My BF is an alcoholic. He admits to it. The good part (if you can call it that) he always drinks at home, NEVER drives, holds a good job, is an excellent employee and is the sweetest man ever when he's sober.
The bad part is having to watch him self destruct, ruin his health, we can never go anywhere at night because he is drunk and sometimes when he's drunk he starts fights that turn into MAJOR battles.
I know that it's the alcohol that makes him act this way, but at times I really can't deal with it.
I know they have groups for alocoholics, but does anyone know of a group to help me deal with an alcoholic BF?
2006-10-10 09:46:25 · 13 answers · asked by MCS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) is not only for alcoholics. Go to their website and poke around. They have meetings that you can attend as well as other resources.
2006-10-10 09:54:40 · answer #1 · answered by Achaholic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's great that he can admit that he is an alcoholic, but the alcohol is still the most important thing to him (addiction). You should be able to find an Alcoholics Anonymous group in your area or similar group by looking online, but it needs to start with him wanting to be helped. If it's you and not him, usually the groups tend to be more unsuccessful. You shouldn't have to deal with it. Unfortunately, you may have to leave him or always play second fiddle to his addiction unless he cares more for you than the bottle. Kicking an addiction is far from easy and takes time, but if he is willing to try than you should be there to support him (which it sounds like you are willing to do). If not, then you need to face the reality that you aren't as important as you think to him and to let him know that you are looking for a stable boyfriend. Many times, people with addictions can trade one addiction for another (i.e. drinking, smoking, gambling, etc....) so you might have your work cut out for you. If he wants to change and is willing to change, then you can support his change and stay together. Otherwise, you are opening yourself to unnecessary heartache & pain.
2006-10-10 10:34:27 · answer #2 · answered by Falcon Boy Toy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Al-anon meetings for you. You can't change him, he has to want to change himself. He can get help a AA meetings and there are lots of books on Alcoholic Anonymous. Please be careful and do not enable him. If he really loves you he would go but there is always a chance that he would go and drink again. So I do suggest you research this more before making a decision. If he starts to fight and it starts to get out of control get out of there and seek help fast.
2006-10-10 10:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find an Al-anon group. I think that is how you spell it. It is for family and friends are alcoholics. Here is their website, there should be a group near you or you can call someone. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html Good luck with everything and if it does not get better, then you need to get out before one of his drunken rages gets dangerous for you.
2006-10-10 09:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you try telling him how you feel?I've been through this myself except it was my father.My pops was an alcoholic but I stopped him,actually God stopped him but my sister and I helped.We through away all the beer and we sort of kept bothering him.We were always around him.Spend quality time with your boyfriend,in the house.And if your not an atheist,then pray for him.Praying won't kill you.and on a sneak tip,put holy water on him,the stuff works!
2006-10-10 09:53:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't drink with him, stray away some, keep busy and don't give in to him when he is drinking. Tell him how he is in a letter when he is drunk and not how it makes you feel but state the obvious and see where it goes from there. Drunkards only stop when they want to, not when anyone else, i know........
2006-10-10 09:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by momma whitley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.... maybe you can help him? Try working with him... Instead of a drink, why dont make love? Or instead of a drink try going out to eat or a movie.
Thats all the help I can give on this one. Sorry
Best of luck sweetie!!!
2006-10-10 09:50:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself he is sweet when he is sober, but he is never sober. You can't deal with him until he gets help for himself. You shouldn't have to deal with him. He should want to do this for you. Let him know your aren't going to tolerate this anymore, and tell him to seek help or get out.
2006-10-10 09:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by Rob B 69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went thru this also and yes al-anon is a good group, check out their website it will answer alot of you questions. Just remeber you can't help him until he wants to help himself.
2006-10-10 10:02:19 · answer #9 · answered by scorpiobby20 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him before you get married. Otherwise, he will be the alcoholic husband.
2006-10-10 09:50:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋