is it time for sex?

Question

so im 13 and my boyfriend and i are starting to get serious. we've known each other for a while and we're really close...he's like my best friend. we have been talking about it, assessed all of the factors and talked about our fears, he is scared that afterwards [it is both of our first times] i am going to leave, b/c i know 'how' and that is my fear for him. i'm also scared of the glove breaking and getting pregnant....i do NOT want to get pregnant. i need advice from an adult or someone who has gone through this, b/c my friends now don't know how to help me and i am not close with my mom...PLEASE.

Answer 1

Baby please wait and save yourself. If your boyfriend is really your best friend then he will respect your wishes to wait. 13 is way to young to be having sex and having babies. That is always a possibility even when you use a condom. You seem to be a nice mature young lady who I'm sure has a lot of potential to go far in life and you won't if you start having sex. there are a lot of headaches and heartaches that come along with sex and the possibility of getting pregnant or diseases. Wait please until your out of school!!!! Good luck and God Bless!!!

Answer 2

I was 15 when I lost my virginity, and I have wished ever since that I had waited til I was older. At least wait til you are 18 because sex makes your life so much more complicated. For instance, if you and your bfriend have sex, then the next time you guys are alone and start makin out it will be expected that you are gonna have sex again. If one day you don't feel like it, he might start to expect it from you. Also, if for some reason you and him don't work out, are you gonna keep having sex with all your boyfriends from then on? How will that make you feel? When you are a little older it is easier to make those kinds of decisions. Plus when you are young sex isn't really that enjoyable anyway. I didn't have my first orgasm til I was 19 or 20 because thats when you are more comfortable in your own skin. If you decide to have sex anyway, use protection. If you decide to become sexually active you should be on the pill, so you may want to wait til you are old enough to feel more comfortable talking to your mom. I have never been close to my mom either, so I know you crave the attention and closeness that you are lacking. That might be the cause for wanting to have sex so badly. Think it through while you are alone without your boyfriend, and see how you really feel. Follow your heart, not your hormones. Take it from a 30 year old who has been where you are.

Answer 3

i went through almost the same situation. I was 15 and by boyfriend just turned 17. We have been together for 8 years and now have a 2 year old son. Think about getting put on birth control for a few months before you actually have sex. that will help prevent pregnancy if the condom does break. if you truly believe that you are ready for this kind of a relationship, you and your boyfried are the only people who can make that decision. Don't let outside factors, (like your friends) influence your decision. This is a big decision and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Answer 4

Hon you're so young and getting pregnant is a very serious factor that you must consider.

You and your b/f need to talk about waiting until you are both older and if he's your best friend then he'll listen to you.

You will have so much time for sex and stuff like that when you two are older and more prepared to handle the responsibilities and/or consequences.

Good luck with your decision.

Answer 5

I would wait a few more months just to make sure that he is the one you want to have sex for the first time with. Your feelings for each other may change for the good or the bad. Nobody can tell you what to do, because your a teenager and your are going to end up doing what you want. I would think about getting put on birth control if what you really want to have sex. Good Luck in making the right choice for youself and I hope things work out with you and your boyfriend.

Answer 6

Sex is wonderful, thrilling, lovely, etc.

Please wait. You are very young.

Read up on the Net about the PROPER use of condoms! (Should be used with WATER-BASED lubricants, for example, or they may well break!).

People who are inexperienced frequently use condoms incorrectly, or do not put them on soon enough. These people are then called "parents."

I am not trying to prevent you from having sex. I am trying to help you avoid an unwanted pregnancy.

ANY time you have sex, with protection or not, a pregnancy is a distinct possibility.

If you are not ready for a baby (a real, live, living, breathing, human baby, that will require devoted personal and financial attention for about 20 years) DO NOT have sex.

Yes it is that simple. Sex is all about making babies. It is about all kinds of other things, too, yes, true - but, sex makes babies.

It only takes 1 sperm (and there are a bajillion in even ONE drop of semen!) to make a baby. ONE drop in the wrong place, at the wrong time - and YOU'VE GOT A BABY.

You two are still children yourselves.

At the very least, go to Planned Parenthood, for GOOD advice, and a discussion of ALL of your options for protection.

This is VERY serious stuff that you're getting ready to start dealing with!

Best of luck to both of you, honey.

Answer 7

okay... at least your sitting down and thinking it through. let me tell you something... its not worth it. You are still young, wait a few years. If your still with that guy then it will be something special, if you've long since broken up then you won't regret your first time. When you have sex there is always a chance you could get pregnant. I was on the pill, missed two pills and ended up with a baby. Thats a tough choice to make, beleive me. You guys can get all the pleasure out of a sexual relationship without actually having sex. Wait a little longer having to make choices about birth control and pregnancy are not something you need to deal with right now.

Answer 8

Why do you want to have sex? Is it really love at all? I'm 21, getting married in 96 days, and I'm not quite sure that I've got love all figured out.

I also was a virgin for the first 20 years of my life, and when I lost that I knew I had made a mistake. You see, once you've had sex you've taken two and made them one. This is a great thing, when it is in the right context. When you have sex outside of marriage (that means without the commitment of a life spent together), you run the risk of the very thing that you fear; him leaving you. Sex without a commitment for life is like putting two peices of duct tape together, and just waiting for someone to come and tear the two peices apart. Believe me, I know firsthand.

If your boyfriend really loves you he will wait until he has commited to spending the rest of his life with you before taking that precious gift from you. Not just saying he will, but actually commiting to it through marriage. Since you're only 13, marriage is some time off, but take the word of someone a little bit older and a little bit wiser: it will be worth the wait.

I have also had the fun of waiting to find out whether or not I was going to be a dad. No contraceptive is 100%. Even a condom that doesn't fail still has a chance of letting sperm through. I know of a woman who had 8 children with her husband, and each time she was on birth control also. So if you're not ready to have children, don't have sex. (You have now been warned.)

I have chosen to not have sex with my fiance until we are married, and that will show her two things:
1) I don't just want sex, I want the rest of my life with her because of who she is.
2) She is valuable enough to me that I will wait for her until we're married to have sex.

Make your boyfriend show you those same things. You are a very valuable young lady, so make him show you that he sees that through the commitment of the rest of his life. What you are thinking about giving him you can only give once, to one person. Odds are, you are going to want that person to be the one with whom you will spend your whole life.

One more thing, and this might sound wierd. You said you're not close with your mom, but what about your dad? I don't know if he's around much for you, but you might be surprised to learn that he might have some insight for you.

Answer 9

Oh honey, you are much too young for that. Please don't rush to grow up because once you're youth is gone, you're gonna want it back. I know as a young teenage girl you're going through all kinds of emotions. You have so many more years ahead of you to experience all of that. The best way to avoid becoming pregnant is just to abstain for now. Like I said, please don't rush it.

I have a friend who got pregnant at 13. She and her boyfriend at the time wanted to keep the baby and told both parents. Needless to say, she was forced (literally) to have an abortion and her boyfriend was sent away -- seriously a true story.

Bottom line: If he's not willing to wait, then he's not worth it.

Answer 10

congratulations on using good sense so far. now continur to do so. you, young lady first tlkto an older woman whoyou can confide in. ask blunt, in depth questons and ask for the same kind of answers. next see a doctor and get youurself put on birth controle..you spoke of the clove breaking, a reasonal risk, but you would be welladvised to go to a gynacoligist and have some very minor surgery done. he can do the job there in the office and it,s almost painless if somewhat emdaresing and well worthwhile to have this done.. HOWEVER i would strongly advise you to wait at least three or four years before you proceed. you are quiet young as yet you know, and you are now in theprocess of makingone of your first adult decisions of your life. your decision can and will influence the remander of your life for good or bad