A lot of people in my school call me gay. I sometimes think they do it because i have a lot of friends who are girls than boys, but i get along with the girls better. Other people say that because i am too smart and in my school, they think a boy should just play sports, but i hate sports and are horrible at them, and everyone makes fun of me because of that. The school is very sexist. Even the new kids think i am gay! After a while it gets to you, and i am really irritated!!!
2006-10-10 10:54:35 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
What should i do???
2006-10-10 10:56:02 · update #1
I know i am not gay, and i am in the 8th grade.
2006-10-10 10:59:03 · update #2
Name-calling is one of the most common things in schools. It happens at every level, from kindergarden through college, and gets more complicated as you grow. It even happens after you've graduated from school and enter into life as an adult.
People generally find it easier to deal with complicated differences in our society by labeling them with names that may not be appropriate for everyone.
In your school for example, you lead a life that is not typical for boys. Social groups sometimes demand that you conform to the 'rules' for behavior for your gender, and if you don't they will call you out in some way. They've chosen to call you 'gay' as a result.
It may not be accurate. You may not be homosexual at all. This doesn't matter to them. They've simply chosen to redefine the word 'gay' to call you out. To them, you are gay because you don't follow their rules of conformity. Its not about who you want to have sex with at all.
So, what do you do about it? My advice is that you don't do anything, and simply ignore it as best as you can. Live your life with confidence and be proud of your differences. After all, why be like everyone else? What fun is there in that? In time, they will acknowledge your confidence as strength and they will respect you for it.
Own your new label, wear it with a smile, and show them you can't be bullied into conformity. That's what it means to be a man.
2006-10-10 11:30:03 · answer #1 · answered by Todd 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If people called you a bird would that bother you? It shouldn't because you are not a bird. You will find in life that a lot of people are cruel, it is sad but true. Honestly, if they weren't calling you gay they would be calling you something else, especially in the 8th grade. As time goes on it will probably deminish. You sound like a nice intelligent guy. Keep up your studies, keep your friends and enjoy life. And know this - when people are talking about you they are just giving someone else a break!
2006-10-11 11:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you know how kids can be, anything to be cool and have people laugh at there jokes. You need to just hang in there, in high school there are different group, maybe with more people like you. Just remember even though these kids are calling you gay, they might be struggling with there own sexuality. They want to see how other people react toward gay people and they are using you as the pinata if you know what I mean. So put that back on them, just be like do you call me that because you are and you want to see how people will react to you? Also you need to know there are many, many gay professional athletes in this world.
2006-10-10 18:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by mylife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God says, while it may irrate you do not show them that it does, and do not tell them you are "not gay". The more you respond the more they will continue to say it because they know it is getting to you. People can be cruel sometimes, and at your age it can seem even worse. If they say you're gay .... laugh, OR say well my girlfriend doesnt think so. OR Is that what your boyfirend thinks? OR if I was gay I'd be only half as gay as you are, OR hey i'm not the one in girls underwear. In other words either ignore it or try to use humor to deflect it back and after a while it will stop. But never let them know it upsets you!
2006-10-10 18:22:04 · answer #4 · answered by God 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have several choices. I like the first one the best: don't let it bother you. Turn and walk away. You know yourself better than these other people know you, so don't listen.
Second choice is not as good, but it's your option. If someone says you're gay, tell them they're wrong. You'll have to give them the correct details to set them straight (no pun) whatever those details are. "I'm not gay. I'm 16 and I don't have sex." will probably work
Third choice is something to do only after you've tried everything else.
No, there is no third choice. Ignore or correct.
2006-10-10 18:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by anyone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People at that age can be very mean and nasty, especially other boys. They don't want people to think that they are gay so they bash other people who they think might be -- or who are somewhat different than them.
I suspect too that the boys are actually jealous of you because you can interact so well with girls at your age -- not necessarily sexually or romantically, but at a friendship level. (By the way, the friendships you have with the ladies is called, "cross-gender" or "cross-sex" friendships.)
Ignore these characters and enjoy your school years. Think well of yourself for being able to interact so well with women. Please realize that this type of adolescent nonsense these guys are pulling on you ends in adulthood. Teasing is a way for adolescent boys to assert their authority. If it becomes too much for you, report them to your counselor at school, a teacher, or principle. In this day and age, you do not have to put up with this sort of thing. Middle school and high school are tough enough as it is!
By the way, later on in life, you will be surprised at how many of your classmates (including your tormentors) turn out to be not straight.
2006-10-11 02:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are being bullied, your school has a responsibility to protect you and you should report these assshats to your principal.
I would see what your local library has for books on being bullied and fighting back. Don't roll your eyes at this suggestion as being lame, I'm in library school and we spend a lot of our time talking about how to help people find information when they are in a deep emotional bind. Lots of people don't utilize our skills and we sit at the refrence desks twiddling our thumbs. Any librarian worth their salt could help you find some books and websites about coping with this kind of thing.
Good luck.
2006-10-10 20:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this has happened to me since i was in 6th grade and i am in 10th grade now. i have no guy friends, i get along with girls (except one girl who is a byoch to me), i hate sports, i suck at playing sports(except tennis which is considered a "gay" sport), i am very smart, and i don't dress in my gym clothes everyday like most boys do. i have a very nice wardrobe. they are just jealous. i am gay by the way.
2006-10-10 20:08:18 · answer #8 · answered by boricua82991 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at them and answer "No, you?"say it calmly though act like it doesn't bother you. Say it very nonchalantly.
Hey email me I have another best friend named Daniel he used to get teased all the time I'm 18 now but he got teased all the time in 8th grade. I would love to make a friend with you. You seem cool.
Love,
mmmk92
2006-10-10 18:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by mmmk92 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People like to label other people. Of course it is irratating, but there is not really anything you can do about it. the more you try to PROVE you are not the more attention you will draw to urself and it will only get worse. Just hang in there.
2006-10-10 18:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by Tony 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋