the best ones are hardly based on looks at all. A lot of lesbians are more apt to date someone like them...whatever they are...
2006-10-11 04:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by tcountry69 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I first learned of lesbians it was in a sociology class during a discussion of feminists. I thought, and wasn't alone, that feminists were mad at men because they were too ugly to get dates. Enter the lesbian connection. Many of the early feminist leaders were overtly lesbian and used the women's movement to advance the idea that women did not need men. Women's styles became more masculinized. Pants were in and bossom displaying or body shaping attire had its moments on the outs. Womens clothing became utilitarian and approached unisex. That fad had its waning moments, but never really disappeared. When I see lesbian couples they tend to be of two general types. There is the couple wherein one is distinctly feminine and the other definitely holding the masculine role of the relationship--and common concepts of beauty are sparingly employed. Then there are the trashy types, angry with the world and don't give a hoot about looks and fashion. Of course, there are the stealth types that wisely live as women are commonly expected to live, to have some measure of personal pride and joy of life. You usually won't see those but they are there. Still, of the two obvious ones, it is common to have some or both of the partners to almost purposely be the opposite of that "Playboy bunny" that you mentioned. I'm sure there's oodles of inside stuff that I'm not privy to, but there is plenty to be gleaned from the psychological and sociological studies, as well as just watching people in the world about you. They are there.
2006-10-10 23:51:14 · answer #7 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 2⤊ 5⤋
its a great question. And judging by the very happy lesbian couples I have seen, I would say that no there isnt as much pressure to have a 'beautiful' body as in a hetero relationship. Men are such pigs.
2006-10-10 23:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
It's the same for either. We all want to be accepted. It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, we all have the same issues and concerns. Although I do think men put more pressure on women than women.
2006-10-11 00:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by Grommitt18 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
wow! what a great question...now you've got me curious too...i would think it would be similar...but then with most i think it's not so much physical appearance as getting to know the person for who they really are. i find myself attracting to girls that most guys would be attracted to...femme girls...that are slendor with a nice chest size....long brown hair...nice smile and pretty eyes....make me real hot!:) good luck with everything
2006-10-11 11:07:43 · answer #10 · answered by tigerlily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋