I have been married for 5 years and recently my husband has been lying regarding money and his spending. For example: he never told me he played poker one day after work and lost $30, another occassion he borrowed money from his boss and then that screwed us later casue he had to pay it back, but I didn't find out till he had to pay it back. We have a toddler and I only work part time so we need all the money we can get. What would you think?
2006-10-10 13:35:42 · 17 answers · asked by Fusion12345 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like a gambling problem, get him to seek help.Good Luck
2006-10-10 13:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by dwayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not say that his poker games is affecting the family finances or that he used the money he borrowed from his boss for gambling. So, I'm assuming the the gambling could be a guy thing but if this is affecting his ability to provide for the family, then it's an issue you need to call his attention to. I don't see the need to quarrel or try to corner him, just be sincere and open, I believe he would understand. Good luck.
2006-10-10 21:00:16 · answer #2 · answered by Bantree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His spending behavior is not fair to your family. All money issues need to be equal and everyone 100% honest about where and what they are spending it on. Try to sit down with him and work out a budget. If your incomes allow and additional $100 per month misc spending then each of you should get $50. He can spend it on an occasional poker game but he has to be honest with you. You can spend yours on shoes but it also needs to be something that is not hidden. If he refuses to change, I would take things further by seeking the help of a marriage counselor. I would not put any debt in your name alone...like credit cards nor personal loans until these issues are completely resolved.
2006-10-10 20:44:27 · answer #3 · answered by Christy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep track of all the things that are happening, even if you don't know till it's too late and hes in trouble. Write it down and document everything. If it comes down to you losing your house, cars, etc. you will want to be able to confront him with facts as to where the money is going.
You may also (heaven forbid it gets to this far) want to divorce him at some point for his stupidity and you wont want to be responsible for all his screwing around when you come before the judge.
2006-10-10 20:45:16 · answer #4 · answered by jaysangman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he could have a problem soon .. he sould never gamble more than he can afford to lose and if he's borrowing from his boss etc.. this isn't good. and more money could start dwindling away if your not careful then the house themorgage . gambling can be very addictive and deadly .
and you can't tell a gambler to stop they just say yeah and do it behind your back. he will need professional help on this one
2006-10-11 02:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a very long talk with him telling him he needs to discuss money issues with you first before he does such a drastic thing. He needs to grow up and smell the coffee. He should be spending that money for the family if there is such a tight budget.
2006-10-11 00:00:57 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would speak with him straight forward and explain to him that his honesty is essential in the marriage and without it, I wouldn't be able trust him and therefore the relationship would mean nothing.
You need to tell him that if he's borrowing money from anyone or spending money on games, he needs to talk to you. A marriage isn't a one way street, you two need to compromise.
2006-10-10 20:51:31 · answer #7 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your "husband" has a gambling problem and already it's affecting your way of life. He doesn't care about you or your child. He needs help, if he refuses then it proves he loves gambling more that you and your child. That is so not fair to you. You need to find a MAN that will love and respect you and your child.
2006-10-10 20:42:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't trust him. He is a liar and this needs to stop now! If he continues to get away with the little lies, they will grow, and pretty soon you will be wondering what happened to the toddler's college fund.
2006-10-10 20:44:19 · answer #9 · answered by JillA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl i have the same problem but mine spends it on beer and ciggaretts, i really don't know what to do either. people think it easy to say change or im leaving but i too have a toddler a 3 yr old and his dad means the world to him. and yes we are broke too but he dosent feel were to broke for his need. hopefully things will work out for u if they do let me know.ohh and were coming up on our 6th year anv. girl i feel your pain
2006-10-10 21:46:46 · answer #10 · answered by Robyn G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down together and talk about it. Keep in mind if you back him into a corner (scenerio), then he will come back out lashing and will end up having the entire thing blown out of wack!!!
2006-10-10 20:42:20 · answer #11 · answered by jwise_89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋