Help! I am a 50 y.o. man, and for the last year, the only way I've been able to reach climax is by?

Question

picturing the Little Mermaid. Does anyone else have this fantasy? My wife keeps asking me why I close my eyes every time we make love, and I can't tell her the truth. . .even worse, I've spent our entire savings account on costumes for the hookers I see. I've even paid for singing lessons for a couple of them, so they can do the songs for the movie. This is ruining my life! What should I do?

Answer 1

are you joking?

Answer 2

Mermaids are the oldest fantasy know to mankind.
Since your fetish affects your life you should consider treatment.
There are two possible treatments for fetishism: cognitive therapy and psychoanalysis. Both may be supported by an additional medication treatment.
Cognitive therapy seeks to change the patient's behavior without analyzing how and why it shows up. It is based on the idea that fetishism is the result of conditioning or imprinting. The therapy is not able to change the patient's sexual preference itself but can only suppress the resulting unwanted behavior.
Psychoanalysis tries to spot the traumatic unconscious experience that caused the fetishism in first instance.

Answer 3

Hey stop it !! Stop GOING to strip clubs and stop picturing something else when you are making love to your wife!! Look you are with your wife and she is not a mermaid. So you need to get this out of your head. Maybe you guys should try new stuff in bed ??? Ever thought about that? Get a mirror or something. Or buy a mermaid costum for her.

Answer 4

It all seems perfectly normal to me. Me personally, I've always had a thing for smurfette from the Smurfs cartoon. My wife got suspicious when we bought some body paint one evening for something sensual to do and I ended up painting her entire body smurf blue. She said the purpose of the painting was to make designs and use pretty color coordinations on our bodies and I just painted her entire body blue. I will say it was the most exciting thing I've ever done in my life though... and she was a gorgeous creature with her silkly blue skin like that. When the Xmen movies came out and Rebecca Romjin (sp) had that blue skin in all of the movies I almost went wild in the theatre. Boy would I like to smurf her right on the smurfing floor with my smurf between her smurfs and all up and down and jiggly on her smurfs until I smurf all over myself. Your issues with the little mermaid are normal dude, don't let all these repressed people in here make you feel like some sort of deviant or pervert.

Answer 5

Sounds like your fantasy is about yourself!!!What are you SHAMMO?
Why don't you just watch the movie while with your wife if it is really as you say? I bet you made it up and when you read the answers you beat your monkey? Course that's better than soomeone else having to deal with your sick sorry ***.

Answer 6

That is scary. The Little Mermaid is only 16 in the movie. May hap you are a closet pedophile?

Answer 7

You should get some help quick!!!! I don't think that its fair to your wife. You need to be honest with her. But, if you was my husband I would have to beat your *** for spending all that money. Have you ever asked your wife to do some of these things that you have paid for?

Answer 8

Tell your wife get divorced and apply for a job w/ Disney

Answer 9

Well, I wouldn't tell her while she is in the kitchen cutting meat. Honestly, you need some help to get a handle on this. You need to see a shrink.

Answer 10

Move to LA and get a job with Disney!

Answer 11

Well, thats not as bad as fantasizing about that bird with Buddy Hacket voice........