Moved to another state and she hates it, what to do?

Question

My wife and I have been married for 11 years and have a great relationship. She lived in Georgia her whole life and I lived there for 12 years, we were less than 30 minutes away from both sets of parents and had many friends. I was offered a great opportunity in Texas and we made the decision to take it. I have been here over a year and my family just moved out 4 months ago. She is very unhappy as we have unfriendly neighbors and since she does not work outside of the home she is all alone all day. We get along great, it just kills me to see her so down. Anyone experience something similiar and got any ideas?

Answer 1

Exact experience almost.
I met my (now husband) on the internet. I lived in Tn all my life. I later moved to Ga to be with him. I left all of my family there. I hated living in Ga away from my family. The whole first year I was against trying to adjust. My husband talked to me about it. He said give it a try. At least a try. If I still don't like it he will move with me back to my home town. So I figured if he was going to do that... then I should give it a try. I actually got to know his family, I started working made many friends. I began to like it. However, I lost my mom 2 years later... It seemed I was better off in Ga. My family couldnt make the trips to see me. I hardly got to see them because of my work. But.... 4 years later.. we had a son... I asked to move back to my home town. My husband kept his word... and here we are... back in TN. My husband actually likes it here... and his sister and niece are now moving here tomorrow!!!!!

Sometimes someone is set on staying put.. they dont like change.. like me... and if one of you all stay miserable... its going to be tough. I feel for her... hating where she is at... being away from her family... I really feel you should look at it this way..
Is your job more important than your wife's happiness? Sometimes it comes down to that. It isn't really selfish. She did agree to move. Ask her to try to like it. If she still cannot find any good out of this move then I would suggest to move back.
Nothing is permanant

Answer 2

Love is about sacrifice sometimes. She has made a huge sacrifice for you to take a great job.

Starting off in a new town is never easy, especially when you have such deep roots somewhere else. You either need to get out and go meet some new people, or start packing up your crap and head back to Georgia. In my personal opinion a great job is not worth a crappy homelife. Maybe a coed softball league or some kind of weekly activity where you can meet a lot of new people.
Especially be careful of your arguements. If you two start fighting her world is really gonna suck.

Don't let a couple of bad neighbors ruin texas, there are a lot of warm caring people in that state, a little arrogant, but still nice.

Answer 3

I've moved on many occasions, the last move to a little Podunk town. She needs to make a decision on if she's going to sit and home and be depressed or get out and make a life for herself and the family. Four months is hardly enough time to test the waters. Encourage her to get involved in the children's school by volunteering, at the local library or any other organization. Maybe encourage her to join a ladies gym. I've met many of my current friends through the gym and through the kids' school. Finally, get out and start exploring your new home as a family. You can't begin to enjoy or respect your new town if you don't get out!

Good luck!

Answer 4

I have relatives in Texas and they have told me people in Texas are not friendly unless they are trying to push Jesus on you.

You have a tough decision to make here whether to stay or go (money cannot buy happiness). I would recommend that the wife and you find some social groups in things you like to do. You may also want to consider moving to a friendlier neighborhood. Other contacts can be you co-workers and their families.

Good luck.

Answer 5

aww thats thoughtful to see you want her happy and that it kills you to see her this unhappy. Why dont' you try haveing her join some groups in your community. even if she doesn't stick to it for long she may make friends and can go from there.

or how about something she enjoys doing whether thats arts and crafts or gardening there are clubs for everything these days and she can get together with people.. I m sure once she makes some friends she won't feel so isolated .

She can even join in sports.. tennis , golf, what ever she's into.

if she says no to all that how about volunteering in something she misses from back home or enjoys again it gets her out and meeiting people and she feel valued.

good luck. keep searching

Answer 6

Talk to her about giving it a "trial" period. Maybe the 2 of you can agree on a certain length of time...1 year, 2 years, whatever. After that, revisit the issue of moving back.

If it's only been 4 months, she doesn't seem like she's given herself enough time to adjust. Remember, it takes many women longer to connect to a community.

It's important that she feels that her voice is heard. She probably feels like that's all she's got left.

Answer 7

No. The first point I'd like to make is that I have to pick myself up off the floor from HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER when I read anything from the Right cowering in fear over "an Orwellian society." Too damn funny. Did I miss something? Are large numbers of Reichtwingers finally waking up after eight years of slumber and apathy? Secondly, here is an excerpt from that BLOG you posted, "the House voted to pass federal hate crimes legislation yesterday that elevates one class of victims of crime for higher federal protections than everyone else" Dear? If "one class of victims of crime" are TARGETED over "everyone else" then plainly we need to enact legislation to protect them. And lastly, I loathe having to actually POINT THIS OUT, but in civilized societies, the most vile of human beings (in some people's opinions) have exactly, precisely, to-the-letter SAME Constitutional rights and protection under the law as you or I or anyone else. When I read all the hatred directed towards certain people -- sorry, that is nothing but vigilantism.

Answer 8

Join some clubs.. take her out to places.. volunteer for some charities, these are some ideas to meet new friends. Invite old friends out for a visit!