The other day when me and my partner of 4 years sat down and discussed our true feelings for each other I explained to him that I still love him as a person because we've been together for so long, but that I'm no longer IN love with him. He didn't seem to comprehend that concept of love vs. being IN love and said to him there is no difference between the two. "Either you love or you don't" he said. To me those are two distinct feelings. Is this a man thing or am I the crazy one here? I'd like for men to answer, but if the ladies have any input feel free to answer as well.
2006-10-10 09:44:32 · 8 answers · asked by october g 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"IN love" is that passionate, silly emotion when all you can think about is HIM....when being with him is more important than breathing.
"Love" is what happens after you've seen him with the flu, realized he can't find put his dirty clothes in the hamper, and really doesn't look that much like
Personally, I'd rather "love" someone than be "IN love" with them. I know "love" is for the long-haul. It's the difference being running a marathon or doing a sprint...."love" lasts, "IN love" comes and goes but is usually short term.
Just my opinion.
2006-10-10 11:36:22 · answer #1 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have my own opinion as does everyone else, I am in a similar situation, and I have a hard time trying to distinguish the two myself. I care for my husband and love him, as in I do not want anything bad to happen to him and only want the best for him, but I am not sure I am in love with him anymore, and yes I guess some would say the infatuation period, but I do not get the butterflies anymore, we hardly ever talk, and we do not get along, so in all I think that there are two different loves... I love my girlfriends because they are my friends but I do not want to spend the rest of my life living with them, sorry probably not much help..
2006-10-10 10:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not quite sure what is it that people mean by saying they "love" someone but not "in love" with them. I *suspect* that being "in love" means to many people "being infatuated"; i.e., that first "high" that you get when you first fall in love with someone, butterflies in your stomach, passionate lovemaking, all that. I'm only guessing, ok, I don't know it. The problem is when people start using this "I'm not *in love* with you" as the grounds to get out of a relationship. Surely when they were making the initial committment they didn't think that the infatuation state would last forever? I personally think that "love" is about as much as one can offer in a relationship; if you "love" the other person, the "in love" part doesn't matter that much.
So, I have to say, I can't quite grasp the distinction between "love" and "in love", unless I define "in love" as infatuation - which I can't possibly expect to last in a long-term relationship; so, I pretty much strive to "love" my husband....
2006-10-10 09:59:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're generalising lots. a girl pal of mine has stated some situations that she would not comprehend why vegetation are a terrific present and that chocolates are used up too at as quickly as. An ex-lady pal used to love sending/recieving enjoying cards and letters and yet another could not be afflicted in any respect with them. it is diverse between human beings. to in part answer although, it is proberly a mix of being embarressing to purchase those variety of issues, uncertain in the event that they had like them, spending money, not very well worth the worry, continuously spoiling the girls interior the courting mutually as she in no way does something in return (intercourse and foreplay isn't in return, by way of fact it is enjoyed by using the two) among different issues.
2016-11-27 19:48:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with him (sorry) but what does that mean?? I agree either you love him or you don't. I always look at that as someone who does not want to hurt my feelings by telling the truth. My wife and I are seperated and I still love her and all she will tell me is it is not about love? What is that, I answered your question with a question, anyway I agree that either you love someone or you don't love someone there can be no inbetweens or it is not true love....true love never dies!
2006-10-10 09:50:51 · answer #5 · answered by jbrown280000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a man and i know exactly what you are saying try to explain in a different way tell him you love him like a brother, and you are not in love with him, see if this helps.
2006-10-10 14:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by Hard Luck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you, two different things.
2006-10-10 09:47:23 · answer #7 · answered by lickablecake123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to side with him, but I agree with him....you either love him, or you don't.......
2006-10-10 09:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋