She came over and asked to borrow some lighter fluid and I let her in while I went to get it out of the garage... She was completely naked when I returned.. She got very upset that I did not have sex with her...Iam afraid that my wife will find out about this and think I did it with her.....I know my wife and she is very paranoid about the ladies I work with ...my buddies wives or girlfriends....She does not trust me ...and I have never cheated in the 13 years together...I could have many times but I have not....Should I tell my wife I want to but...I am afraid it will open up a a big mess ...she will think I lead her on or something ....the truth is best.. but I know my wife????
2006-10-10 09:17:24 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should be honest with your wife. If not and she finds out anyway it would look bad. Just explain to her exactly what happened and that you told Viki to leave. Hopefully she will understand, and realize that you are being honest and upfront. Good luck!
2006-10-10 09:22:45 · answer #1 · answered by ♥cinnamonmj♥ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her dude!!! If you let this broad lie to her about the whole thing before she confesses the truth, then there will be SERIOUS PROBLEMS!!!
Bigger question though: Why is your wife so insecure? It is insecure about herself, relationship, or what? Dude, after you squash this, you need to confront her REAL problem...her insecurities. This leads to A LOT of problems within a marriage. It brings along an uneeded burden. Your relationship can be so much more without that "Thing" hanging over your heads.
If she cant handle the truth about the matter, then that will be her loss. There's a lot of women out there who has no problems w/ insecurity and you should'nt have to deal with these issues if you dont want to. You dont need the stress man.
Straighten out this problem, and then confront your (Her)real issue via marriage counseling. Her problems could come from something so small, that you'd be upset that you never faced it head on before. Good luck man, and stay away from Viki!!!
2006-10-10 09:25:35 · answer #2 · answered by diaz276 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her.
You need her to hear the story from you, not someone else. A woman who would try a trick like this might also tell your wife that you DID do something in order to break up your marriage. If you don't tell her and she finds out some other way, she will never believe your story.
If she doesn't believe you, then she needs to go to counseling and learn to lighten up. I understand jealousy, but you can't let it ruin your life. She needs to get her fears under control.
In the future, don't let any women in the house when you are there alone. It might look bad to a casual observer. I certainly hope that any neighbors with good intentions would not be offended by your request to stand on the porch and wait.
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2006-10-10 09:18:36 · answer #3 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should tell you wife. You didn't do anything wrong. Your neighbor did. You have to choose your words very carefully so it doesn't sound like you're trying to cover anything up but you have to tell her before anyone else does. And your neighbor sounds nutty enough that she might be the one to tell your wife, and who knows what her story would sound like?
Your wife should have no reason to be angry with you. You didn't make your nut-bag neighbor strip in the garage and you didn't do anything with her except make her go home. Your wife needs to learn how to trust you because obviously you've chosen to do the right thing ! Your wife will have to learn how to trust you. If she doesn't then your marrige is doomed anyway, it's just a matter of time.
2006-10-10 09:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by dcgirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually I would say keep it to yourself. But if your neighbor was pissed off, then she's probably going to try to get some revenge on you. You should tell your wife that you want to tell her something, but if she doesn't listen to you completely before jumping the gun, then you are not going to tell her. Let her know that you wouldn't be telling her this if you didn't think that she'd believe you. Then tell her. At the end, if she doesn't believe you, tell her that "Why is she with you if she doesn't trust you? You came and told her something that she probably will never find out about unless you told her. She should have complete trust in you b/c of what you are telling her." Remember: you don't and didn't have to tell her anything. So if she flips out on you, then flip the script. Act extremely pissed off at her and emphasize the fact that you can't be with someone that doesn't trust you. And well if you don't tell her and she finds out, she's going to think you did something behind her back.
2006-10-10 09:25:19 · answer #5 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, what kind of marriage do you have if your wife does not trust you? You must have been flirting this woman to give her the idea that you might have sex with her, maybe that is why your wife does not trust you. Do you find yourself in these kinds of situations often? If you do, there is a reason why. Even if you do not intend on having sex, trying to get attention from women while you're married, can lead to trouble. Think about it!
2006-10-10 09:24:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a girlfriend like that. I had to let her go. Obviously you made the commitment to love, honor, and obey till death do you part. So you have to let her know the exact truth don't forget to explain the whole situation. Because if Viki is really upset that you didn't give her the long one she might want to lie that she did in order to get you back. Good Luck Bro.
2006-10-10 09:25:58 · answer #7 · answered by Devilz Backbone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth IS best. Better to tell her now, and take whatever comes - than to let her find out through the grape vine. Trust me, that will be alot worse.
Be honest, be upfront, tell her that you love her, and that you didn't do anything - and you wanted to be honest about what happened - because you care about her and wouldn't want to do anything that would hurt her. I'm sure she will be upset, any women would. But if you word it right, it will be the neighbor she wants to take out.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-10 09:23:31 · answer #8 · answered by jt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will find out...it's better to go to your wife and tell her what this Viki did before Viki tells her, making you look like the guilty party. Clearly express how uncomfortable it made you feel and that you'd prefer to not have anything to do with this neighbor again.
2006-10-10 09:20:47 · answer #9 · answered by KL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your wife what happened...call her...and tell her you would never keep something like this from her. I'm sure the woman you turned down will act in spite and try to hurt you in some way for doing what was right. I will say a prayer for ya.
2006-10-10 09:21:02 · answer #10 · answered by :-) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋