2006-10-10 08:00:23 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with counselling. If you cannot afford it, buy a self help book. You need to diagnose the problem and find a solution or your marriage is going to be miserable.
If you are religious, many churches offer free or almost free programs/retreats that help couples to open up to each other more.
My husband and I had similar issues prior to getting married, only I was the failed communicator. It turned out I was just afraid of rejection so I failed to speak my mind. We were able to work through what we needed to.
2006-10-10 08:05:23 · answer #1 · answered by Sativa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you both argue, then neither of you know how to communicate. Agree that when one or the other of you have problems or want to discuss something, instead of arguing, which can lead to accusations and all sorts of undesirable things, that you will both hear each other out without interruption. And be sure you each acknowledge that you can agree to disagree and the world won't come to an end. If the arguments are about small things, you both need to work on not getting all worked up about something that really doesn't matter. And realize that you are two individuals with different likes, dislikes, and opinions. You must have something going for you if you are married. Developing a sense of humor will also help.
2006-10-10 08:07:48 · answer #2 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, from the sound of it, you two are communicating.
There was some research that found that arguing couples last longer than non-arguing couples due to the increased communications.
There can be problems for instance when the arguments turn into name calling or are petty.
Examine your arguments, what is the source of each argument; how many different real issues are there; can the issue ever be solved. i.e., do you and your husband share a common value that you could agree on.
Perhaps, a single joint counseling session with a neutral mediator could solve this stuff.
2006-10-10 08:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes 2 to argue, so maybe you don't know how to communicate either. I hope that you are not throwing that in his face during your arguments. Believe it or not, people don't communicate well with people who don't listen or are being judgemental, it will just result in an argument or that person shutting down. I'm not accusing you of these things, all I am saying is maybe you should try a different approach to getting him to communicate with you. Set the example.
2006-10-10 08:06:49 · answer #4 · answered by MiZmeL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea me and my ex husband argued all the time he had a temper you wouldn't believe it started yelling then he threw things until finally he hit me. Most of our arguments started of me finding out he was cheating on me too. My advice is tell your hubby that you hate the fighting and you know you guys are going down hill and you want to get some help before its to late and see if he is up for maybe some marriage coiling if he doesn't want that then maybe you can get him to go see a preacher that is if you guys go to church they council as well but if he turned down the first offer the second don't call concealing. And it takes change from both sides.
2006-10-10 08:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It must be the season for non-communication because I swear everyone is going through the same thing. The only I can say is since you are married, keep trying to talk about things, I'm not, so I leave when we start arguing. I'm to stressed out to keep trying to be the one that makes everything work but good luck with your situation.
2006-10-10 08:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by Brownie_baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if your both engaging in the argument neither one of you are communicating, except in a negative way. Maybe you should try counciling. Sometime we try communicating the best we can and forget that the words we choose can be like pouring salt in a cut. good luck
2006-10-10 10:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by lostlifehard 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do YOU? It takes two to fight. He just doesn't know how to communicate the way YOU want him to - but then, it sounds like you don't communicate the way HE wants you to. For starters, it would help not to blame the other person for everything; look for the mistakes you're making, and fix them first. Marriage counseling might help.
2006-10-10 08:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counselling
2006-10-10 08:02:09 · answer #9 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
90 percent of these answers are based on his " supposed inability to talk" which is your words. You listed no such ways that you try to sit down and talk to him. As usual all of the answers on here is dump the loser etc, but are you truly sure that you do not lite the fuse on most of those arguments yourself ? because if all the arguments are SUPPOSEDLY his fault then I know that you would have left him a long time ago
2006-10-10 08:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by anton_29207 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋