i have been with my husband for 11 years and i still find it really hard to talk to him about *** and the things i like and dislike have you ever had this prob and if so what have you done to over come it .can you give me any ways i could go about telling him how i feel with out hurting his feelings thanks .
2006-10-10 09:18:15 · 11 answers · asked by kristy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think its the best thing you can do in order to have a successful marriage. you have to be able to talk about everything and I'm sure it would have a great impact in the bedroom
2006-10-10 09:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by >>simple<< 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was with my ex husband for 20 years and I could NEVER tell him what I wanted or liked in bed. EVER!! He was controlling, a liar and cheater, among other things, and I felt very intimidated by him, so no wonder I couldn't say anything to him. I have since left and divorced him. I found someone else and I have NO problem telling him what I like and how I like it. Plus he is sooooooooooooooooo awesome at what he does so I don't have to tell him much. He seems to already know.
What I would suggest is to sit down with him when the both of you are calm, nothing else going on, not in bed, etfc. Let him know that you have something to talk with him about but that it's hard to say it and to please be patient with you while you try to get it out. Then let him know exactly what it is you want or need. Don't say things like 'you do this wrong or that wrong,' or you will offend him. Instead say things like 'I would like it if you di this or that in this or that way,' then he won't be offended. I bet he will be happy that you let him know. Also let him know that he is a great man no matter what he does. Stroke his ego a bit and it should help. I am this way with my fiance and it does wonders. If you are shy and don't let him know what you want and need and how, then he won't know and will continue to do what he is or isn't doing now, which in turn can, and probably will, make you unhappy. They can't read our minds just like we can't read theirs. He will ONLY know if you tell him. So, just tell him!
2006-10-10 10:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends....are you the one that's having a hard time (you said you "still find it really hard....". Or is it him (since you want to spare his feelings).
If it's you, I'd suggest watching a porno movie together, and see how he reacts. What kind of comments does he make?
If you're afraid that it's him, trust me....just bring it up. I'll bet he's dying to talk about it too, but doesn't know you're also interested in taking about it and maybe coming up with some new things to try.
2006-10-10 09:22:38 · answer #3 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did not have a hard time telling my estrange husband about what I like and don't like in bed. If your husband is really concern about getting YOU off and PLEASING you. Then your love making is one sided. My question is do YOU know what YOU like in bed? Because if you don't know you can't tell him and he is to go on thinking he is rocking your world. If you do know, then while you are making love, tell him" baby go here, go there, stay right there, fast slow". Trust me men like to know that they are PLEASING their woman. You won't hurt his feeling, he probably would more hurt if he found out that all this time he thought he was doing it right , just to find out you were happy with your sex life.
2006-10-10 09:24:29 · answer #4 · answered by TBobb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to be uncomfortable talking about sex, but my b/f is a very open person. He just plain asked me what I liked and didn't like. He told me that if I didn''t tell him, then he wouldn't not know how to make me feel good.
2006-10-10 11:32:28 · answer #5 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communication is key in a relationship so talk to him about it....i mean sex it's about what makes you feel good and dont' affend him just give him some suggestions and also ask for his suggestions.
2006-10-10 09:21:05 · answer #6 · answered by @@@???? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Love and marriage are about communication if you want things to work out. Get over yourself, then speak up for yourself.
2006-10-10 09:20:19 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We don't have that problem but if you do I might suggest that you sell it to him like he's going to get more out of s.e.x if he listens to your suggestions. This is not far from the truth since if your're having more intense s.e.x. than he will be having more intense s.e.x.
2006-10-10 09:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes because my husband is prudish.
2006-10-10 09:19:49 · answer #9 · answered by jenlovely01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is hard to talk to my wife about that
2006-10-10 09:42:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋