I want to know of the men. If you had your shopping list of all you wanted in your ideal companion, but did not meet such a woman (ever or yet) would or could you settle for a woman who seemed to match 90% of the characteristics on your list?
Would you say to yourself, "I won't meet anyone perfect, but she is the next best thing."?
Are you the type to settle when it comes to a long term relationship or marriage?
2006-10-10 15:33:08 · 27 answers · asked by dream_angel_come_true 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I tell you what, I thought I would never get married. My best friend was saying that he thought he would be giving his best man speech at the senior center and we would be having yogurt afterward.
No one is perfect, especially me. My wife is definitely not perfect. Falling in love is not as easy as making check marks by everything that is right between you and her on a list.
It is my belief that both of you must be able to figure out that you are actually in love (that was the most difficult part between me and my wife). Once you are past that point, it doesn't matter the lists you have made, all that matters is the time and effort you are willing to put into staying in love. If you are not willing to put time and effort into the relationship, you are not with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with and you should move on to the next person.
Finding "the one" takes a lot of time and it may never happen. "First in all things be true to thyself". Once you are to the point where you can consider yourself pretty complete and feeling pretty good about yourself will you be able to find someone to prove you wrong.
2006-10-10 15:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by Just another 2D character online 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one should "settle" when it comes to a long term relationship or marriage. You are going to be stuck with this person for the entire rest of your life, forever, a life sentence.
However, anyone who draws up a shopping list for a "perfect" wife is on completely the wrong track anyway. A person's perfect match is never someone who looks perfect, has money, has such and such career etc. A person's perfect match is someone who "fits' with their personality, values and emotional outlook.
There are a lot of men out there who think they want a tall redhead, or a busty blonde. The reason they end up marrying a short brunette or a skinny mouse, is because they do meet their true perfect match, and realise that appearance doesn't matter. That's not settling, that's waking up to yourself.
2006-10-10 15:43:27 · answer #2 · answered by Kylie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can ever meet someone and think they are perfect for you - not just by getting to know them. once you start living the real life then you start to see the real person. it is very unfair for a man or a woman to think someone's perfect outside the living environment. if you are settling you are probably settling in with a partner wanting to live a life together married or not. and living with eachother inevitably brings sacrifice. it is not fair to settle for someone and then still keep looking for the perfect other - who knows the perfect other outside might turn out to be a living nightmare! so if you pick a mate stop shopping around it isn't fair on either of you and in the mean time life will pass you by. It's not like buying a car or a computer where you settle for what you can afford and start winging the minute a better model comes around! no body's perfect that's what keeps us human!
2006-10-16 00:55:54 · answer #3 · answered by bee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face facts and understand that perfect someone does not exist. I never had such a list. That kind of thinking only leaves you lonely. I have had relationships with several and they were all different. I must say all were fine gals as well. A long way from perfect but then they kept telling me I was not perfect either. Sure was hard to believe though.
2006-10-10 15:39:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I met the perfect woman 12 years ago. We lived too far away...and eventually that drove us apart.
Fast forward 2 years..I met another woman who was a good woman. She was nothing like the first one...but a good woman nonetheless. We were together almost eight years...and in that time there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of the first one.
Fast forward to 2 years ago. I ran into the first one again...the perfect one. We still live a great distance apart...but I know I love her unconditionally and totally.
I settled for eight years. It didn't work. I will never settle again. Even if the first one and I don't ever get together...it would never be fair to anyone else to pretend I think they are "the one."
I've already met her. There is no one else.
2006-10-10 15:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by Mike 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yep there is no such thing as a perfect partner ( think how boring THAT would be) and so there are millions of suitable women who are between 51% and 99% perfect.
The big problem is that there is much more competition for the 99% perfect women, so a guy will subconsciously size up his OWN suitability and pitch himself at the women he is most likely to succeed in winning.
We are just as big mercenaries in this respect, as women are.
2006-10-10 15:38:45 · answer #6 · answered by Not Ecky Boy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, in the past I have settled for relationships with women who were far from my first choice. Come to think of it, I've done it, well, more than a couple of times. In retrospect, I'm not particularly proud of it-especially considering the fact that one of those relationships ended in divorce. Another ended up...well, nevermind that one.
The difference between those relationships and my current relationship with my wife of almost 9 years, is that I chose my wife. I'm sticking with her through thick and thin (and there has been a lot of both). The times when I did settle were when women came on to me and I wasn't about to say no, I took advantage of what was immediately available while it lasted.
I know that must sound terrible, but it's the truth.
2006-10-10 15:58:00 · answer #7 · answered by Leroy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I firmly believe there is a perfect person for everyone.
I would never settle with someone who matched 90% of what I wanted, because one day along the line, that 10% could end the relationship.
Settling for the next best thing isn't worth never meeting the best thing.
I would definitely settle when it comes to long term relationships.
2006-10-10 15:40:09 · answer #8 · answered by godathonone 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Overall, some guys are different. I've come to the conclusion that no matter how perfect of a girl we find, there is always a better one out there, that's just a fact of life. This is going to sound retarted, but it's kinda like a computer, the minute you buy one, the next day a faster/better one comes out. If you're always waiting, you're going to end up with nothing in the end.
2006-10-10 15:43:21 · answer #9 · answered by Gregor II 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if the remaining 10% weren't very important. I doubt anyone could get a perfect 100%. For the long term, I'd have to think whether that 10% would grow into a festering pustule over the years -- and so that 10% would be very important, wouldn't it?
2006-10-10 15:36:15 · answer #10 · answered by RB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋