How do you gently tell your wife she is overweight w/o hurting her feelings?

Answer 1

I do not believe there is anyway of telling someone that without hurting their feelings. If you were to venture in telling her regardless, I would tell her that you love her and want to grow old with her. Perhaps the two of you could exercise together so you both will be healthy.

Answer 2

Physical appearance and voice, the two things which attract two people to each other in the first place, I call them " surface things". However, physical appearance originates far below the surface. I hope you realize that " good looks " do not guarantee " good character ", but nevertheless, appearance is basically important to everyone.
Sometimes wives who are over-worked at home, or have been neglected by their partner find themselves in a mental slump. They deceide that their situation is hopeless, so they let themselves go.
Have you ever considered that perhaps she too is feeling emotional about her weight? You would be a great partner if you were more sensitive to your wife's feelings and her moods. Maybe she has concerns about her weight problem and she would want to share them with you, if you became a little more sensitive to her feelings and moods. Choose a time when you feel is appropriate and discuss with her your concerns. Perhaps she will realize that you care enough about her and she will be more than willing to talk with you.
Try helping her out at home, take an interest in what she does at home. Sit down and speak with her about your concerns, suggest you'll help her to lose the extra weight. Start going for walks, jogging, or suggest going to a gym together. That would be the intelligent step to take if you really care about your wife.
Start buying her some pretty clothes and take her out once in awhile. All the while encourage her to keep looking nice, and tell her how much you appreciate her.
In the meantime, good luck and remember be sensitive to your favourite girl.

Answer 3

Your wife does know she is overweight, what she doesn't know is how you feel about it. It's not wrong to be concerned about health issues in your partner, and it's okay to want a better sex life, or a more active life, or whatever it is you're feeling you need.

I think a lot of weight issues are tied into emotions to begin with, most people are sensitive with it so there is no getting around hurt feelings. But it is important that you don't push away your feelings because it's things like that that will eat away at a relationship. I would begin by telling her you love her and you care about your relationship together- and then tell her what it is you feel 'you' need. Is it better intimacy? Are you concerned about her health and how it will affect your relationship in the future? Is it about her letting herself go? Maybe her weight is a reflection of an inability to cope with stress, or her emotions. Indeed these are things that need to be addressed for the sake of your marriage. Sometimes, if your feelings interfere so much that you cannot communicate and you feel you cannot reach a place you both feel comfortable with, I would recommend some counseling. You both may benefit from understanding your needs and issues with someone who can direct you in the right place.

I do believe it is showing yourself love and respect, thus your partner and family, to honor your health and your body. Neglecting your health is not a right that should be protected because of 'hurt' feelings. Let her know in a reasonable way how her weight makes you feel, and how it's affecting you. Then it is up to her to decide if your feelings are a priority.

Answer 4

If you love her, truly and deeply, you don't say a word because you love her for who she is, not what she is.
She knows she's overweight. And she hates looking at herself in the mirror.
Imagine yourself trying on a pair of pants and the size you've always worn is now just too tight to wear. Jeez, you wonder....
Is she normally sedentary and not used to or has quit exercising? Take her out for a walk, after supper, every night, if you can. Why don't YOU do the groceries and make sure you have a good supply of veggies? If you keep low cal salad dressings on hand, she'll use that to dip the veggies in.
Trust me, telling her she's overweight is a bad idea. She knows she's overweight and doesn't need anyone to reinforce it. Slowly sliding into a healthier life style is easier said than done, but with each others support, you both will feel better.

Answer 5

More than likely, what will hurt her feelings is that she probably already knows that she is overweight (women are very sensitive to the weight issue). Telling her isn't going to help her lose it and it is going to lose you cool points. If she is overweight, chances are you don't qualify as an Adonis yourself. My recommendation is to learn how to be healthier TOGETHER. Suggest joining a gym and let her know that you have done research that says it doesn't matter how much activity you do if you don't improve what you are eating. Then figure out how to cook better foods for yourself TOGETHER!

My wife and I went through the same thing. She was the one that brought it up to me. We both agreed we had to make some changes and we both have done so. Now we are both healthier for it and I love her more for improving our health and self image.

Good luck!

Answer 6

You take a healthy cooking class and do all of the cooking. Okay, that's not practical, although it might well work.

I think that you could suggest the two of you taking an evening walk, every evening, and talk about the harmful effects of being overweight and how you want to have a looooong life with her. If you walked every night for 45 minutes and changed nothing else, you would see results.

You could forget about telling your wife anything and just love her for the woman you married. That is always an option. Eventually, beauty fades, even in men. It's the inner beauty that attracts us to our life mates. If you married her for her looks, well, that's another issue.

Good luck. She is still the woman you married.

Answer 7

Your wife probably realizes she's overweight but feels comfortable enough with you to think you won't mind her outward appearance. I'm not sure exactly how you should tell her because if you come right out and tell her she's overweight, you are most likely going to hurt her feelings and her insecurities will probably surface. If she has health problems, then it might be different because you would be worried about her. Just consider her feelings and love her for the reasons you loved her when you married her. If you truly love her, you won't let her outward appearance interfere with the way you feel.

Answer 8

You don't! Women don't take it like we do. Honestly, the BEST you can hope for is to find some creative way to get her to change eating habits and lifestyle without mentioning weight.

I'm still fixing s*** in the house from about 6 months ago! Not really, but she did get violently angry for weeks when I tried to be honest with her about why our sex life was suddenly going down the tubes.

When we finally started talking again, I threatened to grow a beer gut. The day my six pack protruded outward about an inch (literally) she decided she wanted to lose the excess weight so she could at least get back into a size 6. Oh, and she started dropping hints. Go figure!

Answer 9

you are a very nice man. your wife knows she is overweight so you don't really have to tell her that. what you want to know is how do i tell my wife i think she needs to loose weight without hurting her feelings and that's a judgment and it's going to hurt. but as i said you sound like a nice man and she will get over being hurt...what are some ways that you can contribute to this weight loss...cooking healthy meals, doing the dishes, joint yoga...i am always willing to do something if my husband is willing to shoulder some or a lot of the help with it...good luck

Answer 10

Sit down and have a long talk about the relationship in general. Start with reassuring her that you love her either way, but lead into the various health issues that obesity cause. Offer to help her, list off a bunch of physical activities you can both do, and join a gym WITH her! Above all, make sure you tell her she's loved, etc. but that you just want to make sure there isn't an underlying reason she's gaining weight. But also be prepared - unhappiness is one of the biggest causes of weight gain.

Answer 11

Honestly, you probably can't. Even if you are extremely sensative in the way that you tell her, it will probably still hurt her feelings; wouldn't it hurt yours? Plus, if you noticed that she's overweight, how could she have not already noticed herself (it's her body, afterall)? The best thing to do is to just keep quiet about it. If it gets to a point where it becomes hazardous to her health then I would probably voice some concern, but if it's just a few vanity pounds just leave her alone about it- she'll better herself if she wants to. :)