English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

The half-yearly reports analysis of the biggest companies reported on the Warsaw stock market, prove that in the first half of the year the Executive Boards earnings were increasing faster than the average remuneration in the economy

2006-10-10 08:10:56 · 20 answers · asked by AsMa 1 in Education & Reference Words & Wordplay

20 answers

Well, it looks like you've collected some decent advice -- and some bad advice. (The ex-journalist's rewrite is pretty good; the English major needs to take more classes.)

Here's the stuff worth listening to:

1. Some folks have suggested that "half-yearly" should be "semi-annual." They are correct.

2. The first instance of "reports" should have an apostrophe, as I suspect you meant it to be possessive. However, someone else has suggested trimming the number of "report" words, and this is even better advice. A "semi-annual analysis" is a good fix.

3. Some folks have suggested "show" or "demonstrate" as alternatives to "prove." The new words are better, but in all cases, whatever word you pick needs to have an -s at the end of it. The subject of the sentence is "analysis," not "companies"!

4. Get rid of the comma after "market" and add one after "year."

5. Only the journalist and one other fellow have caught that there is a problem with "Boards." Their suggestions are half-right. You are talking about multiple companies here, and multiple boards. The apostrophe should therefore go after the -s, like so: Boards'.

6. By "remuneration," do you mean average salaries? If so, say so. This big word isn't helping -- it's muddying things.

7. Put a period at the end of the sentence.

8. Along the way, I'd personally get rid of "reported," replace some of your "the" words with "a" articles, and add "rest of" before economy.

Ergo ...

"A semi-annual analysis of the biggest companies on the Warsaw stock market shows that in the first half of the year, the Executive Boards' earnings were increasing faster than average salaries in the rest of the economy."

Note, finally, that our interpretations of what you *mean* by your sentence vary quite a bit on this message board. That means that -- worse than a grammar problem -- you have a *clarity* problem. I'd worry about that first, and grammar second.

2006-10-10 08:28:47 · answer #1 · answered by Graythebruce 3 · 1 0

An analysis of half-yearly (or bi-annual) reports of the biggest companies represented on the Warsaw Stock Market proves that in the first half of the year the earnings of members of the Executive Boards were increasing at a faster rate than the average earnings for that country.

I think this makes more sense.

2006-10-10 08:54:48 · answer #2 · answered by cate 4 · 0 0

Analysis of the mid-year reports of the major companies listed on the Warsaw stock market would indicate that over the first half of the financial year the Executive Boards earnings increased at a higher rate than the national average wage increase.

2006-10-11 05:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by Milidh 1 · 0 0

Lose the comma after "market", insert a comma after "year" and an apostrophe after "Boards". Put in a full stop at the end and you have a grammatically correct sentence.

It is, however, rather long and you might consider splitting it into two sentences:

"The half-yearly reports of the biggest companies reported on the Warsaw stock market were analysed. They prove that in the first half of the year, the Executive Boards' earnings were increasing faster than the average remuneration in the economy."

2006-10-10 08:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by Jellicoe 4 · 1 0

The semi-annual analysis of the biggest companies traded on the Warsaw Stock Exchange show that in the first half of the year the Executive Boards's earnings were increasing faster than the average income.

I changed 'half-yearly' to 'semi-annual' and made 'Boards' possessive. I replaced the last 4 words with something much more common. What is the Warsaw stock market called?

2006-10-10 08:23:46 · answer #5 · answered by tbolling2 4 · 2 0

Sounds close to me .. a couple small changes might help.

The half-yearly report's analysis of the biggest companies listed on the Warsaw stock market proves that in the first half of the year, the Executive Board's earnings were increasing faster than the average earnings of the Warsaw stock market.

2006-10-10 08:18:07 · answer #6 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 0 0

Too many 'report' words in one sentence.

The half-yearly reports analysis of the biggest companies trading on the Warsaw stock market prove (demonstrate is also good here) that in the first half of the year the Executive Board's earnings were increasing faster than the average remuneration in the economy

I don't know if Boards is singular or plural, so I put it in as singular. Plural would be Boards'.

2006-10-10 08:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

The half-yearly reports analysis of the biggest companies reported on the Warsaw stock market prove that in the first half of the year the Executive Boards earnings were increasing faster than the average remuneration in the economy.

(no commas)

2006-10-10 08:13:21 · answer #8 · answered by lillyofthesticks 2 · 3 1

Analysis of the semi-annual reports of the top( ? number)largest companies on the Warsaw stock exchange indicates that in the first two quarters, the salaries of the members of the
Executive Boards of those companies increased at a greater rate than the average salaries in the rest of the work force.

When you write "Executive Boards earnings" I take it you mean salaries of Exec. Board members. If this is the case, earnings is not a good word to use since it usually implies company earnings. If I have misunderstood your meaning, then disregard this change.

2006-10-10 08:37:33 · answer #9 · answered by True Blue 6 · 0 0

Maybe...
The semi-annual reports on the Warsaw stock market, prove that in the first half of the year the Executive Boards earnings were increasing faster than the average remuneration in the economy.

I would think that it isn't necessary to state that the reports are of the biggest companies (it is assumed) because you indicate a report of Warsaw, which is known to be a large company.

Just a thought. Take care!

2006-10-10 08:17:16 · answer #10 · answered by polishedamethyst 6 · 0 2

fedest.com, questions and answers