please, i dont want to get a divorce, we have been married for almost 2 years and have a daughter together.
2006-10-10 07:51:08 · 59 answers · asked by Kaleigh P 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry you are going through this. Try having a heart to heart chat with him and see if there's anything the two of you can do to salvage your marriage. If he is adamant about ending it, it would be best for everyone involved if you granted him the divorce.
When it comes down to it, you can't force him to love you. And, if you were to stay together solely for your daughter's sake, it would create a hostile environment for her. In the end, you have to do what is right for your child and for you. Letting him go, althoough painful, may be the best thing.
Again, I am so sorry you're going through this. I hope you manage to work things out, but if you can't, I hope you move on with your life and find happiness. Take care of yourself.
2006-10-10 07:59:31 · answer #1 · answered by Avie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend went through the same situation 3 years ago apart from the abortion bit. She misscarried instead. She was engaged to be married, but she misscarried, she wasn't ready to have kids at all. Up to the wedding they kept arguing, but the feelings were there still there for each other. He said to her the only way we can stop the arguments is to have a baby. She gave in and fell pregnant. The baby was born and 4 months after he left her cause, he couldn't stand having kids, the noise and didn't wanna even help her around the house. He was going out drinking every night, and cared more about the football on Tv then his family. No they are divorce. You need to think what you really want? don't feel pressured. Plus you don't want to be a single mother like my friend is. Its a difficult situation, but personally you both need to sit down and talk about what the problem is really is, and come to solutions. Even if you had some space for couple of weeks so both of you can think, this sometimes helps as you both relise how much you love each other and how much you miss each other. Good luck, do wish you well. x
2016-03-28 03:54:48 · answer #2 · answered by Shane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there. My husband left the kids and me about a year ago. We both had divorce lawyers and I am pretty sure he was cheating.
This is what you have to do stay strong. Take out all the money from your joint checking account and set up your own account so that you have money for your child and you. It sounds mean but if you are a stay at home Mom like me and he leaves you are screwed. Prove to him you can live without him. Don't beg for him to stay and don't grovel.
I swore that I would never find anyone else but about a month after he moved out I found a fabulous guy.
Well my husband found out about this guy and guess who came home? Yea my husband.
He may or may not come back like my husband did, but you need to preserve your self respect. Believe me I didn't want a divorce either. With three kids it's the last thing I wanted. But you need to show your man that the world doesn't revolve around him and the Earth will keep moving if he's gone.
When he was gone everyone told me he would come back. Everyone was like you are so beautiful inside and out. He is an idiot. Believe me he is. So you need to hold your head up high and love yourself. Because you can't make him love you. And if he doesn't, I swear someone else will. God bless you honey.
2006-10-10 08:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by jenlovely01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married 19 years and he told me he wanted a divorce because even though he loved me, he wasn't in love with me. No matter what I did or said he was adamant that he wanted out of our marriage. I felt I had no choice but to give him a divorce. We had 2 teenaged children at the time. When they say they don't love you anymore, there really isn't much you can do about it. He had someone else he had fallen in love with. Although I thought it was the end of my life, I have come to see that I am better off without him and have met a new man who loves me, is in love with me and me with him. We have now been married 6 years and it's wonderful. You are worth a lot more than he makes you feel. Leave him and start a new life on your own. You can do it. Good luck.
2006-10-10 07:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open the Cage... Ever see a bird in a cage, that want's out? He will flutter around and pick at the bars. Obviously he feels trapped in the relationship. Open the cage and all the sudden he doesn't know whether to leave the security of it; into uncertanty or stay where he's safe. When a lover wants to leave and you clench on they feel even more smothered. Give him some room.... sure he may go, but then he actually has a choice to stay. Quit being an open book, let him try to figure out what's going through your head for once. Instead of you constantly trying to get him to open up. I have been in that situation before, and would do anything to save my family. It's not all up to you though, and trust me, everything will be ok.
2006-10-10 08:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by ~MB~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once one of the partners has made up their mind there is really nothing the other can do. This may be upsetting but, sweetie why be with someone who doesn't want you? Your daughter would much rather have happy parents even if that means that they are not together rather than having miserable parents who are "just staying together". I am sure that you will find someone else. It may seem like the end of the road and that you have hit rock bottom, but look at it this way, you can only move forward then. No one said this would be easy and it will hurt but trust me, it will get easier.
2006-10-10 07:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All these people say "he's a jerk" or "why would you want to stay with him if he doesn't love you". I dont think they understand. You love him. True love is unconditional. I know I love someone very much and she treats me like crap. She used to be so sweet and kind but now she doesnt care. Unfortunetly I fell in love with her long ago and cant stop loving her simply because she is mean and ignores and uses me. U cant choose who you love. I am so sorry to hear that your husband says he doesn't love you anymore. Its sad how people say that they will love you always and then change thier minds. How could he make a commitment to you like marriage and then take it back.
I am sorry to hear this. Really I am. I think you should sit him down and have a real heart to heart talk with him. See if there is another woman involved. If not, ask him what happened and why he no longer loves you. Then tell him that you really love him and want to stay with him and would try hard to make things work.
If you need someone to talk to you can message me.
2006-10-10 08:08:24 · answer #7 · answered by chris42050 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the devils advocate here but when a person does not love u then u should let go and let them leave. There is proven way to make your husband stay with u. Divorce is never easy and it almost always is hard. But look at the upside to things in a divorce 95% of the time the judge favours the wife.
2006-10-10 08:36:01 · answer #8 · answered by Adam K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From personal experience, once a person's mind is made up that they want out of a relationship, pretty much nothing will change it. I notices a comment where someone said get pregnant again but if you already have a child together and that is not going to keep him do you really think bring another child into the picture is going to make him stay? You seek counseling for yourself and you prepare to live your life for your child and not the man who no longer loves you.
2006-10-10 08:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by Tanya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs a break. There must be something that is triggering this. You need to sit down with him and find out what the issues are, recommend going to see a marriage counseler. But here is the reality you have to face, you can not make him stay. As hard as it may be, if he does not love you, he is not going to stay, and it may not feel like it now, but you will get on with your life. You and your daughter deserve someone who is fully there for you and is going to love you both. It is hard to be a single mom, but it is harder to be an unloved wife. Good luck to you.
2006-10-10 07:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by stephaniencurtis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋