My best friend recently got dumped, and very unexpectedly. They were together for six years, off and on. Her boyfriend lives with his Mom, although he is 33, and has a job and car. Over the past 7 months, he had stayed at her house and ate her food, watched her cable, and used her home as his own. He hardly contributed any money towards her expenses, no matter how much she begged. They found a new apartment together, and were supposed to move in on the 1st of November, and then this. He has always been stingy with his money. He was good to her otherwise, very loving and affectionate.
Now, I know we all say "the guy is a jerk anyway", but when it comes to love, sometimes we are truly blind.
Any words of advice I can give her besides the old standby "other fish in the sea"? He will probably come crawling back to her within a few weeks, AGAIN. Should she set her mind to let this one go, or try to work it out?
2006-10-10 14:01:38 · 8 answers · asked by rouschkateer 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This sounds like your friend likes the drama of this on again and off again relationship. If you have watched her go through this on again and off again relationship over and over again, I am sure that you have tried to give advice before; and she obviously has not taken it to heart and listened to you, as they have continued with the relationship. You did not say how old she is, but she has let herself become complacent about this situation and thinks that this is the guy for her; no matter how immature he is and how much of a user and loser he is. A grown man of his age should be living on his own, not with his Mom; unless he is living with his Mom because she is of ill health. I have a feeling that he is somewhat of a baby and likes having a woman pay the bills and he cannot and will not take care of himself. If she has chosen to live this way, you may not be able to help her get out of the situation. She has to have some low self esteem issues of her own to put up with this type of man and relationship. If you are in a committed relationship with someone, everything is shared. He should not be stingy with his money either, this is an indication of lack of maturity. Your friend may be a substitute for his mother, as she seems to be doing the taking care of. You can try and give her some constructive criticism; but that is really all you can do. If she chooses to stay in this relationship with this man, she is of age and you are not her mother so there is not too much you can do other than be supportive of her when he ditches her yet again. I have many friends and family members who have been in similar circumstances, and until they have decided to change their choice of partners; I was wasting my time and energy trying to make them see what negatives that I saw. If they have not changed, I can only be their friend and avoid spending time with the "jerk" in the situation as much as possible. Best of luck to your friend, she is going to need it and thanks to you for being a good and concerned friend. Have a good night.
2006-10-10 14:25:43 · answer #1 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds simple.........SELFISH & SELF-SERVING! He probably doesn't want to move in because he would be expected to share expenses. I say shame on his mother for creating a monster & not teaching him to be a man! My question would be why would a mother want her 33 yr old living at home?...she should want him to become independant & stand on his own & have a family of his own some day. This is a very strange picture & strange that your friend thinks by some small miracle all of a sudden he is going to change...why should he? He has it made!
2006-10-10 14:35:48 · answer #2 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a no brainer. Tell your friend that she got hosed in this deal. The guy probably saved a small fortune on her back. Sad world today how people take adavantage of one another. I would take him to court for something, as surely in the USA you can litigate over spilled milk.
Tell her, to have a cup of tea and watch sex in the city. That's what my single girlfriends do, then they go party all night long.
Smart guy, but what a cheap bastard.
Cheers.
2006-10-10 14:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Nice Guy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well they have been together a long time. but i would say if you are going to rent an apartment together then everything should be 50/50. he should pay something. he should have payed something in her house when he moved in with her. so unless your friend likes to pay for everthing then fine work it out. or she should see how life is w/o him for a while and if she can't do it then talk to him. she could have been with him so long that she got used to it. and if so then that isn't good. you only live once...make the best of it. the best way you can.
2006-10-10 14:06:18 · answer #4 · answered by Bitch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When she ready to let him go and out her system she will just be there for her go out to the club and to the movies help occupy her time to get her mind off him but do not tell her he aint no good cause she know that already just let her know you in her corner u got her back
2006-10-10 14:07:51 · answer #5 · answered by Lil Mama 1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I betcha this guy is an Italian? His Mom is gonna rule,so get rid of him!at 33 yu would think he would have some balls?? but seen it many times!afraid to leave his momma, waits on him hand and foot and is the real center of his world? your friend is just eye candy?
2006-10-10 14:06:40 · answer #6 · answered by richard c 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if a woman wants to play the fool, nothing will stop her, it happens every day
2006-10-10 14:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
meet each other half way
2006-10-10 14:06:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋