My ex husbands girlfriend of over a year, calls me everytime they fight. He calls me too, and wants to hook up, he has my kids and uses them as pawns, but I never give in Anymore. (havent for 2 years) My problem is that she calls and cries to me, and I always try to help, cause she is only 18. And i remember how bad break up hurt. ( Im30, he is 28) I have told her to just move on, but she always goes back to him, and then they hate me, and tell my kids horrible things about me. Legally I can't get my kids back right now. They both called me tonight, him, trying to be nice, her, on the other hand, crying telling me I won, everything, I can have him (I do not want him) We are going to court on Friday, for custody, I wont get them its not like that, its just review cause I have been in trouble, the question is, is it insane that they keep calling me./ Her specifically? I think so. What do I do?
2006-10-10 13:52:23 · 12 answers · asked by Lees' 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well,..him wanting you back shows he has taste anyway....
...i don't know what to make of that situation girl....but i think i would tell them to leave me out of their business from now on.
your not their dear abby column....sounds like they may need one though.
I hope things work out for you with the kids eventually......good luck girl...
2006-10-10 14:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by juslookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to them outside of the kids. If he uses the children as pawns, write down the date and time and what took place, do this faithfully. It will help in court. Just tell them, unless it affects the kids, you don't want nor need to be a part of their squabbles and drama. I really hope the kids aren't around while they are doing this, the sad thing is that I'm prolly wishing on a dead star. That can be used against him in court also, them fighting in front of the kids and them talking bad against you to the kids. In time, I hope you get your kids back, but take this time to get your life as best as you possibily can and take him back to court for custody. I wish you and those kids (the ex and g/f included) the best of luck!!
2006-10-10 14:02:38 · answer #2 · answered by spunkyshell2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
been there still doing that , the only difference is that my ex"s wife now is a lot better than his last ex....... so i dont mind helping now....but i couldnt stand his last wife, so when she called i would tell her sorry, u knew how he was, so deal with it! then hang up..... i really try to stay out of his new marriage, i make it as short as possible..the only reason i get involved anyway is because of the kids.......they call me.......and soon im on the phone playing marriage counselor! and also i dont sleep with him.......never will again, was used by him before, why go thru that again? get it????? its hard when u have kids caught up....so tell her u dont want to hear it, its a conflict of interest! ha ha... then hang up but be verry nice about it! good luck!
2006-10-10 14:34:22 · answer #3 · answered by pretty_amazing_2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason he should be calling you is for the sake of the children, not to try and hook up. As for the new girlfriend, stop giving her advice, because it seems to go in one ear and out the other. (that's what kids do *she's 18 and still a kid*, they ignore the advice given to them) If the calling keeps up, your the one who is going to end up crazy trying to help them sort out their lives when you really need to be concentrating on your own.
P.S. When you are able to get your children back, do it, and get them out of that mad house where they are now.
Best of luck to you.
2006-10-10 14:06:38 · answer #4 · answered by Tawney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is not healthy. You try to get your life in order to get the custody of your children. If you really want them, then have that as an objective. Those poor souls did not do anything to deserve the kind of life they are getting. You as a mother can, if you get things in order in your life, give them the best you can. Forget about the father of your children or his girlfriend. It is insane. Why should she call you???? it seems unhealthy to me. Get them out of your life....
2006-10-10 14:12:20 · answer #5 · answered by Incredula c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as the calls from her..........their aint no use in talking if there is nobody listening! you can give someone the perfect advise but if they are not going to take it then you may as well talk to the kitchen counter! you'll get better results!
She is not listening to you,& worst, she is making you the bad guy after she runs back to him! Next time she calls crying to you,simply tell her.....(I dont mean to be rude but,"pigs we get what pigs deserve"!)......if your going to run with,lay down with & consort with a pig then your getting what your asking for.
As far as him......there is no advise I can give you! you were giving it to him on the side at one point,so you basically told him that its open house & he can have it whenever he wants it! Yes your telling him no right now. but the fact that you were giving it to him on the side before makes him feel that he is now entittled to it & that he owns it! So he WILL NOT give up on trying to dig in again! You'll just have to put up with it & keep saying no from this point on. sorry!
2006-10-10 14:28:30 · answer #6 · answered by Scorpio Rising 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll continue to call you as long as she sees you'll listen to her. She seems she just is immature and doesn't have any idea what she really wants. I mean you said she just stays with him so obviously she isn't following your advice. Stop taking her calls unless it concerns the kids otherwise tell her you were just stepping out and cut the call short. Good luck.
2006-10-10 14:34:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give any of them advice....for starters, honestly, she shouldn't even be calling you with this BS, I guess she figures you dealt with him before - what's your magic, she should've known what was in store when she feel for a man with baggage...... as for him, when he calls, tell him directly, that the only conversations and advices he should be having with you are regarding your children... everything else is off limits.
2006-10-10 14:00:16 · answer #8 · answered by TrixR4KidZ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to stop being immature. If they want to be together they need to either grow up or break up. Try checking out what Dr. Phil might have to say about it.
2006-10-10 13:58:53 · answer #9 · answered by mandapierson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask them both to not get you involved with their disputes. There's nothing wrong with you asking that.
IF by you getting in between them because of all your advice, then you need to be the one that stops. That way things can't be said to the children either.
2006-10-10 13:57:29 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. And I think it's quite strange. While I know it would be hard to totally cut ties with your ex because of your children, his new girlfriend and her issues are not your concern. I suggest u tell her straight up that whenever she has issues with him, to handle it herself. She got herself into the relationship, it is her problem to deal with, not yours.
2006-10-10 13:59:35 · answer #11 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋