What do you all think of arranged marriages?

Question

I used to think arranged marriage was a crazy concept. I mean, who would want to marry and spend their life with someone they dont even love? But then again, why do we as Americans think our concept of marriage is better? We do have a 50%+ divorce rate...So what do you all think about this topic?

Answer 1

Marriage is so much more than feeling love. At least with arranged marriages, you have the entire families supporting you and being there to help you through any problems. Your main goal is usually to bring the families together and have kids. Also, most people don't marry total strangers- they meet and can usually reject a potential mate. Many times the families DO pick a suitable mate and they DO develope a deep, lasting love.

Answer 2

I know of a 14 year old lady that was married to a 25 year old man, well over a good 80 years ago. They were Italian, and it was an arranged marriage deal. She came to the U.S. spoke no English, lived on a remote farm, and had 14 children. Even if she wanted to divorce or run away how could she? She was strapped down and trapped. Yes, the marriage lasted til the husband died, but can you imagine at 14. It's like child rape?

I think arranged marriages are bad like in this case and story.

Another arranged marriage in Italy was for a girl who the parents picked. SHE LOVED ANOTHER GUY, but was forced to marry an abusive asshole, and had 3 kids and a miserable life. To this very day she is unhappy and depressed. These parents or matchmakers are sick people who can make other people's life miserable. These two examples provide it.

Answer 3

From my perspective I don't see a lot of difference. My neighbor and friend is Hindu. Both of his daughters entered into arranged marriages. One has three children and a marriage that survived a very rough period. The other is happily divorced.

I will grant you it is a small sampling but it's all I have. Still, one success, one failure. That works out to 50% which isn't that different from the American method of choosing a mate, when the end result is analyzed.

BTW, as an American, I prefer our system but I am not prepared to say it is better or worse. And, I am sure not ready to throw rocks at any other culture. I guess I have been too many place and I've seen happiness and sadness everywhere. I simply won't pass judgment on any other way of life.

Answer 4

I believe they quite often did (and do) work out. The families arrange the marriage based on similarities of social status, beliefs, the personalities of their children, and other matters that might be clouded issues in a young person but that are very clear to the parents.

In the cultures where this was practiced, and where it is still practiced, it is an accepted norm. Divorce is typically not allowable in those cultures and, because it is not allowed, it is something not considered. Since it cannot be considered, i'm sure this leads people to find ways to get along instead of looking for reasons not to get along.

Any system that works cannot be lightly dismissed.

I think our divorce rate could be higher than that; and recently read a statistic where 2nd marriages that occur within one year of the dissolution of the first marriage had a 75% failure rate.

Yeah, you're right ... we've cornered the market on good, solid relationships.

Answer 5

Well, it's been a great success in many different cultures over the years, including ours at one time. People can learn to love each other if they choose to. Marriage can also be a business arrangement between families or a "marriage of convenience" that can work for all parties. It's all in what the couple want to do with what they have!

Yes, people do... "fall in love" and it's wonderful! But people also fall out of love sometimes and maintain a marriage anyway. So there ya go!

Both ways can work. It's up to the couple involved.

Answer 6

I always used to think arranged marriages seemed primitive and outdated, but like you point out we have a very high divorce rate in this country. Maybe we are not very good at picking our own spouses. I don't think my teenage daughter has the ability yet to make a good decision for a life-long partner -- hopefully she won't marry for a long, long time. Maybe parents (who have been married for a long time and know their child well) are able to pick a good mate for their child. I have friends who are in an arranged marriage and did not meet until their wedding day. They are happily married with 3 children.

Who knows what is right???? I am not one to judge...

Answer 7

I am not one to judge religions or ethnicity of any sort but I am 100% against arranged marriages.
In an arranged marriage you don't get to experience falling in love, you're assigned someone that you're supposed to love.
How can our feelings be assigned? The cultures that have arranged marriages don't have divorce rates because they're obiding by their cultures laws by marrying someone arranged for them so that they will not be excluded and banished from their family and therefore divorce is not an option.
Any normal person should be able to decide who they want to spend the rest of their life with.

Answer 8

Alot of people can fall in love if being around each other for along time.

Our divorce rate is high, that's why it should be MORE expensive to get married than it does. Maybe things might change alittle.

If different countries practice arranged marriages, then that's their custom. Have you checked into their % of divorces?

Answer 9

If love is the sole reason you have become married...awaken!! love won't be in a position to be the sole reason, thats a undeniable recepie to catastrophe whilst existence gets actual!!a competent marriage is what creates love and love comes with time and age and provided that the two considered one of you're prepared to make issues paintings....I easily have had numerous relationships earlier marriage...yet i had an arranged marriage, coz our objectives in existence have been the comparable, our values matched, our concept of a soul mate matched and love befell as we grew in togetherness...i exchange into of the opinion arranged marriages have been unusual, yet mine and a superb form of like mine are in basic terms wonderous....its an entire diverse holiday of understanding and discovering yet another who's jogging the comparable miles which you somewhat choose to stroll in existence...arranged marriage any day yet God Bless you stumble on the purrfect one, like i did... :)

Answer 10

Love is so over rated! Marriage is a commitment for the betterment of both peoples lives. I think it would do at least as well as how we are doing it now