After 3 years of marriage, he is unable to meaningfully participate in a dialogue or compromise in any way. All problems are eventually identified as mine. Won't go to counseling, either.
2006-10-10 10:03:27 · 15 answers · asked by kat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, get some counseling for yourself and learn to be strong. He thrives on making you weak so he can control you. That's how HE feels better. Then you have to decide if you want to put up with his actions or leave. There is no other way as he will never change.
I went through the same thing only it took 8 years for me to leave. They start out OK, but gradually become what you have now. It's hard to identify when you are dating as they are on their best behavior. It's not your fault you didn't recognize this.
2006-10-10 11:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can either live with it, or divorce him. You can make all the effort, go to counseling, be the only one compromising, and live the rest of your life feeling worthless and unloved, like everything is and always will be your fault. Or you can divorce his sorry @ss and find someone else that will treat you with the respect you deserve. I feel for you, I am in the same situation. Just remember that it's not your fault no matter what you decide to do. Good Luck.
2006-10-10 17:20:49 · answer #2 · answered by lost 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling for yourself. I went for 8 years then divorced. I couldn't get my ex to go either. I learned how to deal with the situation and to be strong. I also figured out what I needed and wanted in a relationship. 16 years later I have been with someone else and all is well and healthy. We are even getting married again. We have a civil marriage and now are going into church for a real spritual event.
2006-10-10 17:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling for your own sake to cope with this.
Hopefully you don't have children together, as if he is this stubborn and won't compromise the marriage will not last.
Marriage is about compromise.
Good luck.
2006-10-10 17:17:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you find him boring in conversation and boring to go anywhere with? Is he boring in bed? These type people are generally always right, criticizes everthing you do, never say they're sorry, selfish, their way or the highway, etc. You will nver manage him unless he is willing to change and that means going to counseling and they still may not change. If you are young, don't waste your life with him. However, that is just my opinion.
2006-10-10 17:11:38 · answer #5 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was engaged to that guy! He wasn't that critical, though. This is mean, but when I left him, he shaped up and begged me to come back. So maybe a trial separation? Sounds like bad advice, and I feel bad giving it, but I really believe he was shaping up. He is a changed man even now, but I knew I couldn't live with OTHER things... he smoked and drank beer almost daily.
2006-10-10 19:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why waste your time and life on something you cannot control? He is a lost cause, he is not going to change. I have never understood why people stay in dead end marriages or relationships. It would beat me down to nothing, I don't have the patience for it. Three years is too long........
2006-10-10 17:16:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A passive aggressive man!?
Now thats a *****!
I don't know.
I respond very poorly to passive aggression.
2006-10-10 17:08:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
With a lawyer honey. Don't waste precious time. Life is too short to be miserable.
Good luck
2006-10-10 17:05:54 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get an attorney to assist you. Maybe then he will understand that you are a tad tetchy.
2006-10-10 17:11:10 · answer #10 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋