I have been married for 1year but i have known my husband for 8yrs. I love him and care about him but i dont want to be married. I know that i should have given it more thought and i am dumb. I love and care for my husband very much but i dont feel happy being married and i dont want children but he does.How can i do this with out hurting his feelings. I want to be withsomeone but not by marrriage and i really dont want children.I dont want to feel like i have to settle down. I never cheated ever but i dont want mariage. please help
2006-10-10 14:45:14 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now is the time to get an annullment...before children become and issue. Tell him the truth just as you've stated in your question. He's gonna be hurt but he will recover. Women are like buses...you miss one and another will be along shortly (and yes the same can be said for men).
2006-10-10 14:50:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is NOT a pain free situation you are in. There is no reason you really should be here if you do not think you want to be married. Just be happy that you do not have children in this marriage.
Some people feel this way when they start to miss what they once had when they were single, however think back to when you got married and start to look at what made you at that time in your life want be married. What were those feeling and then understand that if you really can not understand why your still in this marriage GET OUT.
Best of luck.
2006-10-10 14:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What can you do? Ur already married. Ur going to break his heart if you tell him you want a divorce? Girl, you should've talked about your expectations before you got married. Did you think marriage is something you can get into and get out of easily? It's not a game my dear that you can just quit if you don't like it. Try to ask yourself why you don't want to be in the marriage you're in right now? Why don't you like children? Is it final that you don't ever want to have children or is it just for the meantime? Please talk these issues of yours with your husband. It'll hurt his feelings, but he may understand your point of view. Or maybe he can change the way you feel about things. Be honest and open. If you keep all these things to yourself, you will still shatter ur marriage because these unresolved issues will alienate you from your husband.
2006-10-10 14:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by Milie88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready to get married then why did you marry him? Sometimes we are not really contented on what we have in who we are, but you love your husband right? And you don't want to hurt his feeling's in the first place you shouldn't have married him. Sometimes you can tell your self you don't want children but when you got pregnant you will love it, that's the time a woman is complete when you're having a baby, now you can only tell that you hate children just because you haven't tried to get pregnant, you can still be somebody even you,re married and a mother. Or you're just afraid of something else.
2006-10-10 14:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by housewife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's OK if you don't want kids - I've been married 1 year and I don't want any kids. My husband is fine with it because we discussed it before marriage - he said whatever happens, he'll be happy.
It sounds like you're freaking out. Give yourself some time and space to really think things through - you made a huge commitment to someone, telling them you don't want to be married anymore without any valid reason other then you just don't want to be is just cruel. See if you can't find a way to work through this - do it for your husband.
2006-10-10 15:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no possible way to do this without hurting him. I agree with you that you should have thought long and hard before you said I Do. If you really don't want to be married then you can't make yourself miserable for the rest of your life. You are going to have to face up to it and sit down with him to have a long talk. Yes it will hurt him but there is no easy way out of a situation like this. God Bless and Good Luck.
2006-10-10 14:50:29 · answer #6 · answered by froggie47469 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought about going to counseling? or even a separation, or even a vacation alone? maybe a time out is what you need.
I would even go and talk to a therapist. To help sort everything out.
Whatever you do, don't bury your feelings. Open a line of communication...... Tell him how you feel.
2006-10-10 15:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by talk4now2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will hurt him and you but its best to get over with before you get any deeper, in the long run it will work out and everything will fall into place. if you choose to stay for his sake, then say you do get pregnant and have kids then it will much more harder to leave and u then will have the children to think about. if you think you can tell him go for it.your happiness should come first
2006-10-10 14:57:19 · answer #8 · answered by Robyn G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE ONLY WAY IS THAT YOU BE HONEST WITH YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT HOW YOUR FEELING SO YOU CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT!! GETTING MARRIED IS SOMETHING THAT YOU DEFINATLY HAVE TO WANT AND NOT JUST DO IT FOR THE SAKE OF IT!! IT'S BEST TO TELL EACH OTHER WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE BEFORE YOU MAKE THE COMMITMENT SO YOU'S BOTH KNOW AND CAN WORK IT OUT BEFOREHAND!! ONLY WAY YOU CAN DO THIS IS TO TELL HIM THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE MARRIED AND DON'T WANT KIDS. I DON'T SEE HIM GETTING ANGRY OR ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING HONEST AND TELLING HIM HOW YOU FEEL!!
2006-10-10 14:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by pqr 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you don't want children, but why don't you want to be married? If you love him, what's the problem? Is it that you want to mess around with other men? Think about your motivations. Maybe you're just afraid of the commitment.
2006-10-10 15:00:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋