My mom is a nurse at the same hospital and has been for 34 years. Everyone knows her and her insurance is taking care of the costs for the birth cause God knows he or his family aren't paying a dime. He is angry because I want my mom in the delivery room and not his mom. Only 2 people can be in there because my obgyn is very strict with the number of people she lets in. What do you think? I absolutely despise his mother *for the 100th time on here* and his entire family. I am thinking of using my mom's hospital connections and getting security at the door to escort any family members of his out. My mom is paying for this pregnancy and birth she has more right to be in there, right?!
2006-10-10 11:16:49 · 36 answers · asked by KelBean 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
your pregnancy, your labour, your choice!
tell your bf if he wants his mum at the birth its tough and he will have to get over it!!
if his family were helping towards the cost s then i could understand why he wants her there so much, but seeing as there not its your choice.
if you think that his family will be difficult then i would get security at the door and even have him removed from the room, he should be helping to make the birth as comfortable for you as possible not making you stressed and unhappy!
2006-10-10 11:26:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some hospitals let entire families in the delivery room. Others have rules. But the most important thing is that the mother of the baby gets her privacy. If you don't want anyone in there except you and the bf, that's your choice. If you allow your mother in as the second coach because she is a nurse, that makes sense. Don't mention you hate his family. Just say you can only have two people and your mother is a nurse and she's your choice. His mother is the baby's grandmother,too. I'm not encouraging you to let her in the delivery room. I am encouraging you to try to make peace with her for your child's sake after the baby is born. You won't be sorry.
2006-10-10 11:25:20 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex wanted his mom in the delivery room too. I just said wait a minute...I don't want your mom lookin' at my crotch! Sure he was pissed, but so what. My mom's a nurse too. And she was definitely there. I gave him two choices - my mom will be there, because I need her there. And birth is not about him. If he wants his mom there, too bad. If he doesn't like it, he can wait out in the waiting room with his mom.
And besides, your bf is only that - your bf. If he was your husband, he'd maybe have more say. But, since he's an invited guest, take it or leave it.
2006-10-10 16:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it doesn't really matter who's paying for it or what profession your mother is in.Any woman including me would want her mother there with her.It's your labor and delivery you have the choice of who you want there.Just sit down with your b/f mom and tell her shes more than welcome to wait in the waiting room with anyone else that would like to see the baby after it's born.Dont exclude her from your child's life because no matter what this is your child's grandmother.I had everyone come and visit me while I was in labor the first time with my son.I literally asked the Nurse to aske everyone to leave except my mother and husband because I was in so much pain and couldn't stand to be around anyone else.I opted the next time when I had my daughter to just be my husband.It worked alot better that way.I also asked that no one come see me until the next day.Good luck and congrats.
2006-10-10 12:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by ang3lzfir3_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely. this is your body and this baby is coming out of it. Your mom has been there for you and like you said paying for this, and you never know what could happen a couple years down the road. This guy and his family may not be involved later down the road and you're going to regret not letting your mom be there. Just do what makes you happy and dont worry about anyone else. Especially if you hate his mom that much.
2006-10-10 11:37:06 · answer #5 · answered by arae8419 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget who is paying for it. It might be his baby but you are the one who has to go through the labor and delivery and YOU have the right to decide who is going to be there and who isn't. My mom was with me when all three of my kids were born and although I wanted their father to be there it was my mom I depended on for support because she had been through it and he hadn't. As far as his mother goes I did have my ex mother in law banned when my son was born. I simply told my doctor that she was causing me a lot of stress and I would prefer her not to be around and he handled it from there. Just simply tell your bf that your mom IS going to be there that you need her and if he wants to be there fine or he can wait in the waiting room, also tell him you know it is his mother's grandchild but you are your mothers child and that gives her more of a right to be there than even him as legally he can't make any decisions regarding what to do in case of an emergency as you aren't married and as your parent your mother can. Good luck and congrats on the baby.
2006-10-10 11:24:32 · answer #6 · answered by Martha S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, first off, i am not going to hound on your pregancny out of marriage, but if you don't like him so much, why??? well, you are the one that has been carrrying the baby or will have been for 9 months, alothough, he had a part in the making of the child,its always been moms choice of who get to be in there. i guess he is one of the two???don't go to an extreme about being escorted out or anything, cause when your child asks you later in life what was going on around the time of the birth, and what were you thinkning, you don't want to tell her, you were calling security!hope i helped, and congrats on the baby!
2006-10-10 11:34:42 · answer #7 · answered by vmbbfreak06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your bf not your husband. If you want your Mom in the delivery room with you then have her in the room with you. No one else has the right to tell you who should be in with you not even your bf who can not even get the guts to ask you to marry him. As for his mother, if you hate her or even if you don't, keep her out, you need this time to concentrate on you and the baby, and not some granny-want-to-be getting you upset.
Best of luck and have a healthy baby.
2006-10-10 11:25:03 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, my first concern is that you are having a baby with a man whose family you hate. You do realize that this baby will be his family now too, right? I would make some amends before too long, or you may have trouble with them.
BUt to answer your question, this is YOUR delivery, not his. You are going to do embarassing things in the delivery room, possibly pass gass and have a bowel movement. You want to be as comfortable as possible, for your sake and the baby's sake. Choose who will make you comfortable.
2006-10-10 14:06:10 · answer #9 · answered by Rose C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally your decision, your birth.
I was having the same feelings. I told my husband that I want my mom in the delivery room with us, but I don't think I'd be comfortable with anyone else (only him and my mom). It's my body. My mom went through it 4 times and I would want her there. I'm not close enough to my mom-in-law to have her in the room with me while giving birth, but that's just me. Thank GOD my husband didn't object.
2006-10-10 11:32:20 · answer #10 · answered by JoesWifee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋