I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 8 months now. We have both said "I love you" long ago, and we both know we care about each other deeply. However, in our relationship, my boyfriend is the one who is always expressing his emotions, telling me how he feels most of the time, saying deep, meaningful, amazing things to me....and the problem is, I cannot say them back. Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming to hear such things said to and about me....but if I truly love him shouldn't I be able to respond? I just cannot verbalize my feelings like he can, and it's beginning to become a problem, for both of us.
He has mentioned that sometimes he would like to hear how I feel about him too...and I would love to be like he is, wearing his emotions on his sleeve, but something is holding me back.
Have any women had a similar experience? Could this mean I don't truly love him, or he isn't the one, etc? Please, no rude answers.
Thanks!
2006-10-10 09:08:10 · 4 answers · asked by seinwiz83 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
It does sound like he is the emotional one in the relationship. People experience and give love in different ways. Some people feel loved mostly through physical touch, some through meaningful conversation, some through time spent together. You should really, really read the book called The Five Love Languages. It has a quiz to tell you and your partner what your dominant love style is, and it tells you exactly what to do to for each type of person. once he understands how you give and receive love he should be able to meet your needs and understand why it is hard for you to respond back to him in his style. I think the author's name is Gary Chapman. It's a really easy read.
2006-10-10 09:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by sixgun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him how you feel? Maybe he just needs to hear it. Tell him. You want to be like he is, but you're just not. Tell him how you do feel but don't be intimidated if you can't express it the way he does. Sounds to me like he just needs to hear it. But yeah, it can be overwhelming to hear a man talk to you that way; we're not used to it. It doesn't have to mean anything other than maybe you're just a little slower than he is. I'm veyr protective of my feelings, so anyone who comes on really strong really fast scares the life out of me. lol Take it slow, ask him for his patience; if he truly loves you, he'll give it to you without question. If he has a problem with giving you space, then maybe that instinct to hold back is a good one, you know? IOW, that could be something telling you something. I have a very good gut instinct and when I really listen to it, it never leads me wrong. the problem I have is distinguishing that instinct (which is that veyr soft voice in the back of your mind) from what I call the "chatter"--the worry and the daily life stuff and the emotions and the intellect, etc, etc. Give it time. In time, your question will answer itself; you'll just know, without a doubt.
2006-10-10 16:34:25 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its jsut how you are, people express the way they feel about eachother differently. Give him some flowers and a nice just because card. Watch a movie at home and be extremely affectionate with him by hugging and kissing him. Do this every so often to satisfy his need to feel loved!
2006-10-10 16:15:51 · answer #3 · answered by Curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the exact same way. Like exactly the same. We're in the same situation. It makes me feel really bad sometimes. I feel like maybe I'm not good enough or I hurt him. I constantly have to explain to him that I just can't find the words to describe my feelings for him.
I'm sure he's probably the right one. Just because you can't explain your feelings doesn't mean you don't love him or he's not the one. Just try and explain your situation.
It'll all work out.
2006-10-10 16:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by Maggie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋