will u tell me??

Question

a funny joke or something clever? i will giv 10 pts to best answerere

Answer 1

How's this/
He who makes me doesn't need me,
He who buys me doesn't want me,
He who uses me doesn't feel me.
What am I?
Answer: A coffin

You feed me, I live. You give me something to drink, I die. What am I?
Answer: Fire.

You may see my tracks
Depending on the weather.
You can't hold me for five minutes,
Though I'm lighter than a feather.
What am I?
Answer: Your breath.
AND THE GRAND FINALE:
Riddle: A man wanted to enter a club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened. A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, 'twelve.' The member replied, 'six ' and was let in. A second member came to the door and the doorman said, 'six.' The member replied, 'three' and was let in. The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said ,'ten' and the man replied, 'five.' But he was not let in.

What should have he said?
Answer: Three. The doorman lets in those who answer with the number of letters in the word the doorman says

Answer 2

Do these make you laugh?????????????

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After
a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for
cold milk?"


MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so
old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you
must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."


STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much,
that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."


BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain
to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained
it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with
wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?


SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't
give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."


DI (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"


MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing
in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why
is he whispering in her mouth?"


CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what
was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed
when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"


JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story His dad read: "The man named
Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife
looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened
to the flea?"


TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled
woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked,” Why
doesn't your skin fit your face?


The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget... "Dear Lord," the minister
began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his
upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued, but
at that moment my very little daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to
me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is
butt dust?"

Answer 3

QUOTES:♥

Boys dont fall for me, I trip them!

Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in people's eyes and run!!!

Times Fun when your having Flies - Kermit the frog

I like bieng clever with jokes. Like, my friends last name is Musselman. So, when we were in swim team and she was swimming i was like, put some MUSCLE in it MAN, lol

I say things like, stop scaring those little kids with your face!!!


P.S I'm preppy too! <3 (Do you put hearts next to everything?!?)

Answer 4

This isn't a joke it's more of a riddle. See if you can figure it out.
"BROTHERS & SISTERS I HAVE NONE BUT THAT MANS FATHER IS MY FATHERS SON"