Should I wait or should I give up?

Question

Well, my girlfriend will be transfering to another school soon, and I won't be able to see her for quite a while.2-3 years. I can't go visit her or anything because after she transfers, she'll be moving away also, but somewhere in Orange County (I live in the north side of LA). I was wondering if it is worth the wait because I'm afraid she will go with another guy in her school after she transfers. Is it? We've been together for 8 months, and I'm afraid of losing her.

Ok, we do have contact(think I forgot to mention that), but just that her parents are kinda *strict*...yea..

Answer 1

Ouch - not fun. The hard part of love is that it always includes the possibility of loss, as well as the possibility of joy.

Soon you'll both be seeing completely different groups of people on a daily basis. How about this -- you guys stay in touch, e-mail and phone, and meantime you both try to meet lots of people, so you can find people you like, who like you, and you see what happens?

If you both miss each other, you'll figure it out over time, but if you put the pressure on the relationship, worrying about how to keep it together, you're almost certain to squeeze the life out of it. She might go out with someone else at her new school - and you might meet someone at your school you want to go out with. You might date other people and come back together, or you might find that neither of you meets anyone you like more, or... there are a lot of possibilities here. Meantime, if you get out and meet a lot of people, you'll make some new friends, good no matter what else happens. You'll feel more confident and secure if you spend time with other people who like you and share your interests, so you'll be less clingy and desperate, so you'll be more fun to talk to for everyone - including her.

I know it's hard, but the best approach in this case might be to try to stay in touch, but not be a couple for a while, and see if you drift together, or apart. Good luck!

Answer 2

1) Orange County isn't THAT far from where you are. Can't you hop a bus to see her? Or borrow a car?
2) She will find other guys if you don't think she's worth the bus fare.
3) Two or three years is a long time. Are you willing to put YOUR social life on hold for that long too? Both of you will meet new people and both of you will change in that time.

Good luck!

Answer 3

2-3 years is a very long time. Sorry to say this, but either you or her will eventually get lonely and might meet somebody else. It's probably better if you end the relationship now, it will save you some more heartaches and will get over her sooner. Long distance relationships normally don't work anymore. Specially if one or the other goes to school. The best thing to do is listen to your own intuitions and follow them. Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

It's a personal decision you must make. If she is important enough for you to keep around, and you don't mind waiting for 3 years at most because she's worth it, tell her that and see how she takes it, and make sure she feels the same. If so, then that is great. But if not, don't get too sad about it, as, unfortunately, these things happen quite often.

Answer 5

You should prepare yourself right now for a "loss". If you can't go see her, or she can't make it up to see you, there usually is the need to go on dates, and get to know others.

2 to 3 years is along time sweety. IF you 2 agree to staying together, things still do happen. We all grow in different directions, and we all change.

Good luck, but I doubt it will work.

Answer 6

Im very sorry to say,,but i guarentee the both of you will find other partners. 2 or 3 yrs is a long time to wait for someone. You both should let eachother go before she goes to the other school,,,,if you are both really in love with eachother,,you will find one another again when shes done with school,,if it was really meant to be. But for real go your seperate ways.

Answer 7

i think for now you can tell yourself that is better to wait.. leave it as that.. time will decide where you are both heading... it's difficult to make the decision to just give up.. so its my opinion to just say that you will wait.. you will boht have different life experiences in separate schools.. pretty soon one of you might want to go separate ways.. keep it going till maybe the relationship subsides and or distance an time makes it stronger.. its very hard tosay good bye to someone you love.. jsut say i will see you soon and hopefully if you are meant to be then only time will decide,,, good luck

Answer 8

If you wait then you wait but the question you have to ask yourself is will she wait for me. NO. is a long distance relationship going to work. NO. and can you go all that time without seeing her and still feel the same way about her. PARABLE NOT. so after you ask yourself these questions then you will know if you should wait on her or not.

Answer 9

Aw that is really sweet. It depends, does she want to wait too? Long distance relationships usually don't work. I don't want your heart to be broken. So you should just move along. There is someone out there that God made especially for you man. Avoid the heartbreak. Good luck

Answer 10

Wow! 2-3 Years?! With no contact?! I'm sorry but I don't think that will last. But if it does... that's unbelievable! Tell me you're secret! But how is she? Because I don't think she'll want to go 2-3 years without any... you know, action... I'm sorry. But I don't think she'll wait - maybe you shouldn't wait for her...