I have been with my bf for a little over a year now and we live together and I am now seeing that I can actually and do want to marry this guy and be with him for the rest of my life but there is one thing I think about is I am 23 and he is 37, the age does not bother me now but I am thinking in 15, 20, 25 years from now he will age before I will and I get sad thinking what am I going to do without him when he passes away because when he is 70 I will be 56. I know I shouldnt be thinking like this but at times that seems to pop in my head. How can I look at this at a postive perspective? Has anyone been in this same situation and have any advise?
2006-10-10 07:57:19 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Im 20 and my boyfriend is 37. I think about the same too. However the good time that we spend together and the good times Im sure that you guys spend together is what the focus should be. While the future is a big concern, those years are very very far away. And however you look at it, no one actually knows if you or I are going to be in these relationships forever.
But I dont think that the age gaps will matter. Most people that dont know or are unfamiliar with our situations, just think that we're "too young to understand", that these men "are just using us", "robbing us of our innocence" or that we "seek older men for what they can give us", etc, etc. But that is very untrue. I too just moved in with my boyfriend and love him dearly. And its not a goldigging situation or a situation in which Im being taken advantage of. Simply put, we love each other regardless of our age gaps. Our age gaps have nothing to do with our mental compalibility.
So in the meantime, my advice to you is enjoy the blessings that you have right now and take things one day at a time. Dont leap too far into the future, it'll only make you paranoid. We dont even know if we'll make it to be that old, with the way the world is these days!
Hope this helps. Best of luck!
And remember youre not alone :o)
2006-10-10 08:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by Roselyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetheart I feel for you and your confusion, however the questions you have are simply not important if you are in love! You could marry someone younger than yourself or even someone who is your own age and he could die at any time! For any reason! Everyone dies eventually... I think you are feeling something more than what your future is going to bring as far as being left alone after he passes. Either people around you don't completely agree with your relationship or you are questioning it yourself and the age issue is what you are using for your excuse. I am 35 years old and my bf is 20 we have been dating for just over a year and I have many questions about what is going to be best for him in the long run but none of it is regarding death and being left alone. Do some more soul searching, see what is really bothering you...
2006-10-10 16:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by Sam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 22 and my ex-boyfriend was 38... we were good together and age didn't really cause too much of a problem except when he was talking about growing up... and some of our interests were about 20 years off... the only thing that was weird is he had 2 kids that were closer to me in age then him hahaha.
I thought about what would happen if we stayed together and being with him in the future being far apart in age. The one thing I came up with is Men age better then women, they stay younger looking longer and seem to have more energy and stamina and stay in better shape too. So he can be a good lookin 70yr. old and you can still be Hot Too. I think it works out to cause your sexual peaks should be around the same time. I dont think men ever loose their's =P but women supposedly hit theirs at like 35 about that time he will be about 50 possibly going through his mid-life crisis and he wont have to go looking anywhere cause hes got his younger girlfriend wanting to be on top of him all the time hahhahahaa.
If you love him and he loves you, age doesnt mean anything... but I will suggest if you want to have children... you may want to talk about that with him, my ex didnt want anymore children... hence he is my ex. Good Luck
2006-10-10 15:06:33 · answer #3 · answered by BeachLvr2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love him now and that is all that matters. He/You may not live to 40 even. Seize the time that you have now for would you rather be at 56 knowing you were with the most wonderful man in the world or 56 wondering did you miss the man that could have brought you happiness.
2006-10-10 15:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by The One Truth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look if think you have had enough expedience to make a judgment call go ahead and make it.....
My advice is if you gotta ask for advice you are looking for a way out of the relationship
If you go ahead a marry him -- good luck -- but a lot of life insurance on him so if he pass away before you, you can buy some love next time around...
2006-10-10 15:02:12 · answer #5 · answered by Irish Wander 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am eight years older than my soon to be husband, and as a female it is hard to be eight years older, but he has shown me that age is just a number. You need to listen to your heart and if your partner is okay with it, then open your ears a little more to your heart...maybe you're not hearing it. What you need to do is remember what made you fall in love with this man and when you start thinking about the age then remember those qualities. Youve made it this long, you should be able to get through your whole life.
2006-10-10 15:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by Shana H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i,myself, am in a relationship with a guy that is 12 years older than me...and no i do not think of that particular situation...all i know is that you can't control or even know what the future has in store...so for now live and enjoy each day, night, every moment that u share together...and the rest will fall into place...
2006-10-10 15:02:33 · answer #7 · answered by sexyback1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is only normal to think about those kinds of things. Look at it from this perspective, you too will share such great experiences and emotions together that age should never be a factor.
2006-10-10 15:00:31 · answer #8 · answered by DaRkViXeN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it does not mater how old he is or you are love sees no age so if you love him then be with him and you never know when that time will come you might pass before him you never know just Cherish the days you have with him as if it were your last and enjoy life to the fullest i hope this helps best of luck to you both
2006-10-10 15:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by kristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't think about when you're old or when he's gone and think about all the good times you'll have until then. True love lasts even after death. You'll see him again and in the meantime have all the memories and a reason not to fear death.
2006-10-10 14:59:40 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋