Pregnant and fed up!?

Question

I feel so guilty!
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and fed up. I feel so guily as I tried for years to have this baby

I took maternity leave at 29 weeks but I'm so bored stuck at home all day!!!!! Plus we are REALLY struggling for money now that my wage has gone. Won't be able to think about returning to work (and will need to find another job) until March.

Can't afford to go out and do anything. Can't drive as my car is on the fritz. Used to live a very busy life (work 40 hrs a week, took 6 hours of dance classes and music lessons, always on the go) but now all I do is get up, eat, walk the dogs, watch telly, play about online, go to bed, sleep, get up etc.

I feel so fed up. So isolated and lonely. I'm even looking forward to ante natal classes each week as they let me get out of the house for a couple of hours!

I love my baby so much and am looking forward to him being here -

Does it get better?? Is this normal?? I hate my life right now! I feel so down!

Yeah I know I shouldn't have taken Maternity Leave so early, its just its my first pregnancy and I was feeling so sick and ill in the summer that I couldn't wait to stop work - Plus I hated my job and managers and I had £1500 holiday pay I'd had lost if I didn't take it - so I took it in September and my Mat Leave started afterwards.

I won't be going back to the same job afterwards - I'll have to start looking for something else in the new year (something more local and more flexible hours). I'm just so fed up and feel I'm to blame for us having no money. I feel like I made such a mistake. But my boss won't let me go back now and noone else will employ me because I'm heavily pregnant!!! I wish the baby was here!

Answer 1

it definately gets better once hes here you wont have time to be bored!! everyone gets fed up at some point when they're pregnant no matter how much the baby is wanted. its hormones and the fact that yove gone from being busy and working to suddenly doing nothing. make the most of it march will be here in no time!!!

Answer 2

You could volunteer at a local charity shop for a day a week - that'll be a 4 hour shift and I'm sure they'd be glad of any help. OR you could make a few quid by posing for a life drawing class (with undies on if you're feeling shy) - trust me (I'm an art student), the opportunity to sketch a pregnant model does not come often! (and it pays well)

I felt the same but I had 6 months of isolation. Why haven't you developed a healthy Neighbours/Doctors addiction yet? And your nesting will kick in soon...so that'll keep you busy.

Maybe spend this time on your music too? Because in a few weeks' time you'll barely have time to sh*t, let alone tinker with an instrument! I found being pregnant very inspirational, from a creative viewpoint...

And what's wrong with the odd bus ride? Surely you're not one of those hideous transport snobs?? A bus ride is cheap and will get you out and about. You don't even have to get off if you don't want to.

Answer 3

We've all been there -- I stopped working 2 months before I delivered (I worked in surgery and it was too hard being on my feet)... so I totally understand...I chose not to go back to work right away and now I'm at home all day with a 6 month old, which is a blessing and a curse. Don't worry about how you're feeling right now because it is very normal and the best thing you can do is try and get out -- even if it is for a walk or call a friend for lunch or something....I love being home with my son even now, but often get depressed because of the lack of mental stimulation, no money, one car (hubby's), etc..... Feel free to e-mail me if you need some support!!!

Answer 4

Gee, it´s normal. Especially when you had such a full life before.
But being pregnant does not mean you are sick. You stopped your wonderful life, all hobbies, all nice things in your life, of course an active person like you gets a depression just sitting at home.
So move, meet people, pursue your hobbies. Go to your boss and tell him you would like to help out a few hours till you are due. Fix a date when you can go back to work after your maternity leave.
You can still go dancing, play music, paint, swim, meet people.
Enjoy your life, your baby will be much happier, too.
Good luck.
And when your baby is here, you can do even more. Just take him everywhere you are going. he will adore his active mom.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I had terrible hormonal swings when I was pregnant and you might be suffering the same. There is some evidence that feeling down whilst you are pregnant is a precursor to post natal depression, so you might want to mention your feelings to your midwife next time you see her because it might be worth keeping an eye on.

But it is very frustrating being pregnant. It can seem an eternity before your baby makes an appearance. I went on maternity leave 4 weeks before my baby was due and I suddenly felt very isolated. It can seem almost demeaning to go from a busy working life to seemingly having nothing to do. It can be a very difficult time.

As you don't have much money, why not try getting involved in your local mother and baby groups. Many of them welcome nearly-mums and it'll be a great way of getting to know other mums ready for when you're one too and for getting advice and tips on coping with a new born. You'll probably find that many of them are in the same financial situation as you and they may have ideas for free and cheap places to take your baby to once he or she is born. If you're planning on breast feeding, your local Breast Mates group or La Leche League will also welcome you, even if you have yet to give birth. You could find that you have a whole new circle of friends and plenty more to do in a very short period of time.

Answer 6

Hang in there. You are at the point where you are ready to have this over with. The first 2months will be adjusting to haveing a new person at home as well. It does get better. My little guy is 6 months old now. It does get boring staying at home all the time I agree. Call a friend. Invite some friends over for a game night or a night of card playing. You don't have to go out and spend a lot of money to have an enjoyable time.

Answer 7

Aww, Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time, I did the exact opposite, and finished work the same day that I went in to hospital to have my daughter and thats rubbish too.

I guess given my time again I'd do what you have and finish in plenty of time to be just me, alone, and relax lots.

I know its quite isolating now, but most midwifery services have other things you can attend, and get to know other mums to be - mine did swimming for pregnant ladies (like at antenatal clases - I bet some of the others are at home and bored too!).

You could also look up your local Sure Start service, its not just for young parents and those who may struggle, they offer lots of things for mums to be too, and will be invaluable after your baby is born ( I felt so stranded and desolate for the first 6 weeks or so that I can really sympathise!)

Other than that I guess I would just say try to enjoy the slower pace of life, and relax as much as you can, as you will have very little personal time for a while after your baby is born.

Hope this helps a little

Good luck!

Alicesmummy

Answer 8

Pregnancy sucks and how you feel is totally normal. Hormones magnify the situation. Don't feel bad know it's normal.

With my 2nd kid I was done at 12 weeks and felt the same way guilty because we tried so long. Just remember after that baby comes out all the other crap just goes away!!!!!!

After reading the other response I have to add that quiting your job was NOT that bad. If it was stressful and you hated it then it was a good thing good for you and baby. Don't feel guilty about quiting a job you hated! Plus if you had a long drive that is no fun either and what happens if baby would come on the way to work one day...not fun!

Answer 9

Your emotions are just all over the place is all! Things will get better, than they probably aren't that bad anyways. It is tough, I know I sat home alone after I had to stop working, about the same time as you. Try doing things like setting up the baby's room, and washing all the little clothes and folding them, or even making something for baby. I wrote my daughter a long letter and story about how pregnancy was with her and I will give it to see someday. Plus, you could maybe join a group or something or get the girls together for brunch once a week. Good Luck!

Answer 10

First of all and you probably already know this, but you should have worked up until you had the baby(if it was possible) It will get better.... Do you have any friends you can go visit fold the baby clothes paint the wall in the babies room. I have 4 children and took maternity leave for 3 months and was soooo ready to go back to work after..I felt the same way, but trust me when that baby comes it is all worth it and will get better.

Answer 11

aww hun, dont worry. You are almost finished. You made it this far, not too much longer now :)
It is totally normal. When I was pregnant I was not able to do much at all. Money was tight (still is) and it seemed my only time out of the house was my doctors appointment or ultrasound appointment. I actually ended up in a wheelchair for the last week of my pregnancy.
Be thankful you can still get out to walk the dogs, that in itself is a huge thing.
Try connecting with other expecting moms. You may still be stuck in the house but you can talk to other moms who are in the same position as you, on the internet. A great website I spent a great deal of time on when I couldnt get out of my house was http://www.ivillage.com

Just try to keep busy, either by getting things ready for your soon to come baby or just doing things to get the days going by quicker. Take up a hobby, check out silly things that are offered by your community. I know that where I live there was all kinds of things offered from 'caligraphy writing to belly dance for the pregnant woman'

I also read A LOT..it sucks, but like I said it will be over soon and you'll be so busy you'll never be bored again, you'll wish you had the amount of quiet time you did while pregnant
(someone said that to me while I was pregnant and I thought "yeah sure, whatever"...its so true, I wish I was bored and well rested, with too much time on my hands like I did when I was pregnant)